To quote Beyoncé, “[A]ll the single ladies/ All the single ladies/  now put your hands up”. For those who are wondering, I am talking about my mom. Ever since my mom was young, she had dreamed of having kids but she struggled to find “the one”. After years of trying to find a husband, she eventually got tired of waiting and had me and my sister through IVF.

When I was young it was hard for me to grasp the fact most kids have two parents, not just one. Once I got to preschool I quickly realized the majority of families consisted of a mom and a dad. My mom was worried about how I might feel about having a different family, so she bought the noted  Families are Different book, which helped me feel my family was cool. I would tell everyone in preschool. Some kids didn’t care, some agreed that it was cool, and some kids just didn’t understand. One time I was having a playdate with my then-best friend, Blake. She was asking me about my father and where he was. I responded simply saying I didn't have one. Being confused she said, “So you’re adopted. ” I said no feeling like I had to explain myself but not having the words.  “You have a dad then,” she said. This back and forth went on for a while before I gave up and agreed with her I was adopted. This was very frustrating to me because, in my little mind, I was just made without a dad. I now know that's not possible. 

Recently, I was helping my friend that had an assignment to interview a person in Spanish about their family. One question was what does your father do for work? I said he was a banker but deep down I knew I was talking about a different kind of bank. Many things like this happened in my life, and I had difficulty explaining my situation which was often frustrating and confusing. This would sometimes make me wish for a Dad. At one point, I wanted a Dad so badly that my sister and I tried to set my mom up with my Grandmother’s Caretaker, Scout. This did not work given that he was happily married to his husband.  I remember being little and wishing on all the striped rocks, and 11:11s that I would get a dad. But now that I am older I realize, even though I missed out on the father-daughter dances, and Father’s Day activities, that not having a Dad comes with many benefits.  I never had to hear my parents fight, kiss, or be told to ask the other parent.  I can make the best dad jokes and always get a good laugh with my friend, Caroline. I learned it's okay to be different, and if everyone had the same things and the same experiences, the world would be boring, and uneventful.  

While I sometimes didn’t appreciate my mom’s single status, I have always valued her as my mom. My mom is always there for me and supports me in everything I do. She has the talent to make everything work out even when it shouldn’t. She thinks about every detail and always does what is best for us. Many kids grow up saying, “I'm not going to treat my kids like that”  but I’ve never thought this. She puts her best into everything she does, including being the only parent I need, and I know she will love me no matter what. For those reasons, I would like to thank her for everything she does and for not putting a ring on it.