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Boundaries
Personal boundaries are the lines that we draw for ourselves in terms of our level of comfort around others. Boundaries will look different depending on which situation you're in. For example, your boundaries in your personal life may look different from your boundaries in your professional or school life. The goal of boundaries is to protect our social, emotional, and physical well-being.
Boundaries can help us to feel more comfortable navigating life and relationships! While not everyone will like or understand your boundaries or your reasons for setting them, you can find comfort in your needs being communicated for healthy interactions.
Types of Boundaries
Physical - Personal space of ourselves & our possessions
Emotional - Interactions with others, intimacy, the emotions we share.
Social - Dealing with others in social situations.
Mental - Thoughts & beliefs we allow ourselves to have and share
Material - The types of possessions we have, how we handle & share them
How to Set Boundaries
While these won't work in every situation, here are some tips on how to get started setting boundaries.
Clearly identify your needs and limits, and how these conditions affect your quality of life and relationships
Be direct and polite in expressing your boundary. You don’t have to apologize or over-explain yourself!
Stay firm and stick to your boundaries. You may have to remind others of your boundaries and set new boundaries as your relationships evolve.
Practice self-care to prioritize your well-being
Why can it be so hard to set boundaries?
Sometimes it is easy to believe that you are less worthy than others, and that your needs are less deserving of attention.
While it is good to be compassionate to others, it is not good when it comes at the expense of your own well-being.
Boundaries are not about being mean or unkind, but about respecting your needs and wants.
Important!: No one has the right to tread on your boundaries!
References
Allred, T. (n.d.). How to Set Boundaries: A Better Approach in 10 Steps. Roots Relational Therapy. https://www.rootsrelationaltherapy.com/blogs-for-better-relationships/how-to-set-boundaries-a-better-approach-in-10-steps
Australia Counseling. (n.d.). Boundaries: Definition, Types, and How to Set Them Up?. Australia Counseling. https://www.australiacounselling.com.au/boundaries-definition-types-and-how-to-set-them-up/
Juby, B., & Campbell, L. (2023, April 26). Why Personal Boundaries are Important and How to Set Them. PsychCentral. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/what-are-personal-boundaries-how-do-i-get-some
Martin, S. (2016, May 22). 10 Steps to Setting Healthy Boundaries. PsychCentral. https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2016/05/10-steps-to-setting-healthy-boundaries
Psychology Today. (n.d.). Boundaries. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/boundaries
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