Pam R. Johnson Davis

Breaking the cycle

Won't feel good

You will not be a hero

Or a martyr

You will often be alone

There will be whispers

You'll want to whisper back

To defend yourself

To prove that you're right

To have someone, anyone

Acknowledge that your truth is real,

That your experience happened,

That your pain is valid

But be careful.

In that defense of yourself,

the same web that trapped you before

Will try to weave you back in

Until you cannot see where you begin and it ends

But it does. End that is.

With you.

It will be hard

To watch that web from afar

You will remember that tree

And how each silken line was drawn

You will know the patterns that came before you

Because you will carry the memory in your body

And the routes each secret strand takes

Even the dangerous parts - you'll long for them

Because at least then, you are part of the ecosystem

You will almost sacrifice yourself

To return to the familiarity of what you knew

Because what you're building now,

There is no blueprint

And it is isolating to know that

But you're breaking the cycle

So you'll keep making new silk