The foundation of the Swinger Lifestyle (LS) is:
Respect
Communication
Trust
Maximizing your awareness of expectations will help reduce the chances of regrets.
Only move as fast as the slowest person present.
This page is a collection of various bits on this topic that have caught my attention, which I have collected here. As with curiosity and the cat... (Satisfaction brings me back)...
For a very long time I have been interested in multiple partners. This has usually caused me problems, till I began to get educated. The Internet helped with that a LOT! When I first stumbled onto the whole online Swinger Culture (in the early 90's), I was amazed. Since then it has been quite the journey.
More recently I have become better acquainted with the idea of Polyamory, which is another story.
STD's are usually the first (healthy) question to be concerned about.
Try starting with:
https://www.google.com/search?q=swinger+lifestyle+std
STD Basics (excellent resource) <sfcityclinic.org>
CDC Ref. - <https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm>
Articles
Your Honest-to-God Guide to STDS - Mark Manson - 2011.10.31
New to the Swing Lifestyle?
Here are a few suggestions to help you get started.
The idea of the LS is often misunderstood when approached for the first time. Getting educated is the best way to be successful.
Interactive Sex Questionnaire for Couples ... at: Mojo Upgrade - (Quiz / Test)
Check out the two topics below. Especially the SB.com BBS.
CO = "Clothing Optional"
"Naturist" is the more modern (PC?) term for Nudist.
Don't Forget
Always carry a towel to sit on.
There are probably more of these abroad, but then you have to get there.
Keep in mind that some facilities rule that: "Nude is Required".
Be sure that you understand if the facility is "Lifestyle Friendly"... or not. If you fail to do so, you may get tossed out and banned from the facility.
If a facility bills itself as "Family Friendly", and/or are heavily endorsed by the AANR... you can pretty well bet that Swinger activity will be completely unacceptable. The "carry a towel to sit on" rule is pretty much expected and universal in these facilities.
Swinger Friendly CO Facilities - USA
Freedom Acres - Devore CA ... (Near LA)
http://www.freedomacresresorts.com/
Riverside Ranch Resort - Elmendorf TX ... (Near San Antonio)
Both of the above seem to advertise as both "Naturist & Lifestyle" resorts.
If you have deep pockets, try:
Sea Mountain Lifestyle Resort - Palm Springs, CA
"USA Premier Adults Only Day Spa, Hotel, Club and Nude Resort."
(They also host an event in Las Vegas)
https://www.seamountaininn.com/
Lifestyle Resorts Abroad
Hedonism II - a.k.a. Hedo II - Negril, Jamaica
Desire Experience - Riviera Maya - Mexico (Near Cancun)
"All Inclusive, Adults Only Resort"
(Not sure what the difference is between the two following:)
Riviera Maya Pearl Resort
&
Desire Riviera Maya Resort
"On the exotic beaches of Puerto Morelos"
https://www.desire-experience.com/
Also:
Temptation Cancun Resort - Canun - Mexico
... is managed by the same group.
https://www.temptation-experience.com/
>
This "Group" also sponsors "Lifestyle Cruises".
This show attempts to illustrate what the LS is about. I does a fairly decent job. It is not your everyday kind of "reality", but is can be worth a look. Something fun to explore with your partner, if you are considering the Lifestyle.
You can find episodes to watch online.
That is a good search to start with.
That is the homepage for the show.
These are a few "Safe" (based on my experience) sites where you can find episodes to watch:
The above webs are also full of other "content" that you may find some value in. They all have convenient "Search" boxes you can use.
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"SB.com" is a website / BBS that really opened my eyes to the true meaning of the "Swinger Lifestyle" (or "LS"). I Highly Recommend this web, with these being two of my favorite forums:
That message forum has a lot of knowledge and wisdom from a lot of experienced folks. If you have any interest or curiosity on the subject, that is an excellent resource. The forums I highlight here are excellent places to start. You will find my posts on that BBS under the same "nick": Luv2WaS ... i.e. Love to Watch, and Show.
The message on SB.com is pretty clear early on, and it can get a bit repetitious at times. While the following qualities can be viewed as essential in any relationship, most folks will likely agree that they are especially important if you think you want to try Swinging.
Be in Love with your partner (as a couple, visiting the LS).
Complete Honesty
Total Trust
Know that your partnership is rock solid, and that sharing your partner will only enhance the enjoyment of that.
Excellent Communication
Maintain Respect for Everyone... and Their Limits.
Be mindful of your expectations. ... Just relax, and enjoy the moment.
Trying to force something will usually end in disappointment.
Always: Move at the speed the slowest person is comfortable with.
Never: "Take one for the Team".
While entering into potential Swing Situations, if you only have one rule, this is a good one to use (which dovetails with the one above it).
The #1 Rule in the Swing Lifestyle has to be this:
No means No.
Personally... I approach "Swinging" more from a viewpoint of "Polyamory", and "Compersion", as opposed to recreational "Sport Fucking"... or however you choose to see it. That is just one of many ways to experience the LS.
Poly vs. Swing
Here is a start:
I maintain a profile on a few Swinger sites, but am not quite as active with them these days.
Here are some nuggets I have picked up online, mainly from messages on SB.com that I have read. Most are direct quotes (with occasional minor editing for clarity), that sum up the Swing Lifestyle pretty well.
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Some great observations by a "Newbie"... see the entire post:
Re: Any Newbies have any advice?...'
"... be prepared for the unexpected and don't over react when it happens...and it will...."
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"Just listen. You have two options: Support and Neutrality. Whatever you think your partner is going to say will have little to do with what you are actually going to hear. Stay centered, and accept whatever you hear as their point of view and desire. There is no action you need to take, other than to listen." (ref)
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"Whatever your partner ends up telling you, and no matter how shocking it is, always remember it is just a fantasy. Until there comes a day where you act it out, it will always be just a harmless fantasy. You might be pleasantly surprised and find it a turn-on. You might be disgusted and find it a turn-off. However you feel about it, at least try to listen with a non-judgmental and open mind.
You may not like this particular fantasy much, but there will be other fantasies further down the road, and you may like those, a lot. You want your other half to feel comfortable sharing their fantasies with you, so try not to freak out at them. Always remember that sometimes the most sordid fantasies are a turn-on because of the very fact that they are far removed from reality." (ref)
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The bottom-line is simply this: Play to the comfort level of the least comfortable person, and remember where your primary loyalty lies. Do that and the rest will fall into place.
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The key thing about this experience is allowing yourself to truly have it.
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There is not a lot of room for jealousy or guilt in this Lifestyle.
If that is part of your experience, then perhaps it is not for you.
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"I have a very simple answer to most "I'm on the fence" type questions. The experience will NOT be fulfilling unless all involved are 110% into it. "Passionless", "tentative", "worried" and "unsure" are not words that go well with Lifestyle sex." (ref)
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Swinging is a team sport.
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Q: How often would you say is too often with one couple?
A: On one end of the spectrum you have "once and done" couples who like to constantly seek out new playmates and just play once or maybe twice with the same couple. On the other end you have couples that are exclusive, or nearly so, with just one other couple. Neither one is more right than the other, it's just whatever you feel most comfortable with.
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Swinging will NOT fix anything; it just amplifies whatever is already there, so it makes good things better, and bad things worse.
Most swingers agree on several things:
Never "take one for the team".
Do not bring drama into another couple's life.
You cannot "save" a relationship with swinging.
Cheating is NOT swinging.
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"Swinging is a magnifying glass: It will make a really great relationship even larger, but it will show the small flaws and eventually burn you if the relationship is not rock solid." (ref)
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"The right couple is out there, they can just be hard to locate. Remember how hard it was to find another guy / gal that you connected with? Now try and make that happen but in a four way match. Not easy, but when it does happen, it can be explosive! Just keep looking, and if a couple isn't right, move on... don't waste more time hoping that they might someday be what you want." (ref)
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:-)