santa

Santa

In 2003, I was Santa at the mall. Did you know it's a hazardous job? I got carpal tunnel, or arthritis, or osteo psoriasis, or some such, from picking up kids all day. And it took me more than a decade to recover. But, it's a great job. The kids are great. They're gonna get free stuff. Do you really think they'll be mean to Santa? Parents, on the other hand, occasionally lack a bit. Sometimes, when a parent, typically, but not necessarily, mom, has a kid (normally between 1 and 2 years old) that sees Santa, and gets scared, starts to scream, and has a death grip around mom's neck, the smart moms walk on by - maybe next year will be better. Others, sit the poor kid on Santa' s lap, back up, and say, "Smile" so they can have a picture. The kid doesn't have a chance. There's this blood red creature, with hair in the wrong place, that is surely a cannibal, and the screaming gets worse. I guess it's an unavoidable parental desire to have something with which the kid will be able to blackmail the parents, 15 years later.

So here's me, and my favorite elf.

If you like kids, and are fortunate enough to have a proper beard, I highly recommend it. It was the easiest job I ever applied for. I'd let my beard grow, then went and stood next to the stand, in the middle of the mall. When they saw me, they asked, "Hey do you want a job?" "Sure." "Okay, Monday morning next week."

Well, it was a bit more than that. Had to fill out the application and to a drug test. Seems that with absolutely no future after the 24th, there are lots of folks you would never let your daughter anywhere near that apply. I'd love to do it again, but I just am not willing to risk repeating the injury to my wrists. Knees are still in good shape though. :-)

Edit more: Yes, I've done it again a couple times, but not for an entire season, only for a few days. I now have a proper Santa suit, so I can go to the relatives' preschool parties. The elf, however, is many years past the elf stage -- unfortunately.