The Effects of Growing Up With Separate Families

Amara Valdez- Santa Clara

Amara Valdez SHP- Fall.webm

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This article first tells us about 7.8 million young Americans are living somewhere else other than with their parents. 5.8 million young Americans are living in a household with grandparents and about 2.0 million young Americans are living with another relative. Then it goes on telling me about why the move could have been: physical and emotional health, economic reasons, or could be convenience. A common reason is the passing of a parent or it could be a drug treatment center, a hospital, jail, or a divorce where neither parent was fit to raise the child. The article then says that it’s not the child’s fault for the way things turned out. The topic that was talked about is called “Adjusting to Changes” and is about having feelings. That everyone has feelings and needs to be handled in a manner that doesn’t hurt the relationship of that child. That it’s okay to have negative feelings, but it needs to be released. The child should have a person to talk to without feeling judgement. The child could be feeling apathy. Teenagers could get homesick no matter the circumstances, but everything happens for a reason. The next topic was about having a living space to call their own. Everyone needs privacy. The writer made a reference to trees in a windstorm and said that the trees that bend bounce back and trees that are too rigid break. That the teen is like that windstorm and being flexible means being able to bounce back and reflect. It takes more time to adjust to a new environment, rules, and people. That sometimes working out a compromise is easier to adjust.

Moving In With a Grandparent or Other Relative

“Moving In With a Grandparent or Other Relative.” Teen Health and Wellness, Rosen Publishing Group, Inc., March 2020, teenhealthandwellness.com/article/238/moving-in-with-a-grandparent-or-other-relative. Accessed 18 Sep 2020.

The teen should always have open communication to the caregiver or to anyone he/she trusts. The more changes that teen is going through, to the more stress is put onto him/her. It is possible that the teen can become depressed, so if he/her has a person they can trust, then being able to talk to them freely can relieve some stress. Worrying about the parents can lead to more stress and harder to adapt to change. Sometimes that teen needs to act more of a parent than a teen. That teen is always going to care about their parents no matter what. That teen may feel guilty of what happened and where they ended up, but it is not their fault. Parents could have gotten another job somewhere, and the teen decided to stay because of school or another reason, so they need to stay with their relative. Other times the teen had to leave because of a divorce. That neither of the parents was fit to be raising a child on their own. They don’t have the resources to raise a teen. It could put stress on the teen because they could be stuck in the middle and wish things could be different, leading to depression. If a parent/ parents lose custody they can receive visitation rights to see the child, only if the teen lets them. It is okay for the child not wanting to see them. The next topic is about grieving the loss of a parent. That the stages of grief are normal and takes time. The writer gives information on how to speed the process of grieving. The following topic is about forgiving absent parents. Forgiveness is a way to let go of bottled up anger. That the teen needs to be able to recognize it and let all of it go. A therapist can help the teen through the process. If a teen had troubles growing up with the parent, then a relative can ask if their child can stay with them permanently. If the parents agree, then that relative needs to get an attorney to legally get physical custody. The papers of agreement need to be signed by a lawyer. This is where adoption papers come into play. When they are signed, the judge will cut all ties with the biological parents and the relative will become the teens legal parents. The last topic that was discussed is emancipation. If the teen is about 17 years old, then the judge may declare the teen emancipated.

Custody and Family Court

“Custody and Family Court.” Teen Health and Wellness, Rosen Publishing Group, Inc., March 2020, teenhealthandwellness.com/article/107/custody-and-family-court. Accessed 21 Sep 2020

The first paragraph talks about custody. That divorces and breakups are hard on both parents and children. There is emotional trauma and practical issues the parents must resolve. This involves who will take care of the child and where he/she will live with. Custody is how parenting responsibilities are divided. One major thing is the child’s welfare when parents split up. Any family can get involved in custody cases, and it doesn’t matter what gender. There are different types of custody. According to the Census Bureau about 64 percent of children live with both parents, but about 96 percent of children live with at least one parent. There are two types of custody: legal and physical. The legal custody determines which parent will make decisions about his/her schooling, health care, religion, or other important things. The physical custody determines which parent the child lives with. Depending on the parents separation there is joint or sole custody. Joint custody is when parents both agree to share both legal and physical custody. Both parents make decisions together about the child’s welfare and share general parenting responsibilities. Parents can also decide to share joint custody, but have one parent maintain sole physical custody. Joint legal custody is when parents are responsible for making decisions together about education, religion, and health cases. In order to make this successful the parents must be able to communicate with each other and respect each other’s opinions. There is also joint physical custody meaning the parents share equal share of clothing, housing, and feeding the child. There is an equal amount of time spent with each parent. The parents agree with alternating holidays with the child. There is another unique joint custody called Bird’s Nest Custody. This type of custody arrangement involves one family home and the parents change residencies. Another type of custody is sole. This is where the parents can’t decide on anything and how to raise the child. This is when it is necessary to go to court. Whoever was raising the child most of that child's life will get sole custody of him/her. An absent parent can still get visitation rights even if they never paid for child support. In this case the court can decide who the child will go with. It will be based upon the child’s best interest to live with one parent instead of the other. Custody decisions are never permanent and, under the right circumstances, can be changed. The parent who doesn’t get custody can still receive visitation rights. Visitation usually is not supervised. This can change anytime as long as the parents communicate. Non Biological parents go through the court and usually the court will decide what is the best interest for the child. An act, Visitation Rights Enforcement Act, allows grandparents the right to request visitation rights. There is also a supervised visitation where the court thinks the parent is unfit to take care of the child alone or overnight. A noncustodial parent cannot be denied visitation rights if they are paying for child support, but the parent can suspend the payments. There was an assumption where the mother would always end up with the child when going to court, but the courts try to do everything possible to grant custody objectively to the best-suited parent. If the parents can’t get a compromise or agree on terms, then they can bring a mediator, who is neutral to both parties, and tries to get the parents to come up with an agreement. The mediator can offer suggestions, but cannot impose any decisions on the parents. There are custodial evaluations that can involve the child to speak about the relationships between each parent.There can be home visits to see the environments and how the child behaves with each parent. The evaluator will get in contact with people who have close relationships with the child. When parents go to court there is a background check on each parent. They will take anything into consideration in order to make their final decisions. The court would like to hear the child’s side and his/her concerns or needs. Other times there could be a foster parent involved or a relative what will get custody if the child. This can result in unfit parents meaning they can’t fully support the child. Foster care has guidelines that can define permanency of providing a child with a safe,stable, custodial home, and a place where the child can have a lifelong relationship with his/her guardian. There is adoption for relative and non related foster parents, but still can provide contact from the child’s birth family. The last thing that is talked about is legal emancipation. It means “freedom” and this is meant for youth to gain certain legal rights. This means that the parents are no longer obligated to provide any kind of support for their child.

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