Post date: Jan 12, 2020 10:8:45 PM
Our worth as infants is never questioned. That worth has not changed.
In ordinary health we, as infants, are joyously welcomed, loved, appreciated, supported, encouraged, seen, heard, accepted, held...
Our worth being automatically mirrored back to us.
Our need to be seen, heard, accepted, understood, etc. as adults is a symptom of not having experienced enough of that in our infancy, when that is all that mattered. Underlying feelings of worthlessness, shame, lack, not feeling lovable, result from this unmet need. Feelings of worthlessness are the wound from an ill environment that was worthless in providing for our needs as infants. And the time when it was needed is gone. There is no going back. There is no amount of being seen, heard, accepted, understood, etc. as adults that can ever make up for that loss. What can be done is to develop the capacity to feel the sorrow, the grief, the pain of that loss - the loss of what was so needed but not available. Only through grieving this loss can we come to recognize and accept this loss, this wound, and come to recognize our original, innate worth.
There is no such thing as a worthless human (or any other life form). Yet there are countless wounded humans feeling worthless, bad, unlovable, who are wounding others and the planet in their futile, misguided, hurtful attempt to get what what was so needed in our infancy, and now cannot be gotten as our infancy is gone. Instead of seeking what was missed, or getting revenge for what was missed, both which distract from and avoid the pain of loss, the grief needs, eventually, to be acknowledged and felt over time. And as we move towards the bottom of our grief, approaching acceptance, seeking moves towards its end. And as we discover that the pain of loss is made of the love for which we long we love our Self.
#KnowThyself