Attendees; Boomer, Scruiser, Harps, Daryl, Nob, Freud, Potsy, Beaups, Mowbs, Deano, and Guy.

Absent; Rod, John, Cookie, and Mel

Memories from the weekend;

This year’s installment of AOTW was held in the very picturesque Goderich, situated on Lake Huron. Chairman Zimmerman arranged for us to stay at the historic Hotel Bedford. Joining the Chairman were Leo, Paul, Cruiser, Scotty McCallum, Gary, Floyd, Daryl, Rob, Beaups, and myself. A pretty good turnout.

It was clear from the beginning that Guy had a good time planning and executing this year’s event: a lot of thought and effort had gone into creative swag and communication materials for the weekend. (Even the voting aids were a work of genius.) But perhaps most impressive of all, was the unveiling of a heavily modified, now electrified trophy: the AOTW letters in large block, surrounded by party lights, atop a spherical platform, which in turn was delicately balanced on a toilet plunger (a nod to the existing toilet seat) and, when it was willing, would spin round and round, like a Swiss Chalet rotisserie chicken.

Then there were the T-shirts, where yet more thought and effort went into conceiving and executing the graphics, inspired by something he had seen in a dumpster, with the caption, “Celebrating over 35 years of being held to a lower standard”.

After a quick catch-up family news, career wind downs (or in the case of Paul, now helping business owners with their wind downs), conversation shifted to our latest health ailments which grow more frequent – or simply odd - every year. Case in point would be Beaup’s need to for a genital operation to “carve a little nonsense out.” Apparently, Renee asked the important question, “is there going to be a scar?” And then on the operating table, “The last thing I heard was the older nurse saying to young one, ‘you move his junk.’”

After that sad sack story, the conversation turned to the main event and its viability. Fishing out on the big water was the plan, but serious wave action was expected on Lake Huron, and so enthusiasm was fading.

Over the years, Friday night has been the raunchier, late-night affair, and this year was no different. At 2 am Guy, Paul, Rob, Cruiser, and Daryl, and myself were still vertical. Rob in particular seemed to be on his way to a morning of hurt, as he got more intimate with the bottle of bourbon.

Saturday morning breakfast was buffet style at the hotel. After confirming that fishing was not in the cards, it was decided that a drive to Kincardine for lunch. So the morning was unstructured, with some of us walking to the beach, others cruised the Saturday farmers’ market across from the hotel, eating sugary baked goods, and ogling the “hot” 50 year olds.

The 30 minute drive north was a good outing lunch in the equally picturesque Kincardine at Tartan Tusk, Pub and Eatery. Given that we were in a public space, we were well behaved, keeping things down to a dull roar. On the return trip to Goderich, an impromptu stop was made at Family FunLand, where a few of us (Paul, Floyd, Harps, Rob) donned helmets and jumped into some go carts. The family-oriented nature of the place explained the detuned motors, so our little “race” was a test of finding the ideal “line”, carrying speed into corners, and maintaining momentum. No physical injuries sustained, although Paul’s ego may have been bruised in the process, as he brought up the rear. (Rob was not part of our battle, as he preferred to test his skill against a couple of 12 year olds.)

Upon our return, some of us took a stroll to the beach where Guy’s creative juices continued to flow with a staged photo, which I believe was entitled “cannon dick”. On the way back, we managed to stumble upon a wedding photo shoot. To our surprise, the bride, groom and rest of wedding party were quite taken by us. Not sure if it was our charming personalities or simply good looks, but nonetheless we were asked to join the photo shoot.

Later that night we headed back down to the lakeside for dinner at the old train station. It was a pleasant affair: we had a private room which was conducive quality conversation, working on empathy skills, and furthering personal connections.

Saturday night, as has increasingly become the custom, was a short lived affair. I have nothing to report, owing to the fact that I was one of the earlier crashes and was not about to witness any shenanigans.

Sunday morning was reserved for the time honoured nine holes of golf which was held at the Goderich Sunset golf club. The golf trophy went to Rob, Cruiser, Scott, and Gary who pulled through in playoff putting test against with Paul, Mike, and Daryl.

After a post game burger and beer, it was time for the voting. As we have seen for quite a number of years now, there was no clear faux pa by any attendees, nothing of any substance to really say there was a clear asshole of the weekend. Yet, a decisive “victory” went to Dinesy ( 7 vs. 3 for Cruiser, and 1 for Floyd).

And so we closed out the weekend as we always do with the photo shoot. Thanks to Guy for all the hard work whilst having to put up with the “you could have, should have” and other forms of criticism (“What the fuck am I really getting for my $350?”). But think about it friend, you’re at least you’re off the hook until you’re 70, by which time this annual event may be as simple as 60 minutes of Face Time, owing to our collective inability to be away from the toilet for more that 20 minutes.

Mike

p.s. Even though we now qualify for the Seniors’ discount at Shoppers Drug Mart, it’s good to know we can still enjoy and seek out metaphors for sexual acts, for example this new one liner, “Like a dog at a water dish”

Voting:

Potsy 6

Scruiser 3

Freud 1

Golf Winners

Deano, Scruiser, Dinesy and Nob

Alternate Location:

I have a group of “mates” back in Birmingham who are putting "quite a bit of pressure on me" to bring the AoTW over there this year (so I have to run the numbers and get prices for cap options and plane fare as well!)