You would think that in today's day and age, kids would be more improved with their technology skills. I mean heck, they don't have to have the severe back pain from lugging around 7 books and notebooks in a backpack all day or fight through kissing couples in hallways in order to stop at their locker to put away a binder and a book only to pick up another one - and you only know what is what because of the colored book cover that your mom bought at the store for you - or if you were poor the one you tried to make out of a paper bag.
Anyways, you would think kids would be all tech savy. I mean have you seen tik tok vidoes and those transtitions?? WILD. While they may be able to do somethings on their computer, these kids CANNOT TYPE WELL to save their life. The amount of kids that are out here pecking on their keyboards letter by letter with only their right (and sometimes left) index finger is absolutely ridiculous. No wonder these kids can't put out an entire essay because it takes them 45 seconds to type out the Quick Brown Fox sentence. What happened to keyboarding class? What happened to practicing your typing speed? Go ahead and take the typing test. Linked there. The real challenge is - can you type faster than your fantasy football score average??
Anyways, I cut my left index finger this weekend and while I don't chicken peck these letters, it does make typing especially hard. So let's see what we get to writing about...
TO THE RESULTS...
Week 9 RESULTS
Matchup of the Week
Victorville Vengeance (5-5) vs Chicago Dogs (5-5)
The highest scoring loser of the week, the Dogs put up a respectable 109.53 points, 6 points higher than their average. But you can thank Justin Jefferson and James Conner alone for that. Juedy going down early with an injury and failing to do ANYTHING for you hurt, but really was it even a difference maker if he did play? Alvin Kamara looked like he fit in more with Alvin and the Chipmunks than he did on an NFL roster this week, putting up the least amount of points this year in a game he played in. Victorville didn't run the matchup with Tyreek like i thought, but he did run the matchup with his running backs. IS JT BACK!?!?!? Taylor looked like his old self in his 40+ yard TD run and Pollard looks like he never wants to give the backfield back to Zeke. I mean, gosh, why would they? This is Victorville's potential... can we squeak out enough consistency to make a run?
Prediction: Vengeance - RIGHT (1-0)
Ass Prediction: Dogs - WRONG (0-1)
Guest Prediction: Vengeance - RIGHT (1-0)
Team EDAWG (4-6) vs Throw Bombs, Bang Moms (7-3)
WAYYYYYY closer than any sort of comfort, but still banging all the broads, even the ugly ones. No electric performance from anyone on the Mom roster. What does CMC's production look like going forward is the real question. If EDAWG would have played Melvin over Herbert he would have won. Woulda coulda shoulda. Lock it in.Â
Prediction: Moms - RIGHT (2-0)
Ass Prediction: Moms - RIGHT (1-1)
Guest Prediction: Moms - RIGHT (2-0)
Ehlinger? I Hardly Know Her! (4-6) vs Forklift 2: The Forks Return (4-6)
Predicting against your own team, huh? And then getting it wrong. When you don't have hope in yourself but it works out?? I am not sure if you can even be proud of something like that. It's like admiring some broad from across the bar, not having the balls to go talk to her yourself because you think you'll get rejected, and then her talking to you at the end of the night. I mean, you get the girl at the end of the night, so I suppose you win. But you also know that she tied your hands to the bed post and slapped your bare a** with a whip until you cried out mommy. But I suppose if you're into that stuff...Apparently the Forkies pep talk via dm via his agent worked this week as most of his team brought it. Christian Kirk was resurrected this week with two TD's and Dalvin Cook cooked up the strong Buffalo D. AJ Brown couldnt connect with his QB this week, and Pittman wasnt anything wonderful in the offense back with Matt Ryan. I believed in you and so did your opponent. Unfortunately, you didnt believe in you.
Prediction: Ehlinger - WRONG (2-1)
Ass Prediction: Forkies - RIGHT (2-1)
Guest Prediction: Ehlinger - WRONG (2-1)
Lake Erie Elves (3-7) vs Nice Diggs (8-2)
"If I beat Chris Boylan this week, I want a public apology from the Commish on the next Podcast and blog" "We'll see" "I Got Receipts" "Holding on to these" - Well screw you and your damn apology that you ain't getting, put up some freakin points if you want any respeck in this league. 60 points... pathetic. Now, Cooper Kupp is possibly out for the rest of the fantasy football year too. Oh boy. Watcha gonna do now. Nice Diggs out here just letting his WR duo carry his team once again. Niceeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (3-1)
Ass Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (3-1)
Guest Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (3-1)
Jack N' Goff (4-6) vs Team Keegs (6-4)
While I knew Jack was in for a potential upset of Team Keegs, I did not predict CeeDee to lead the league's WR's in 1/2 point scoring this week!! CeeDee put up enough himself to cover Keegs WR duo and the flex WR too. But the downfall for Keegs this week came from a disappointing RB group - the group that has carried him week after week. Both RB's were stuffed against tough Defensive lines and KWIII couldn't pull a WWI and find a win in Germany. Or something like that. Is there a point Keegs thinks about Tua instead of Josh Allen? Can Jack N Goff be consistent??
Prediction: Jack - RIGHT (4-1)
Ass Prediction: Keegs - WRONG (3-2)
Guest Prediction: Keegs - WRONG (3-2)
Excel Extraordinarie (3-7) vs The PP May Already Be Dead (7-3)
Not 1, Not 2, Not 3, Not 4, Not 5. Wait, yes 5. But still!!!! 5 games in a row for PP. Bigger than the majority of the league. In PP size and bigger than EVERYONE in win steak, this man is on fire!!! I would not want to face him anytime soon, and thankful I don't. Justin Fields has looked INCREDIBLE and while the Bears still suck, it has to be demoralizing for Blake as he watches his Bears lose in real life, and also watches Justin Fields destroy his fantasy football team. I mean the man scored 2/3rds of your team's entire points.... How have those trades been for ya, bud?
Prediction: PP - RIGHT (5-1)
Ass Prediction: Excel - WRONG (3-3)
Guest Prediction: PP - RIGHT (4-2)
Week 9 Results
Commish
5-1
ASS
3-3
GUEST
4-2
Full Season Results
Commish
40 CORRECT
20 WRONG
66.7%
ASS
33 CORRECT
27 WRONG
55.0%
With Love, Commish