REVISED PEN PORTRAIT OF KJA FEATHERSTON’S UMPIRING CAREER from Nompere
Midway through the 1966 cricket season, the team I was playing for in the Scunthorpe & District League finally gave up the unequal struggle of trying to raise a side. North Melting Shop (HONEST!) was composed mainly of workers from the huge steelworks – plus myself from the Ordnance Survey, an Insurance Agent, and a couple of farm workers. The shift system meant that, more often than not at least six or seven players were working on Saturdays, so NMS was consigned to the history books.
I had never pulled up any trees as a player anyway; my best score in two seasons I played for them being 31, with a best average of 15.5 and had dropped more catches than I had taken!
For this reason other Clubs were hardly hammering on my door to play for them and strengthen their side –‘weaken’ would have been a more appropriate word. However, a chance meeting with Eddie Clarke, the Secretary of the Scunthorpe & District Umpires Association in our mutual watering hole - the Queen Bess – changed the course of cricketing history forever. “We’re desperately short of umpires Ken why not give it a go?” The fact that he was on his knees and tears were streaming down his face affected me so deeply that I decided to give in to his pleading, and indeed give it a go despite the fact that I was a mere pup of 25! After all, for someone who loves the game, but has very little natural ability, umpiring is the best way to be really involved in the game – always assuming that you have the temperament and ability to stay the course, and enjoy what you are doing.
So, after a crash course in Eddie’s front room on the Laws of the Game which lasted all of three evenings, I was deemed ready to embark on my umpiring career in August 1966, standing with Eddie as my mentor, I might add). My first game was at Winteringham a local derby against Alkborough, and who should be opening the batting but the skipper of my former Club, Ken Riley.
He had joined them after NMS had folded, and was a talented hard hitting batsman with quite a way with words often directed at umpires he disagreed with. Needless to say, he had only scored a few runs when there was an almighty appeal for a caught behind from the whole of the Alkborough side, and who had to give his very first decision against one of his former team mates? No prizes for guessing!
I felt sure that the ball had touched his glove on the way through to the ‘keeper, so I duly raised the finger, only to be met with an amazes look from Mr Riley, who started to rub his forearm vigourously. You are ****ing joking, aren’t you Ken? I’ll ‘ave a lovely bruise on me arm in the morning!
I looked across to my colleague in desperation; all Eddie did was raise his finger to his lips and slowly shake his head from side to side. I took this to mean ‘say nothing and stick to your guns’, so that was just what I did, raising my finger a second time and looking Ken straight in the eye. He finally decided to drag himself off the field, but not without a verbal barrage and crushing comment- “You were no good as a ****ing player, and you’ll be even worse as a ****ing umpire!”
Well, despite that somewhat inauspicious start to my umpiring career, I am about to start my 42nd season in the white coat, and I still enjoy what is, I feel, one of the best hobbies ever invented.
I have stood in around 950 matches of widely differing standards over those years. As well as the Scunthorpe League, I officiated in the Doncaster League for 11 years, before moving to to the Yorkshire Council and the Humber-Don in 1979. There I stayed until the Humber-Don was absorbed into the East Yorkshire Alliance ten years ago, and have been on duty in that League ever since.
I have been fortunate to umpire in two YC play off semi finals, three Bridon Trophy finals, three Circle Cup finals and three St Peters’ School Festivals.
I have in all that time only had to report two players for dissent or foul language pref erring to have a quiet word first in an attempt to defuse any potential unpleasantness, which usually has the desired affect. Mind you, I should have reported Ken Riley for his little outburst, but he was a bit unfortunate – and in my very first match.