Taking Turns & Emotions

Tips for Playing Games with Young Children

If your child struggles with turn taking, keep the games simple so that the focus can be on turn taking rather than remembering and following the rules of the game.
It’s best to start with just two people taking turns and then move up to three. It can be hard for young children to wait as four or more people take turns.
Use simple phrases with hand gestures, such as my turn (touch your chest) and your turn (touch their arm or shoulder). We want children to start using such language when playing. If your child does not initiate his or her turn, you can ask, “Whose turn?” as a prompt.
An adult may need to maintain control over the materials OR put materials in a container to be passed back and forth.
Keep it short and sweet. If you see your child is losing attention or patience, tell them “One more turn” and then end on a positive note.

Simple Games to Play Together

There's more to games than board games! In fact, many young children are not yet ready to play board games. Turn these play activities into games by taking turns and playing together.

Marble maze: Build the maze together but then have just one marble available for turn taking.

Ball play: Roll/kick/throw the ball back and forth, toss into a laundry hamper

Is catching hard? Try a balloon instead!

Blowing bubbles: A adult should hold the bubbles while the bubble wand gets passed back and forth

Stacking blocks: You stack one, then I stack one

Coloring: Take turns with colors or making simple marks

Playing instruments

Tag

Hide-and-seek

Play-dough: Take turns giving ideas on what to make

Vehicles: Take turns pushing cars down a ramp or racing cars

Puzzles: Take turns putting pieces in or do a big floor puzzle together! Make sure everyone gets pieces.

Videos to Watch With Your Kids

Two Headed Monster Shows How to Take Turns

Daniel Tiger Shows How to Take Turns

Song: "You Can Take a Turn & Then I'll Get It Back"

Sesame Street: Learning to Take Turns

Videos for Parents

When a Child's Emotions Spike, How Can a Parent Find Their Best Self? | KQEDIt's easy to be triggered when a child's emotions run high. But by observing and understanding emotions, parents can take a deep breath and try to replace “fight or flight” with “stay and help."

Strategies for Teaching Kids Self-Regulation | Parenting Tips & Advice | PBS KIDS for ParentsWhen we give children the self-regulation strategies to stay calm in stressful situations, they are also developing strong habits for staying in control in the future. Learn more on PBS KIDS for Parents.

Self-Regulation & Young Children

adapted from Promoting Self-Regulation in the First Five Years: A Practice Brief

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/opre/research/project/toxic-stress-and-self-regulation-reports

What does self-regulation look like during early childhood?

Self-regulation skills and capacity change considerably over the first five years of life, based in part on cognitive and motor skill development. Here are examples of self-regulation skills that children might be ready for, by developmental age group.

In toddlerhood:

Focusing attention for short periods
Adjusting behavior to achieve goals
Beginning to label feelings
Briefly delaying gratification
Turning to adults for help with strong feelings

In preschool-aged children:

Recognizing a growing array of feelings in self and others
Identifying solutions to simple problems
With support, using strategies like deep breaths and self-talk to calm down
Focusing attention and persisting on difficult tasks for increased lengths of time
Perspective-taking and early empathy

Toddlers are beginning to build motor and language skills that allow them to control some aspects of their environment, like moving away from a loud noise or asking for something to eat. They continue to have strong emotions that far outweigh these emerging skills, however. In this developmental period, caregivers can begin to purposely teach and model skills like waiting (i.e., brief delay of gratification) and using simple words to communicate feelings and needs. Adults are still largely responsible for structuring a safe and manageable environment, as well as for providing comfort and reassurance when toddlers are upset.

During the preschool years, children experience rapid growth in areas of the brain associated with self-regulation, which makes them developmentally much more prepared to learn and use self-regulation skills. Likewise, growing language skills during the preschool years allow children to use words in managing their thoughts and feelings and asking for help. This is the perfect time for caregivers to actively teach and coach skills like emotion identification, problem-solving, perspective-taking, and calm-down strategies. Children will need considerable repetition, prompting, and practice in using these new skills. Caregiver modeling of these skills is also important, as children watch adults closely to learn how they should behave. Co-regulation in this stage will include teaching and communicating clear rules and expectations and using consistent natural or logical consequences provided firmly but calmly. As in earlier developmental periods, preschool children continue to need structured, predictable environments and warm, responsive caregivers that provide them a supportive context in which to practice new skills.

Stay-Calm_Infographic.pdf

Stay-Calm_Infographic_SP.pdf

Calm-Down_Poster_EN.pdf

Calm-Down_Poster_SP.pdf

In this story, Tucker Turtle teaches us the "Turtle Technique" for stopping and thinking.

TuckerTurtle_Story_Home.pdf

TuckerTurtle_Story_Home_SP.pdf

Videos about Being Calm

Kids Yoga

Canciones y videos sobre emociones

Understanding and Labeling Emotions

These handouts discuss ways to help your child recognize and understand emotions. It's a great idea to talk about feelings frequently with your child, including when they're feeling calm. Being able to recognize and label emotions is a lifelong skill. These handouts are from the NCPMI website.

Feelings-rotated.pdf

Help Your Child Learn to Label Feelings

In order to understand emotions, a child must first learn to label and recognize their feelings. We can help children learn to identify and label feelings by:

Talking about our own feelings throughout the day- For example you may greet your child in the morning by saying something like. "Good morning! I feel so happy to see you." Another example may be when you feel frustrated because you have misplaced an item, you may say something like, "I feel really frustrated when I can't find my..."
Labeling the feelings you observe in your child - When you observe your child having an emotion (or several at one time) try saying something like, "I can see that you are feeling mad about..." or "I can see that you are feeling happy that...", etc.
Labeling feelings in books, magazines, shows, or in the community: "Look at Pete the Cat, he feels really happy about his white shoes!" or "That ladybug is really grouchy (grumpy, mad)."

BackpackConnection_emotions_label_SP.pdf

BackpackConnection_emotions_label.pdf

Where do we feel our emotions?

Have you ever noticed that when you're mad, your hands might tighten into fists? Or when you're excited, you might get wiggles in your feet? Maybe when you're tired, your eyelids feel heavy. Or if you're nervous, your stomach feels funny. As we talk about emotions and how to identify them, you can talk to your children about recognizing emotions in their own body.

A fun activity to explore this is to trace your child's body in chalk outside. You can talk about all the body parts, and think about what might happen to each body part when you're feeling a certain emotion.

This is a great activity for WHERE questions. When we say "Where," we mean a location. In this activity, that location within the body can be more concrete when your child sees the place on the chalk drawing. Make sure you help them make the connection from the location on the chalk drawing back to the matching location on their own body.

If your child is working on their motor skills, this is a great activity for targeting those as well!

If you need help getting ahold of sidewalk chalk, please let us know.

Dealing with Emotions

Watch this video showing elementary school children dealing with complex emotions. They do a great job talking about what they're feeling when they experience a strong emotion. And they have great advice for what to do when they're having strong feelings. The ability to talk about and handle emotions like these children is the goal we have in mind when we talk about emotions at PEEP.