I could sit here and right something interesting. I could bring out my creative side of my brain talking about some completely utter nonsense and then inevitably end up making some penis or gay sex innuendo. When you live with Blake and Glen long enough, they become like a second language. But to be honest, I just don't want to. Not only is it NFL season, not only is it College Football season, but College Basketball season just started - we don't care about any other sport going on right now, especially NHL. And instead of writing this blog intro that you don't care about (some of you may, but most of you just scroll to your matchup you selfish little bastards), I'd rather be looking up someone to bet tonight. And while I do that most weeks, Monday night had like 100+ college basketball games. I bet on those. Here are some bets I like....
I actually wrote alot of that on Monday. I hit some, and I missed some. But we came out positive. A few more i like tonight:
Purdue -26 (-26)
They're definitely not as good this year as they were last year, but there's enough there. Purdue graduated 4 seniors while Ivey left. But they're still some guys trying to prove themselves. And they play Milwaukee who did play last night against a community college. Milwaukee will be tired. Purdue takes this one by 28
Hartford +8.5 (-115)
This line was +1 or even before yesterday afternoon when Hartford's coach resigned from the program due to the president wanting to take the program from D1 to DIII. The coach is not responsible for 7-8 points. They still play here. I may even take the ML because these guys are out to prove something.
Parlay the two (+256) Boosted to (+385) on Draft Kings
Okay, to the results...
Week 9 RESULTS
Matchup of the Week
Forklifts 2: The Fork Returns (3-6) vs Team EDAWG (4-5)
So...uhhhh. yeah. The Blessssssing. The Curse was fun because it just happened. The Blessing was pushed a little too hard. So maybe that's why it duddddded out. The Forklifts are going to need to quickly progress through their Revenge, and an Awakening in order to get to The Rise of the Forkies in order to have a chance to end their season on a high note. In a week that both of these teams needed a W to keep their playoff contention in conversation, EDAWG rose to the occasion, in this situation, he made his proclamation declaration his main obligation in order to lead his team to the resurrection of their playoff contention. And this week was just that. and why you may ask? Because Joe M'F' Mixon. When you go for 200+ total yards and 5 total tuddies, I would say you should have a pretty good chance to win. You take that into thought and losing by 24 really isn't that bad. Unfortunately, the Forklifts continue to be the team that is scored most against...
Maybe the Forkies spoke this into existence. They said they would rather the Bengals win the SuperBowl than their Fantasy Football team win. I'm not saying that is what is going to happen going forward, but I'm also not saying it's not...
Prediction: Forklifts - WRONG (0-1)
Ass Prediction: Forklifts - WRONG (0-1)
Guest Prediction: Forklifts - WRONG (0-1)
The PP May Already be Dead (5-3) vs Ehlinger? I Hardly Know Her (4-4)
Justin Fields is...good!?!? When you rush for 178 yards you're a pretty good running back. I mean heck, the previously mentioned Joe Mixon didn't even do that this week. But when you do it as a QB, you're a new NFL record holder. And when you do that as the starting QB for the PP, you're their new shower material for the week. While the Bears still lost, PP may have found a diamond in the rough for the rest of their season. They also sat Kenyan Drake on the bench and have Nick Chubb coming back next week. Oh boy. Hardly Know Her is still trying to figure out their QB situation. But you know, probably not a QB issue. Hasn't been the last year and half. Maybe they need a manager/coach overhaul as well. Bring in some guy whose last coaching/managing experience was a losing season at the high school record. There is a reason this team was trying to trade everyone (besides Kelce) this week. They envisioned things not going their way. Outside of Kelce, and maybe even Juju, what is here?
Prediction: PP - RIGHT (1-1)
Ass Prediction: PP - RIGHT (1-1)
Guest Prediction: PP - RIGHT (1-1)
Excel Extraordinaire (3-6) vs Team Keegs (6-3)
Out of the 102.6 points that Keegs scored, 74.7 came from his QB and his two RB's. To put that in perspective, Excel would have only won that matchup by .2. Whether you want to see it as a big W for Keegs or a funny loss for Excel, it's embarassing either way. While Josh Allen has looked like a total stud all year and QB1, there's lots of different rumors on what his Elbow injury means for not only his season outlook, but possibly even career outlook.... Thats a problem folks. But not for Keegs who has been planning for this exact moment all year and saving Tua, who would have been QB4 on the week. Thats a nice backup to have. As for Excel, they continue to start Justin Herbert who has looked like poopy since he traded them with the Forks. He just looks at Jalen Hurts from afar, pondering, wishing he had never left. Excel might be winning the league if it were an attempt to leave his best scoring players there every week.
Prediction: KEEGS - RIGHT (2-1)
Ass Prediction: Excel - WRONG (1-2)
Guest Prediction: Excel - WRONG (1-2)
Throw Bombs, Bang Moms (6-3) vs Chicago Dogs (5-4)
How LIKELY would you have said that LIKELY would outscore Alvin Kamara on Monday night football, leading the Moms to do the banging of those Dogs. While we're not into beastiality, we are into supporting hot moms getting their own. It was a rough week for the Dogs. Not because they didn't perform well (they scored the 5th most in the week) but because they scored the 5th most this week and still lost. They were the highest scoring team this week that didn't come away with a W. Another interesting note, both Moms and Dogs had the lowest scoring bench points - combining for 6.6 points. They combined for less points than the next lowest bench of the week. Basically, these managers did the right thing. Optimized their starting line ups and put up respectable points. Thankfully, in a week without a stud performance, the Moms were able to be more consistent throughout the entire lineup than the Dogs were. Bad week for Kamara to have his worst week since week 3.
Prediction: Bombs & Moms - RIGHT (3-1)
Ass Prediction: Bombs & Moms - RIGHT (2-2)
Guest Prediction: Bombs & Moms - RIGHT (2-2)
Victorville Vengeance (4-5) vs Erie Elves (3-6)
2 things out of this matchup surprised me. #1. The Elves picked up a RB and didn't manage to start someone who scored 0 points (because the 1.2 was a MASSIVE upgrade), and #2. That Glen didn't send 10K texts about how he won this week. Not that he had done that in the past, but because I don't think anyone expected him to get another win all season. I don't know if we ever expected anyone outside of Cooper Kupp to show that they had life in them, but lone and behold Dallas Goedert looked great!!! Now I'm not saying they had the better team this week... If Victorville starts the Pats D or even Mecole Hardman they come out with the W. Doesn't help that Higbee put up nothin... I expect better weeks out of Victorville, although maybe not from the RB group. But none the less, the Elves come away with it.
Prediction: Victorville - WRONG (3-2)
Ass Prediction: Victorville - WRONG (2-3)
Guest Prediction: Victorville - WRONG (2-3)
Nice Diggs (7-2) & Jack N' Goff (3-6)
A game that played out as close to what the predictions were, did we expect anything else. One of these weeks, Diggs is gonna have everyone hit at once. For now, it's enough to keep them rolling in control of 1st place. Just hope Jack N' will be fine after this week little buddy. This one hurt.
Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (4-2)
Ass Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (3-3)
Guest Prediction: Diggs - RIGHT (3-3)
Week 9 Results
Commish
4-2
ASS
3-3
GUEST
3-3
Full Season Results
Commish
35 CORRECT
19 WRONG
64.8%
ASS
30 CORRECT
24 WRONG
55.5%
With Love, Commish