As a kid, I was fearless, independent, with no worry in the world. This all changed one night at a frozen yogurt shop. When I was in first grade, my mom took my brother and me out for celebratory frozen yogurt. I filled my cup to overflowing with yogurt, brownie bites, fudge, and Oreos. I carefully avoided the nuts knowing I had an allergy to peanuts. As I devoured the delicious treat, my throat began to feel tight. I knew something was off, but I didn’t say anything to avoid a terrifying trip to the hospital. Within minutes, my face was covered in hives and I was chasing the air to breathe. The next five minutes were a stressful blur. I was in anaphylactic shock. I remember the darkness and stress that overwhelmed the hospital and the people in it. After treatment, I was sent home, exhausted and ready to go to bed. 

The next morning I felt well enough to go to school like any normal school day. At lunch, my friend offered me a piece of a Hershey bar. Without thinking, I gladly accepted it and began to eat. As I swallowed the chocolate, anxiety rose throughout my body and recreated the same feeling I had the night before. That piece of chocolate altered my life for the next year. From that moment on, I stopped eating any non-packaged food. This had an extensive effect on my life. I lost a momentous amount of weight, energy, and the person I used to be. My allergies became the villain in my life. 

After a few months, I was put in therapy to get back to who I used to be. I was uncooperative because I knew it meant facing my fear, and that horrified me. The process had just begun and it was bound to get harder; I struggled to remember the benefits of becoming healthier and mending my relationship with food, but I placed my trust in my parents and therapist. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, [and] difficulty.” 

After a year full of challenges I recovered my health by returning to my original diet. However, I never felt like I was 100%. I never regained the courage and confidence I once had, I only became more insecure and anxious. In therapy, I learned one technique to help with this, butterfly taps. To use this, you cross your hands over your chest. As you inhale and exhale tap on both your shoulders and think about the things causing you stress. This strategy has helped me through many events in my life. A few months ago, I faced one of my biggest fears, singing solo on stage. I vividly remember the stress building up hours and seconds before performing. It felt similar to the fear I used to have of food. I thought to myself, what if I forget my lines or my voice cracks? I used the butterfly taps and the same growth mindset to calm down, and I did it. 

My anxiety surrounding food got the best of me and negatively affected my life, but it taught me that I shouldn't alter my life to avoid fear, but instead collect my thoughts, trust the ones I love, and face them. I ask myself, is the worst-case scenario worth risking something I need or love? When dealing with my allergies, my health was at stake and I risked it until I faced my fear, but I haven't let fear stop me since. The difficulties, and pain I experienced to reach my goal were all worth it.