PRE-SEASON

As the sayings go "The good things in life are worth waiting for" and "Nothing good comes easy" but sometimes you can't help yourself and things just cum a little too early. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? It feels just as damn good as if you would have waited. I mean it may suck and not be as good for someone else, but for you, oh it's just as good. For example:

• You could wait until 5pm to have a nice cold one after a long hard day of work OR you pop one early, hell you take a half day at hit the range and start drinking at 12:30 on a Friday afternoon. You could have waited, but wow was it nice to have it a bit early.

• Some people live for the moment where the game is on the line and the winning play to be made. Instead, why not make the play earlier? Why let the other team think they have a chance. Be early. Don't wait.

• Maybe you have morals. Maybe you don't know how the internet works. Maybe you just wait until a movie comes out on DVD. If you're not illegally streaming them movies you should prob figure your life out. 

• Throwing your car in park before you are completely stopped. Transmission? Never heard of her. I stop when i'm ready to stop, not when the car has stopped, dammit.

• Maybe tmi but who tf cares. On my honeymoon my wife tried to be cute doing a little strip tease. You better know your commish ain't that patient. And you know what, it was actually probably better than waiting. I didn't get married just to see some lingerie slowly come off.

So leave work early, don't wait. Grab your beer of choice, find your illegally streamed sports channel, throw that damn car in park, get freaking naked, and GET READY FOR DRAFT DAY DADDIES FANTASY FOOTBALL BECAUSE WE'RE MF BACK BABBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

A few things to note before we get going. We've downsized in our league. Some of us couldn't quite handle a full 14" so we're downsizing to 12". The bright side is we're still above average. The downside is I don't think we're circumsized. Hopefully no smegma... gross. We may have one person who is looking to join, so if you know of someone else we may be able to do some business.

Last year we had a lot of things go well. A lot of you were great managers. A lot of you read the blogs, participated in the group chats, and most importantly, did life together. SOME OF YOU hate the rest of us. You decided it's better to wank your own meat instead of letting us get a good ol' circle together. So for all of you, here are some additional rules and information to go over.

1. Be Active In The League

   1. You are in this league to be present. None of this set it and forget it crap. We want you to know who you're starting every week. We want you to be active on the waiver wire. No more starting players that are injured or on byes. Frankly, I don't give a d*** what else you got going on in your life, prioritize the things that are important to you... THIS LEAGUE. And in the great words of Dan Cambell "It doesn't matter if you have one a** cheek and 3 toes, I will beat your a**"... if you're not.

2. Watch the games

   1. What the hell else are you supposed to do on Sunday afternoons, Monday nights, and Thursday nights, with the occasional Saturday thrown in. Go out to dinner with your wife, girlfriend, or some booty call. Sit out back and have a fire staying away from electronics. Go camping in the woods. Go to the zoo. Stay after church talking to friends about other important things in life OTHER than NFL and fantasy football. HELL NO PEOPLE. You watch the games. You watch all of them. Then watch the highlights. Then read about the highlights. Its football season. dO yOu NoT uNdErStAnD!?

3. Be friends

   1. Most people in this league you should know. Some you may not. Most of you may not even believe that Evan is an actual person. TBH i'm not even sure if he is or not. But what I do know... is that I didn't know Jackson at the start of last year. Now I'd suck the guy off if he really needed it. Thankfully he's got some help in that area, but ya know, thats what friends do. Thats what this league does. We're gonna have a calendar with some fun things. So join us ya know.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

1. LOOK AT THIS FREAKING WEBSITE YALL!!!! After you finish this blog, go off and explore. Find out all the cool things. The ASS has been doing way too much butt stuff lately and found out that he had a particular set of skills that makes him good at coding and stuff and creating this entire freaking website. ANDDDDD on top of that, Peyton created our logo and a bunch of Alt's that we'll be using throughout the season and for our DDD Brand. If only he could manage a team the way that he could create a logo...

2. If you hate to read, well too bad, do it anyways. But if you really hate to read, we have a podcast better than Barstool, better than Crime Junkies, better than anything NPR, better than Trumps tweets, better than some 22nd ranked "Girls Next Level" podcast where I'm sure they talk about sexy girl things. The Draft Daddies officially have their own Podcast ran by the ASS himself. First Episode coming out next week. Be on the lookout. Its gonna be hot.

3. DRAFT DAY

   1. Draft Day will be September 3rd at Aaron Zych's house starting at 3pm- 1617 E Southern Ave Indianapolis, IN

      1. Please complete the Pre-Season form on the main page! It will be super helpful to know who is being involved in what. 

   2. We will have a PRE DRAFT Scramble at Sarah Shank Golf Course which is right next to Aaron's house. Just makes sense. If you suck at golf, at least you can get drunk with the daddies. That's a f****** privilege right there. - 2607 S Keystone Ave, Indianapolis, IN 46203

   3. We will have a POST DRAFT Party. Some drinks. Some games. Some Daddies. You can even bring yo Mommas. More info in the upcoming Podcast

   4. League Dues are $40

      1. Just deal with it. Don't be a little b**** and complain about it. You have jobs and big boy money. If not, well go ho yourself out and figure it out. Or believe in yourself enough to think you'll win and get it all back. Send the venmo and move on with your life.

         1. $35 of it will go towards the league. $5 will go towards food and other things for draft day and awards at the end of the year

            1. $270 for 1st

            2. $100 for 2nd

            3. $50 for Most Points*

               1. * You can't win two prizes

Props if you're still reading this. I need to go home and have a drink. You do too. You deserve one. You DADDY. I F****** LOVE YOU ALL.

• - Commish <3