Tips and Thoughts for Moms Stuck at Home

Corona virus has turned our lives upside down! This unique time is a wonderful opportunity to lead your family, serve your spouse, connect with your kids and grow together in faith. I thought of sharing some tips and thoughts in the hopes of encouraging you, fellow moms of young children and co-missionaries, who may be in this stay-at-home stint. My family has been practicing most of the suggestions here; some, we just started to do and a few, we still plan to do. Surely, some days will be amazing, other days will be crazy! So how do we thrive during this time of confinement - keeping the kids entertained and serving your husband while ministering to others as well?

Before anything else, put your gadgets down! You don’t need to read every news from every channel & platform about the virus. For kids who don’t have their own devices, limiting screen time is easier to implement. Either way, set screen time at the minimum or use it as a reward for finishing school work or chores.

1. Create Structure so you can Relax.

Kids thrive on routines. Even my 2 year old remembers the “schedule” his older brothers made for him (read the Bible, match the letters and play blocks) and follows it diligently. Let me briefly share with you how our morning usually starts...When they wake up, bigger kids are expected to read their Bible, spend time in prayer & write in their journal. Then they play while waiting for breakfast. Academic work is done in the morning when they are most alert - usually after breakfast. We’re usually done before lunch & so they have a short free time before we eat. The kids know that this is how our mornings look like. Without this routine, there will always be a struggle between what the kids need to do & what they want to do. It then becomes very stressful. Kids also feel more relaxed if they know what to expect in their day. It might take a few days before everything settles & everybody gets used to the routine, but you will surely experience smooth sailing mornings once established. But we also need to learn to balance structure & spontaneity. On some days, change it up a little. Allow a little disruption especially when your husband is in the mood to wrestle with the kids or he wants to help them create a Lego treehouse.

2. Decide to have Slow Days (with a bit of direction).

Sounds tricky right? But most kids will resort to screens if you give them too much freedom. So, declare a schoolwork-free day (most likely on weekends) but suggest what you can do as a family for some parts of the day! Bring out the board games, card games, puzzles etc. Play with your kids with whatever interests them - Legos, Pokemon, Beyblade...you name it! Movie night! Pizza night! Share in their enjoyment! Be in the moment with your kids in a way you haven’t been able to before. But don’t forget to give them free time to do whatever they like for a certain time. Some kids need alone time too!

3. Work on projects that you’ve put on hold for the longest time.

Gardening, decluttering, learning a new skill, the list goes on! Some may have already been forgotten or buried in our memory! This is the best time to do it since your husband can share in child care. Personal development can also be a productive way of spending your time. You can also include the kids if they are interested.

I´ve been planning to use the popsicles that we have as prayer guides. We just used some colored pens, pompoms, googly eyes & glue...that’s it! Kids designed it & we wrote names of friends or family on each popsicle. Then we pick 1 or 2 popsicles during our prayer time.

Look for art materials & scraps that you already have at home, like egg cartons, core of tissue rolls, shoe boxes etc. Search Pinterest for simple projects that you can do with the kids that will keep their hands busy. Art is always a good idea.

4. Make time to nurture your relationship with your husband & with each of your kids.

This is the best time to encourage the family to nurture their friendship with each other. Have a date night at the dining table or movie night on the couch with your husband when the kids are asleep. Use a guide to help you in your conversations so you can focus on each other and your marriage. Have one-on-one dates with your kids. Ask each of them what they would love to do with Mom or Dad & do that even if it’s just in the bedroom or the living room. Some activities you can do together at home are cooking, baking, reading or photography. Be ready with questions you can ask your kids to get to know them more. Encourage your older kids to also spend time with their younger siblings.

5. Start a new Faith-building habit with your family.

This is the best time to start habits that will create a great impact in our faith individually & as a family. It can be as simple as “Memory Verse of the Week” or as challenging as “Read through the Bible in One Year” together. Ofcourse, you need to choose something that the entire family can participate in (except maybe if you have a baby). Here are some suggestions...

• Family Devotions. Doing daily (or almost daily) devotions can also enrich your child’s faith. You can do it at the dinner table, when you wake up in the morning, during breakfast or before bed. You can follow a devotional or any guide, or you can just simply read Scripture. Find something that works for your family and try to stick with it!

I have embraced it in my heart that I’m in partnership with my husband in discipling our kids. Many of us nag them into doing what they ‘need’ to do as the spiritual leader of our family, and when they are not able to do it, we end up frustrated. Whenever my husband´s home, I am sensitive if he is tired or occupied before I declare “Family Devotion!” which might put him on the spot. I’m happy that my husband has a special bond with our kids wherein he imparts godly wisdom in a unique way. I started devotions with my sons at about the time I found the book “Little Boys Bible Storybook for Mothers and Sons”. It’s like my special bonding time with the kids. So aside from this, my husband has Bible reading time with each of the boys & we also have Family Devotions once a week. Honestly, we are still growing in this area but with God’s help, we hope to make this a priority in our family life.

• Prayer Patterns. A regular prayer time with the family is of utmost importance especially during a time of crisis. A Prayer Pattern is a way of providing guidance to your prayers, a discipline to help you focus. Remember the acronym ACTS we use to pray? (A - adoration, C - confession, T - thanksgiving and S - supplication). We can also adapt this in our family prayer time but with maybe simpler words. You can start with an introductory line and each member of the family finishes the sentence.

Wow God, you are…

I am sorry for…

Please help…

Thank you for…

Try it & see if it makes any difference in your family prayers.

Most importantly, put great value on your alone-time. The ‘quiet time’ I get to have when the kids are having their afternoon nap is valuable to me. It’s the white space in my day. Especially for those of you who suddenly have their kids around the entire day, it will help keep your sanity if you have time in your day to just enjoy the silence & relax (or do whatever you like). My kids are aged 9, 6 and 2 and they all take a nap in the afternoon. The older ones sometimes resist this but even if they decide not to sleep, they are to stay in their room up until the time they are supposed to wake up. Trust me, it makes a lot of difference especially if you have toddlers and school-aged kids who demand a lot of your time. For some, it could be when the kids are in bed at night or a 30-minute break in the morning. Whatever works for you as long as you get that much needed boost to help you get through the day!

If all else fails, think of what you’d like to do and do that instead! When everybody’s cranky, we all just need to chill, let it go and find a way to change the mood! Ultimately, it is to find joy and opportunity in this extra time with your husband & kids. We’ll all get through this with God’s grace & a supportive community. Please don’t hesitate to let us know how we can assist you and your family.

BONUS:

Explore the endless possibilities of starting an online ministry and become a Digital Missionary.

Suddenly, everybody is in front of the screens for most of the day. People of all walks of life and of all ages are glued to their gadgets mindlessly scrolling down and clicking whatever pops out. It is an opportune time to reach out to that friend you haven't talked to for years, to that disciple who now lives in a different time zone, or even that relative you barely know... I´m sure more people will come to mind. Connect with them, share something about your life, ask how they are & be sensitive to how the Holy Spirit will lead you to minister to this person. Look back on good memories, pray for them & be open to chat again if they want to. Set aside a time each day to connect with people and minister online. It doesn’t have to be long - maybe 15 mins? 30 mins? 1 hour? You decide.

For our family, we have been building the habit of making video calls to some friends & family who are celebrating their birthdays, those who may be going through a difficult time or those who are sick or just about anybody who we think would be encouraged to know that we remember them. Of course, our kids play a big part in this because they are the most entertaining trio. We already challenged Malaya to lead the prayer for the person we called before we ended the convo. Such a small effort but that 5-minute chat might just be the encouragement someone needed at that moment.

We’re thankful that technology allows us to stay connected and effective throughout this crisis. Some tools available for us as we do ministry online are God Tools App & Jesus Film App. You can also check out the Indigitous site for helpful & easy to follow tips about online evangelism, discipleship, prayer meetings & church services.

Undoubtedly, we are in a difficult season, yet the Lord remains in complete control. Let’s make the most of this time and ask God to strengthen our trust in Him. Let us all pray for a miracle. Let us shine brighter in these challenging times especially in our homes.

I hope this will be a great practical help to you! Tell us what suggestion you are most likely to try. Do you have more tips to share with other moms in our community? We would love to hear from you.

Love,
BITUIN
Jesus Follower, Wife of a Leader & Mom of Boys
Digital Strategies PH

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