Blog #14 - Week 12 Results

Week 12 RESULTS

Matchup of the Week

Throw Bombs, Bang Moms (8-4) vs Excel Extraordinaire (5-7)

Talk about overthrowing the dictator, grabbing a cock by the balls, or putting an excel sheet together so perfectly you automatically just bang all of the moms in the world to ever exist. Because gosh this week was a wreck for fantasy football* and my team put together a performance looser than a senior softball player from AU. In a week I thought I was going to put it together, and with a chance to put away the ASS for good this season, I came out flat (again like an AU softball player), and Excel just flat out looked really really freaking good scoring the highest score in the league this season!!!! Justin Herbert tore up the Arizona defense like expected, Miles Sanders came out with an RB2 week out of no where, and the Dolphins Defense looked like it hasnt been one of the worst all year. Go figure. One of those weeks. Bombs just need to put it back together before the playoffs. 

Prediction: Moms - WRONG (0-1)

Ass Prediction: Excel - RIGHT (1-0)

Victorville Vengeance (7-5) vs Looking Forward To Next Year (4-8)

A name change is pretty fitting for Aaron's squad. Lucky for him, he still has to play for a chance to not get completely last...but drunk Aaron would be pretty fun <3. Or watching him eat some yummy breadsticks. anyways.... Vic continues to perform. Even with a big ol' dud from the TE, Vic still manages to put up over 100pts, something Aaron's team has only done twice this year. Many of us may have questioned Victor's draft strategy, many of us may be replicating it next year. Having a stud QB is something that Aaron never managed. But there are pieces here. Can they come together on the right week to avoid an end of the season disaster??

Prediction: Vic - RIGHT (1-1)

Ass Prediction: Vic - RIGHT (2-0)

Nice Diggs (9-3) vs Team EDAWG (5-7)

WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK... Nice Diggs CAN be defeated. Admist, it was by 3.4 points (if only Indy's D didnt suck), but hey, does Diggs even care at this point? ETN may not be available for Diggs the next week or two, but he should be back in time for it to matter. Plus his 5 bench RB's should be helpful in filling in somewhere. But the truth here is that the WR trio for this team looks wild...and this was a bad week for them. EDAWG managed to squeeeeeeeeeeeeeek out a win with Joe Mixon hurt. Somehow this keeps him in the playoff hunt but where are the studs on this team? Can they continue to win games with just good performances? Better cross your fingers, toes, and even with someone elses penis and hope going forward it's good.

Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (1-2)

Ass Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (2-1)

Team Keegs (8-4) vs Chicago Dogs (5-7)

I've read so many blogs and tweets this week that are talking about how KWIII is not doing as well as he did early this season, what happened to him, etc. and then I look and he still scored 16.4 points! He outscored Derrick Henry for goodness sake. Josh Allen lit up the Lions D, as expected, and came out with a QB1 performance while also having the WR3 on the week too in Amon-Ra. Gosh, his bench still scored well too. If keegs can manage this team well, lookout. The Dogs went away from their Viking Stack and lost a few points with Kirky on the bench....not enough to matter, but points are points. Especially when you're in a hunt in the "BAD" division which may come down to points. Justin Jefferson is a certified stud. but when 1 player amounts for almost 18% of your total points, and you have the 3rd least points in the league, it doesn't look good bud....

Prediction: Keegs - RIGHT (2-2)

Ass Prediction: Keegs - RIGHT (3-1)

The PP May Already Be Dead (9-3) vs Lake Erie Elves (3-9)

CAN THIS MAN BE STOPPED!?!? Officially the HOTTEST Daddy in Daddy this year as their win streak pushes to 7, the second hottest daddy of all time as Chris B Bacon had a win streak of 11 last year... do they need to lose before then? PP then went and doubled up the Elves this week. All PP needed to play was Josh Jacobs, Derek Carr, and Chase McLaughlin. Those 3 ALONE would have beat the Elves. On the bright side, at least their RB department put up a respectable 31.1. For the Elves sake, they are hoping that Kupp and Thomas make some late season comeback in order to save them in the losers bracket. You have been officially.... ELIMINATED.

Prediction: Elves - WRONG (2-3)

Ass Prediction: PP - RIGHT (4-1)

God Hates Forklifts (5-7) vs Geno, Help (4-8)

If God really hated Forklifts, would he let them win? Or does God allow for Free Will in order for the things he hates to still exist because of the Fall. Can Geno, Help blame this lost on Eve??? She was the one to eat the apple. After the win for the Forkies, where do they go from here? Do they continue to believe that God hates them? Is that their motivation? Their Haters, God, is their motivators???? It sure worked for Jalen Hurts as he turned in the QB2 on the week performance. Coupled with the continued career year for Austin Ekeler as the RB MVP and true RB1 on the season, the Forklifts have hope! Especially as Kirk and Cook both had off weeks. You know that most weeks they're not playing stud defenses and putting in a better performance. For Geno, their not out of it. They're barely in it. Kinda how I imagine fat people sex. You can't be out of it to call it sex, but how much are you really in it... With your tummies in the way, how does that work? anyways, that is Geno looking to string SOMETHING along to make the playoffs. They will need to replace James Robinson to make it happen...watcha gonna do, GENO......

Prediction: Geno, Help - WRONG (2-4)

Ass Prediction: Forkies - RIGHT (5-1)