All Quiet on the Best Western Front

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1. Increase

Wonderful Counselor

Eternal Father forever more

Mighty God, Prince of Peace,

There'll be no end to His reign's increase

Written: December 2010.

Recorded: December 20 and 21, 2010. Vocals redone on July 20, 2011.

See Isaiah 9:6.

2. Caffeine click here to listen at SoundCloud.com click here for the YouTube "video"

I want to be clean, my Jesus.

I want to be caffeine.

I want to be caffeine clean, Jesus.

I want to get up about being clean.

Written: November 27 and December 6, 2007.

Recorded: July 15 and 20, 2010

This is my prayer that I would live righteously before God--and have excitement (caffeine, metaphorically) about living righteously.

I jotted the lyrics and simple tune down in 2007 and came back to it two-and-a-half years later. As I recorded each instrument, the song blossomed into one of my very favorite moron songs.

3. Grave Flowers click here to listen at SoundCloud.com click here for the YouTube "video"

Flowers on the grave, tell me whom they're for. Can't be for the buried 'cuz he can't smell no more.

Flowers on the grave, I don't see the fuss. As a flower so man flourishes, round trip dust to dust.

Flowers on the grave, tell me what they do. Can't be for the expired cuz his time on earth is through.

Flowers on the grave can't beautify your doom. Get the can of spray paint for your empty whitewashed tomb.

Flowers on the grave, tell me why you bother. You can't bless the dead guy, you can't bribe the Father.

Flowers on the grave don't bring the dead reward. Die once then the judgment--floral arrangements don't get scored.

Flowers on the grave--keep them for YOURself. Put them in a vase and stick them on YOUR shelf.

If you have some flowers, don't put them on my grave. Don't light no candles neither--naught else but Christ can save.

Written: September and October 2001; February 2012.

Recorded: February 29 and into March 1; March 3 and into March 4, 2012. Much more often that not, moron records late at night when everyone else is asleep and the house is quiet; "...and into..." means that the recording session tarried beyond the midnight hour.

See Psalm 103:15 and Hebrews 9:27.

I knew that I had a great idea for a moron song, despite my wife's objections that I would be offending--well--just about everybody who has a loved one RIPing under flowers in a cemetery. But, hey, I'm simply pointing out the obvious....Anyway, the first version of the melody and production was kind of lame and goofy. I came back to the song a few months later, and this gem exploded. It has become another one of my very favorite moron songs....I had a lot of fun singing it. The vocal antics at the end were completely unplanned; they came out of the worship of the moment. And they still lead me to worship Jesus. Jesus is the answer; there is nothing else.

4. Not a Cuss Word click here to listen at SoundCloud.com click here for the YouTube "video"

Born of a virgin, baptized in the Jordan, tempted in the desert, Healer of the lepers.

Turned over the tables in the house of my Father. Got crucified, died, and rose again to save you from the scoffer.

And my name is Jesus Christ.

I am not a cuss word. I am not a cuss word, am I? I am not a cuss word. I am not a cuss word, am I?

My name is Jesus Christ.

Written by Michael Knott and performed by Lifesavers Underground on their 1991 album "This is the Healing".

Recorded by moron (with new melody and musical concept) on May 24 and into May 25; and on May 27, 2012.

I had previously recorded a version of this song in September 2010 and April 2011, a version that was more or less in the ballpark with LSU's version. I thought that first moron version was okay, but I knew that it needed something else. Then, just days before going out to Colorado to mix the record, I completely scrapped the old version and started again. Humanly speaking, this sweet and bouncy tune came out of nowhere. I was and am amazed at its elements--even the harpsichord is just the right voice as the solo riff....I am grateful to God for such a beautiful cover of a great Michael Knott song. All moron covers on prior CDs suffer from lack of creativity and my lousy singing, but this song--FINALLY--nailed it right. In fact, I liked it so much that I scrapped three other covers that I had recorded and was planning to include on this CD ("Always on My Mind"--with altered lyrics to be the words of regret of a post-abortive mother, "Bee Hoping" by Joy Electric, and "Unseen Warrior" by Michael Card) because they (my versions of them) did not hold a candle to this song and production.

"Always on My Mind" and "Unseen Warrior" are recorded but not mixed down; they did not make it to Colorado. "Bee Hoping" did make it to Colorado; it was mixed, and I have a version on an unmastered proof disc. Doug liked my version of "Bee Hoping" and said that he was sad that I was scrapping it.

I am indebted to Michael Knott for allowing me to record his brilliant song. Used by permission and under license.

5. Burger

My baby was a burger in a brown Boise barn. Started as cattle on an Idaho farm.

I had a cow sandwich with pickle and bun. Became my body then became my son.

(Now let's see about verse number 2, y'all.)

My baby was a burger in a brown Boise barn. Fenced, fed, and fattened on a fine family farm.

McD's Big Mac burger on a sesame seed bun. Became my body then became my son.

You are what you eat, you eat what you'll be. Your recycled atoms become progeny.

Your skin flakes, your spit sprays, your hair falls out too. Absorbed in the soil, grows cow feed...then you. La la...

(Get on the bus, Gus, we're starting verse 3, y'all.)

My burger is 5 now, and he goes to school. I try to teach him this anatomical rule.

Take care what you eat, yes, but this understand: the thoughts of the heart are that which defileth the man.

Written: January, June, July 2010

Recorded: July 12, 14, 15, and 20, 2010

See Mark 7:14 - 23.

One of the many hazards of daytime open mic recording (which I don't do very often) at my house: birdies tweeting outside the window. C'est la vie. (Or, to mix my French and Spanish: C'est l'ave.) Who knows why, but I did not notice the tweeting birdies until I was mixing the record at 9250AV with Doug. At first, I was like, "How can we hear birds tweeting inside this great sound studio?" Then I figured it out. Doug probably could have washed them out sonically, but I said to keep them. moron is as moron does.

6. Fruity

I want to bear some fruit. I wanna bring You glory

Drop kick my old man, end the same old story.

I want to bear some fruit. I wanna prune all the rottens

All the bad branches, burned and forgotten.

[Bridge] Fruity, fruity, oh to be fruity. B-b-b-bearing Godly fruit is my duty.

Fruity, fruity, fruity. Fruity, fruity, fruity....Oy!

I wanna bear some fruit. Gonna work, gonna grapple.

Just wanna hear my Savior say, "How 'bout them apples?"

Written: May 29 and 31; June 2, 2011

Recorded: June 2, 3, and 5, 2011

I have notebooks where I jot down song ideas, and each song that gels into a whole is officially written up on a sheet of lined paper. The official write-up of "Fruity", which took place on June 2, 2011, has the following note at the top: "99% certain album title." In my notebook just 20 days later in bold handwritten print is: "Next moron album title: All Quiet on the Best Western Front". Before "Fruity", the planned album title was "Band of Destroying Anglos". In fact, "Band of Destroying Anglos" is what was listed on this website for more than a year as the title of the upcoming album.

7. Sick (click here to listen at SoundCloud.com)

You make me sick so I can get better. You make me hurt so I can recover.

You may me ill so I can get better. You bring me harm so I can recover.

God, You knock me down so I can get up. You keep me under pressure so I won't let up.

You knock me out so I can wake up. You keep the pressure on me so I won't let up.

[Bridge] Sticks and stones may break my bones. Thy rod Thy staff--my comfort zone.

Stones and sticks my bones may break. In Thy rod Thy staff I comfort take.

God, You bring me to pain so I can find healing. You empty me out and then You start filling.

Written: July 27, August 6 and 10, 2011

Recorded: August 21, September 3, 13 into 14, 18, and 25, 2001

This song is NOT a theological treatise. It is a very specific statement about very specific incidents where God worked in my life.

8. Band of Destroying Anglos

All the blacks and all the poor infest our nation shore to shore.

We'll band together, play a tune of Aryan nation coming soon...of Aryan nation coming soon.

We started on our noble cause before the Wizard came to Oz

We won't stop now not even pause, won't even permit a conscience clause....We're so adept with steel claws.

[Bridge] We're the band of destroying anglos. We dance the D & X fandango

With Margaret as our lead Sanger, we'll kill 'em all from L.A. to Bangor.

Margie's band is a choir now. Roe v. Wade is one reason how.

Abandoned Hippocratic vow. Sold out clinics is their cash cow....Tax-paid murder is their cash cow.

Press reviews are always glowing. Politicians--hot air blowing.

Doctors' pockets--money stowing. Black mothers no longer showing....Their little babies are no longer growing.

Written: October 24, 2009 (with minor changes on 11/2/09 and 7/12/10)

Recorded: July 19, 20, and 21, 2010

I am donating this song royalty-free to Planned Parenthood. They may use it as often as they wish, without charge, as their new national anthem.

The title of the song is "inspired" by, but thematically unrelated to, Psalm 78:49, which mentions a "band of destroying angels." When I read that verse and twisted "angels" into "anglos", I knew that a moron song was born. And for more than a year, "Band of Destroying Anglos" was the intended album title.

Verse 1--The racial basis for the founding of Planned Parenthood (originally called the American Birth Control League) is beyond doubt--so very well documented. And the facts that the vast majority of abortion clinics are located today in and near inner cities and that a lopsided proportion of clients "served" are people of color suggest that Planned Parenthood's institutional racism is stronger than ever.

Verse 2--Margaret Sanger founded the American Birth Control League in 1921, before 1939, when the Wizard of Oz came to the movie screen....Pro-abortion activists oppose medical personnel having the right to opt out of abortion due to objections of conscience...."Steel claws" refer to the tools of the abortionist.

Bridge--D&X is a type of abortion....Margaret is the lead Sanger...ha ha ha.

Verse 3--Margaret Sanger's relatively small organization that, for a while, existed on the fringes of society is now an organization that takes in more than one billion dollars per year, about a third of which comes from the government (i.e., from taxpayers). This is according to PP's own annual reports, which you can find online. The latest one that I've seen is for the year 2009.

Verse 4--The rate of abortion is 3 times higher among African American mothers than among white mothers in the U.S.

9. Quiet click here to listen at SoundCloud.com click here for the YouTube "video"

What I thought and hoped I'd hear

Was met with silence blunt.

Where's the cry from Gideon?

All quiet at the front.

Written: May 22, 2012

Recorded: May 22 and 23 into 24, 2012

So...for a relatively long time, I knew that the album title would be "All Quiet on the Best Western Front." I had written a title track but did not record it, as I wasn't very happy with its heavy-handedness, maybe....Just days before my appointment in Colorado to mix the record, this pleasant, unassuming piece came into being.

Many different but related thoughts--some specific, some general--come to mind when I listen to this song: essentially, this song and the album title refer to the insufficient amount of Biblical prayer on the front lines of the abortion battle.

10. Psalm 66:20

You have not turned away my prayer

Nor Your mercy from me.

Written: October 30, 2008

Recorded: January 17, 21, and 23; April 9, 2011

11. Back to Egypt

You delivered me from slavery, but I still wanna go back to Egypt.

Choosing bondage over bravery, I wanna go back to Egypt.

Living water from the Rock flows, but still I thirst for Egypt.

In Your righteousness I am clothed, but I still wanna dress up for Egypt.

On the journey to the Promised Land, I still walk back toward Egypt.

I can see the shores of the Jordan, but still I look back to Egypt.

Written: September 18 and October 30, 2011

Recorded: October 30 and November 8, 2011

Thanks be to God, the more I listen to this song the more I like it. Lyrically, metaphorically, personally, it's right on. Very simple, yes, like all moron songs, but with a simply pleasurable bass line and other components. I wanted to put this song near the top of the order, but its mood didn't fit the mood of the first half of the album, so this song was relegated to #11.

12. Love Rain

Don't give up. Don't give in. Take a step toward Him.

Dry as bones, you want out. Love came down; so, cry out.

Love, rain down!

Don't give up. Don't give in. Take a step toward Him.

Dry as bones, you want out. Love came down. To Him cry out.

Love, rain down!

Written: February 24, 2011

Recorded: February 26, 27; March 1, 3; and July 20, 2011

13. Gold (click here to listen at SoundCloud.com)

Sometimes I lay up my treasure where rust and moth consume.

Sometimes this temple of the Spirit is just a white-washed tomb.

But, Jesus, You're worth more than gold.

And this kingdom that I built up is conquered in one day.

And the castle I erected on the sand is washed away.

But, Jesus, You're worth more than gold.

Nothing I desire compares to You.

Nothing in this world compares to You.

Time to give up earthly longings and turn to follow You.

Time to set my eyes and heart on what's pure and what's true.

'Cuz, Jesus, You're worth more than gold.

Written: March 20, 2011

Recorded: April 3 and 9, 2011; January 1, 2012

14. Real

You are more real than anything I feel.

Your reality: more real than all the things I see.

All I touch and see and hear: these things to You they don't come near.

Written: December 22, 2010

Recorded: December 22 and 23 and 24, 2010; January 24 and July 20, 2011

15. Free

I don't worry 'bout what you think, don't worry 'bout what you think

Cuz I've been set free free free free free--free free free free free

I'm not bothered by what you say, not bothered by what you say

Cuz I've been set free free free free free--free free free free free

'Though you dredge up real old news or voice displeasure with my views, I'm free

God's Word is my only trust, not man's logic not man's lust, I'm free

I'm not fearful about what you'll do, not fearful about what you'll do

Cuz I've been set free free free free free--free free free free free

Written: October 27 and November 1, 2011

Recorded: November 9 and 12, 2011; March 14 and April 1, 2012

16. Used Up

I think I've used up all the chords. Sharper tunes now duller swords.

Pen, once mighty, dribbles ink. All the chords I've used, I think.

I feel I've written all the songs. Mighty tunes now sing-a-longs.

Tongue, once sharper, dribbles zeal. All the songs I've writ', I feel.

It seems I've spit out all the notes. Roaring lions now bleating goats.

Voice, once frothy, dribbles steam. All the notes I've spit, it seems.

Written: April 21, 2011 (during a power outage at home)

Recorded: April 22, 24, and 25, 2011

This song is full of fake self-pity. Even in my carefully constructed fantasy world where I rock and I matter, there are ups and downs, like this

phony swan song at the end of a long career that never existed in the first place. This song is just moron having nonsense fun at moron's expense.

17. Psalm 84

How blessed are those who dwell in Your house ever singing Your praise (2x)

It would be better to keep Your door than to live with the wicked on the penthouse floor

How blessed are those who dwell in Your house ever singing Your praise (2x)

I'd rather be walkin' on the highway to Zion than be driving in the fast lane on the wide road to dyin'

How blessed are those who dwell in Your house ever singing Your praise (2x)

I'd rather spend just one day in Your court than a thousand outside at a plush resort

How blessed are those who dwell in Your house ever singing Your praise

Written: January 22, 2011

Recorded: April 23 and 25; May 17, 2012

18. YamaKorg Composition

Written:

Recorded: February 5, 2010