Memories from the weekend;

Voting was a landslide victory for our biggest asshole:

Rod - 7, Cookie - 3 , Beaups - 2, Floyd - 1, Dinesy - 1.

The fun started with BBQ lunch Fri at noon , Paul 's house. & assholes dragged themselves off St Georges golf links and met up with rest of 6 guys.

2pm car rally started, for destinations unknown. Many odd things were sighted along the way…the race was on hold for awhile for some well deserved table dancing, lap dancing and beer. At the same time, another racer (Harp's) , was trying to convince Mr Tasty Freeze to sell him a beer, while one team, Rod/Beaups, just pulled up a chair at the closest bar, Tessies, and drank all day. 8 hours later, the last team dragged their tired, sorry, drunk asses into the finish line tavern…The Rockcliffe Hotel in beautiful urban Minden.

While the Boomer/Torpedo team claimed victory in the car rally over the dynamic team of Deano/Dinesey , there were some serious suspicions and allegations of course mismanagement (cheating) which were difficult to prove…but being the good sports that they are, the winning team admitted that they had taken some liberties with the race course,…immediately at the end of the weekend, after the medal ceremony and voting, with the gold medal safely tucked into their luggage.

The AOTW Olympics consisted of 11 events, and the Olympic village was located at lovely Hawk Lake.

We had the car rally, sporting events, drinking events, the poker tournament and the cocktails contest. When all was said and done Gold went to Leo and Mel; Silver to Deano and Dinesey; Bronze to Rod and Beaups.

The assholes had a harrowing ride across the lake at midnight on Friday, due to fog, cold and a finicky boat engine. All troubles washed away with a beer and Floyd made a huge bonfire and sausage BBQ. After 3 hours sleep we were awoken at 7am, by Nob calling from the cockpit of some jet, saying he couldn't make it unless he could parachute in.

Saturday the boys were off to a slow start, hung over, groggy and waiting for someone to make breakfast….and of course, as usual, we had to wait for Cookie to show up. The sporting events began around 11am. The complaints and whining began at 11:10…" do we have to do this?"…"why can't we just sit around and drink? "…."why can't I do this anymore…I used to be good at it". We had a small controversy in the canoe race as the competitive nature took the form of some liberties in race course definition. So we had to repaddle the semi final race. Comic relief was provided by Cookie as he did a 5.9 point split - one foot on the canoe and one foot on the dock….momentarily…followed by a large splash.

Age reared its ugly head again in the beer chug race as men, - who 20 years ago would have lynched a man for wasting a drop of beer, - on this fine day, were content to pour more beer on their scalp than down their gullet. The alphabet belch was one of the better contested events as all participants seemed to have kept that skill intact - unlike horseshoes, archery and basketball , where it appeared as if there has never been any skill level so to speak.

About 4 o'clock, the events weren't finished but the mighty Olympians were, so we took a break from the sporting events and went for a booze cruise around the lake. Narrowly surviving several potential disasters - an extremely loaded boat, filled with fat , drunk, lifejacketless, assholes combined with wind, choppy waters and more booze - it was a recipe for disaster. But the quick witted skipper, sensing the danger, pointed the SS AOTW towards home, cutting the AOTW booze cruise short. Little did the "fearless crew " of 13 drunk men realize that on that "fateful day", they were much luckier than Gilligan. No sooner did the boat nestle up to the dock, when Dinesey waddled onto shore and lost 2 days worth of booze and groceries in a beautiful technicolour yawn, onto the rocks, then promptly slumped over into it - immobilized by alcoholic excess from which he would not recover for 12 hours. Asleep was the best place for him to be…given his propensity to play with axes in a drunken stupor if awake.

Cocktails was an excellently contested event, which all participants benefited from. Followed up by a huge feast - STEAK-a-la-Frued on the barby, with all the fixins.

The poker tournament went till 5am ( I think…it's a bit foggy), when Cookie finally had all our money -$600. As soon as he had tucked it into his wallet, he stood up and announced, "he wanted to go home now."

At the same time, Dinesy finally woke up…just in time to see his $50 slide into Steve's wallet.

Sunday turned into a lounge day…catch up on old news…all the events were over. All that remained was the medal ceremony, the AOTW vote and the golf game. I think Steve left before breakfast…we were fortunate this year…he attended for almost 24 hours.. Breakfast was followed by one foursome canceling out on golf. Then came the crowning of the 2001 AOTW asshole…Roddy…in a well deserved landslide vote, followed by another foursome canceling golf. In his acceptance speech, the Asshole 2001 and his partner continued to whine about north versus east and 1.7 versus 2.7 km….go ask Tessie.

The standard crew of 5 or 6 assholes sat around a cleaned up what was left of the beer till mid afternoon - when there was no more beer to be had - Cruiser announced the end - so we all fucked off home.