Memories from the weekend;

Attendees:

Rod, Leo, Deano, Guy, Harps, Mowbs, Freud, Scuiser, Coney, Halley, Cookie, Potsy and Beaups .

Absent: Nob and Mel (Dean Martin was also absent as Beaps kept watch over Scotty's booze intake)

Best turnout in years!

The ASSHOLE as voted by his peers is Rod for rolling the ATV and hitting a tree, he missed the trailer!

Voting totals:

Hot Rod 5

Paul 3

John 2 (he also rolled his ATV)

Daryl 2

Leo 1

Harps's play by play of the weekend;

With 13 committed assholes – the best turn-out in a long time - the excitement was extra high this year, resulting in a strong showing on what has become the unofficial opening night - Thursday. Or perhaps it was a chance to stay at Collingwood’s Taj Mahal, also known as the Mowbray ski lodge. In any event, Mowbs, Rod, Cruiser (this year’s event director), Floyd, Beaups, Leo, Cookie, Scotty M., Guy, and myself (harps) got the annual event going with a flurry of the usual: personal updates, drinking, junk food, verbal sparring, excessive smoking (of a variety of combustibles), etc. Rod and Paul, who actually started their own little boys weekend on the previous Monday, looked glad to have some new blood join in, not to mention some new victims to sacrifice at the ping pong table. A distracting (or arguably disturbing) video entitled, “Cob Gobbler Extraordinaire” no doubt hurt the concentration of some of the players.

Friday morning it was up early to play golf. A lack of sleep and some fat heads were in evidence, but the fact that maid service would come by to clean it all up was a relief (thx again Mowbs). As to the golf: great course, but I personally did not get my $150 worth, but then I haven’t been happy at golf for years.

After returning briefly to Mowbs to pack and have sausage, it was back into the cars and off we went to Tapatoo Cabins http://www.tapatoo.com/ near Perry Sound. We traveled in a convoy to Highway 400, after which Freud kicked it down a gear and gunned it, leaving some of us slow pokes behind. We all eventually got to the right place. Cookie, who needed a time out from the action and had left before the rest of us on some business, was the first to arrive, thus ensuring a top choice cabin. After some scrambling to secure a room (or a pull out couch if you were too slow), it was down to business. And that meant discussions/predictions about this year’s AOTW. Since Mowbs is such a generous host, there was some very early lobbying to throw votes in his direction, knowing he is a reliable organizer and chances were high we’d end up at one of his various party pads. However, little did we know what fodder the next day would offer up that complicated these early voting alliances.

Gary, Johnny and Daryl showed up after dark, just as the bonfire was getting underway, thanks to the efforts of Floyd and Scotty “the Piro” McCallum who very cleverly pulled dead (dry) branches from trees – I want you on my side when the world slips into chaos, buddy!

Bear Claw ATV Tours http://www.bearclawtours.com/ was the weekend’s Main Event and it did not disappoint. Given our large number, we split into a morning and an afternoon group. First up were Cruiser, Floyd, McCallum, Leo and myself – basically the early risers. As we strapped on our helmets, we had no idea what a hairy morning was in store: Our two guides book ended the five of us, and off we went. “Holy shit” was pretty much all we said or heard for the next three hours as we bashed, crashed, and splashed our way through some shockingly crude trails. We were later rewarded for good behaviour with a 10 minute sprint race around some high speed trails that left us giddy like little boys with a new toy.

When Group 2 arrived on the scene – Mowbs, Rod, Beaups, Daryl, John – we veterans of the sport did out best to impart some advice which seemed to be effective, for the most part: Johnny, though, had an unfortunate (but apparently spectacular) spill after getting his machine airborne. It was Rod, though, who flirted with the law of physics by attempting a donut in the parking lot, resulting in injuries to leg, shoulder, credit card and a spruce tree.

A debrief back at the cabins on all the goings on meant that earlier voting blocks now seemed to be in question as some of the true spirit of the weekend had been served up for consideration, not the usual lame rationale like whose turn it was. Game on!

After some hot tubbing and a handful of Advil, dinner was had on premise. After which, we retired to another bon fire. The sound of the occasional freight train passing close by allowed some of the more stealth-like members to sneak off for a good rest, while the remaining crew hung around for the annual recounting of youthful sexual exploits and the cementing of another new phrase, “Get wet, I’m ready”.

Sunday morning was reserved for another AOTW staple: the golf tournament which was held at the fabulous Seguin Valley Golf Course http://www.teeingitup.com/ontario/seguin-valley.htm. Rain almost shut us out for the first time, but we soldiered on, and sure enough the weather improved. As I write this, the outcome is fuzzy in my mind, partly because it’s now a month since the event but also because I don’t give a shit, as once again I was on a losing team. I think Rod and company won, whoever they were.

Votes were then cast over a final beer and smoke, the results being as follows:

Rod – 5

Paul – 3

John – 2

Daryl – 2

Leo – 1

The incensed “winner” protested loudly but, as there is no mechanism for appeal, had to ultimately accept the outcome, although he did leave without the trophy (a first), explaining that the various injuries sustained during his shunt rendered him unable to carry the sucker.

Thanks again to Cruiser who has set the bar high, and may next year be an equally pleasing gathering of middle-aged assholes now playing the back nine of life.

Photos of the weekend;