The gray couch in my living room. My parents and my brother. The devastating news I knew was coming before they even spoke. “We’ve decided to take the job,” my mom said. Then I fully grasp what that meant. I have to move, and to Connecticut of all places. I lived in Illinois since I was two. Everything I could ever remember was there and now I have to leave. I have to move away from all of my friends and the people I’ve known since kindergarten. This was the most earth-shattering news of my life, and to make it worse, I had to keep it a secret for weeks. Knowing that I had some of my biggest news ever, but I couldn’t tell anyone, was almost impossible to handle. Not only did I have to move, but I also had to start a new school. I was so nervous to make new friends and meet new people. I had never had to do this before so it was really nerve-racking.

The first day of school arrived. Entirely new people, places, teachers, classrooms, carpets, walls, and smells. What do I do? None of my friends are here. I have no clue where I’m supposed to be or go. Then I’m told to go to this thing called the SPAC, which sounds scary. Then, it’s lunch. I have zero clue what to do. How to get food, what food is even good, and I’m surrounded by a sea of people. I don’t remember much of what happened after that, but I do remember the feeling of loneliness during lunch. 

The year went on. That loneliness was subdued; however, it was still there. It was around winter break that I realized how much it had affected me. Being around family made me realize that I didn’t have these kinds of interactions at school. I missed the interactions that I was able to have with friends at my old school. I missed not only my friends but the small, everyday interactions that I would have with them. I hated being the new kid. I hated that being new reset everything and I had to start over from the beginning. It was so difficult and I didn’t even have my friends to talk to about it. 

As I look back on this year, I think about what helped me conquer the feeling of loneliness. What really helped me to make friends was playing basketball, specifically in the gym during lunch. Even if I didn’t know any of the people I was playing with, being on a team made it so that I could get to know people better. And slowly the friends that I made playing basketball helped me make new friends with other people who might not have even been interested in basketball. Eventually, I was able to become friends with people who I can laugh with and talk with. 

However, it wasn’t until after making friends that I had a realization. Lying in bed, during that moment where you are trying to fall asleep and you are just left with your thoughts, I looked back at my year and thought, what if being the new kid was helpful? What if being the new kid helped me be more outgoing and more open to new people and new things? What if being the new kid made me the best version of myself? Being the new kid gave me the chance to be in an entirely different place with completely new people, essentially as a refresh. Being the new kid pushed me from my comfort zone, and usually, that isn’t a bad thing. It helped me grow and realize that change is really difficult, but also provides tons of new opportunities that would have otherwise been unattainable. These changes can be crucial in growing as a person, pushing you further than you would have otherwise gone. Being the new kid has also helped me empathize with the new kid. Being the new kid is hard, and now I can understand how hard it is. I can better understand how the new kids feel and hopefully make them feel more welcome. So next time you see someone who is in an entirely new environment, try and understand what they are going through and hopefully you can make them realize that change and being new might be good.