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Welcome to the Week 1 of the 2022 NFL & Fantasy Football season. To all of you out there that haven't completely left your NFL team aside to root for your Fantasy Team, I applaud you. I likely still hate your real life team as much as I hate your Fantasy Football team, but I applaud the dedication. But it is at this time of year that life becomes easier. Life becomes less stressed. You find ample opportunities to watch as much football as possible and make every excuse to disregard everything other important thing that could get in the way.
My hope is that you stay up late on Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays and hell, throw in some College Football and stay up late on Saturdays. Get your hopes up. Let your teams and players let you down. Go to work groggy and tired the next day and tell yourself, life is only as bad as my fantasy team and remember that at this point of the season, as we go into Week 1, we are all similar to little prepubescent children, before you got that first curly little pube guy that you were proud of.
HOW?, you may ask. Well we all have these hopes for what our life[team] will grow up to be.
Some of you may have a deep history of trauma within your team already. And for the most part, you're already screwed up. Hopefully we don't hear you on a murder podcast in the near future. You will probably end up leaving mid season, shirt thrown off, blaming everyone else on your team.
Some of you may have huge goals and aspirations for your team. You think your team is the best and will continue to succeed. You are the children that come from wealthy families and present parents. Then you will go off to college, drink your life away while taking a multitude of drugs, and smile while you do it. Will you amount to anything. No one really knows. But you'll have a hell of a time in the middle.
Some of you may be down in the dumps. You didn't start with much. And maybe you don't even believe in yourself. And to be honest, with that kind of mindset, idk why you are even in this league. Quit. Go home. Your life isn't going to be anything. loser.
And one of you. You likely have dreams. And because of some privilege within your own life and nothing you actually did, you will succeed in life. Congrats, champ.
A few announcements before we get going:
Prizes, unless we have huge objections this year will be as follows* Just remember that no one can win 2 prizes.
1st Place - $300
Most Points - $80
2nd Place - $40
We are still working out a punishment for this season. We will have that decided, or a forum sent out to you, before the next blog to put things in stone. It's not a league without a punishment.
We will be planning future scrambles and watching parties. I would LOVE to have as many of you Daddies up here in Bluffton. Be on the lookout for Events and let me know if/when you want to host something.
Future blogs this year - With the Results being taken over by Blake with Podcasts, I want to get to know all you Daddies a little better. Each blog this year will start out with some information about a different daddy. So I need help from you with some cute pictures, some dirty secrets, and any other information that would be fun to share.
&&&&&& Now we are back to...... TO THE PREDICTIONS...
Week 1 PREDICTIONS
Matchup of the Week
Team Keegs (0-0) vs Throw Bombs, Bang Moms (0-0)
Get over it. Yes I'm the matchup of the week and it really didn't matter who played who this week. I was taking this Matchup to talk about my team as much as I could & to talk about how much we hate a guy that didn't even draft his team. Josh Allen has a tough matchup this Thursday vs the Rams. Could be big numbers, could also be shut down by good D's. If he doesn't find the endzone rushing, he Keegs might struggle. On the flip side, Kyler and Hollywood are going to be a lethal duo against the KC D. Combine that with Javonte and CMC playing Robin in the revenge games for their QB's. Easy choice. Love the moms here.
Prediction: Throw Bombs, Bang Moms
Ass Prediction: Team Keegs
Victorville City (0-0) vs Chris B Bacon (0-0)
I did mention that if Victorville and the Aeros go to the ship then I'll shave my hair. & here I am predicting that Victorville wins week 1... but here is why. I think it's a shootout in Arizona for Patty & he is ready to PROVE that he doesnt need Tyreek to be successful. and I believe it. JT hits a couple huge runs against Houston, and AJ Dillon shows (while not a 3rd round pick) that he can take over a backfield. Lamar should have a great game, but too many questions with ETN and that backfield along with Davante Adams first game as a Raider. Love Bacon a lot of weeks. but this week, it's just too crispy.
Prediction: Victorville
Ass Prediction: Bacon Boy
Return of the PP (0-0) vs Cincinnati Forklifts (0-0)
WHO DOESN'T LOVE A GOOD RETURN STORY. Well unfortunately for PP, it seems like sequels are never quite as good as the original. Maybe it can be turned around, but for this week, you're being loaded onto a pallet (a pallet full of PP), and being Forklifted away. Herbert and Ekeler are too talented this week and Rashod Batemen gets to prove he deserves to be WR1 in that offense. In a week they will throw a lot without their RB1. PP does stand a chance if Private Matt Ryan can hook up with Pittman a time, or two. DK is going to struggle seeing Russ on the other side of the field.
Prediction: Cincinnati Forklifts
Ass Prediction: OSHA Cert. Forklifts
Saving Private (Matt) Ryan (0-0) vs Team eDawg (0-0)
Sorry bud. Saving Private Ryan is a great movie. Not sure if it's going to help you lead your team to victory, but this one will be close. I think it depends if Burrow hooks up with Tee Higgins or not. Look for Burrow to spread the ball around a little more than last year and for them to struggle offensively during game 1 a bit more than they will the rest of the season, but I think Burrow and Mixon hook up for a tuddy along with Russ serving to his new big b**** in Courtland Sutton. Swift is a good play against a week Philly D this week, but how much of the Lions hype is just because they've been on TV the last few weeks. It's a close one.
Prediction: Team eDawg
Ass Prediction: eDawg
Chicago Dogs (0-0) vs SQL Server (0-0)
Pretty sure that while the ASS predicted for himself to win, he would switch his entire team for the Dogs if he got the chance. Kamara gets to prove if its worthwhile for him to not be suspended in week 1 and against an unproven Falcons team is a chance to do it. Will having Jamis back be helpful for him?? I think the Dogs team as a whole, Kamara, Conner, Jefferson, Jeudy, Hockenson, and Akers (don't love the flex here) catch more passes as a team than any other team this week. Clatterbuck needs a big game from Hurts to even stand a chance here. Maybe Christian Kirk will score for you...still dont think it will be enough.
Prediction: Chicago Dogs
Ass Prediction: SQL Server
Akron Aeros (0-0) vs Jacksonville Jacks (0-0)
Going against the team I voted as having the best draft in Week 1 is surely a wild ride, but the matchups for the Jacks are just atrocious where as the Aeros have an optimal opportunity to take advantage in the position they are. Even worse, I agreed to shaving my head if the Aeros and Victorville make it to the finals and here I am, predicting them both to win this week. But come on...Stafford will struggle against the Buffalo D, especially with his shoulder still hurting. JK is not at full health, Chase will get shadowed all day, but maybe gets a big 1. Compared to the Aeros who have Russ in a return game, Hunt who is looking to get to a new team and a new contract, Dallas Goedert who is likely to score in Detroit, and Michael Thomas ready to make the biggest comeback of 2022. Look out for the standing to be wild at the end of this week.
Prediction: Akron Aeros
Ass Prediction: Akron Lebro...Aeros
Love yall daddies, Commish <3
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