Peer Pressure
What is peer pressure?
Peers are friends and kids around your age with whom you interact with in some way, whether in school or out in the community. Peer pressure can be negative or positive. When it is positive, it can motivate you and push you to do your best. When it is negative, you may feel that you have to do something to be accepted as part of group or in general.
Examples of negative peer pressure are:
Needing to dress or act a certain way
Feeling forced to excluding people from social activities
Using drugs or alcohol
Engaging in bullying
Shoplifting or stealing
Engaging in sexual activity
How to handle negative peer pressure?
Pay attention to how you feel
If something does feel right about a situation, trust your gut. Even if others around you tell you it's ok, if it doesn't feel right to you then walk away.
Plan on how to avoid peer pressure
Peer pressure can often come as a surprise and being unprepared makes it harder to say no or walk away. Think through sitatuions in which you may feel negative peer pressure and how you can respond to remove yourself from that situation.
Talk to those peer pressuring you
If you feel peer pressure from your friends, talk to them and let them know how it makes you feel and tell them to stop. A true friend will listen to you.
Have a secret code with your parent/guardian or someone you trust
Have a code you can say or text to get you out of a situation. When you send or say the code your parent/caregiver will know to pick you up or tell you to come home.
Give an excuse
While you should be able to say "no" without an explanaton, it can be difficult in the face of peer pressure. If that is the case, then make up an excuse as to why you are unable to partake or to get you out of the situation.
Get support
If you are facing an ongoing situation, talk to a trusted adult and get support. Together you can brainstorm the best way to handle this situation.
How can parents/caregivers help?
Family is important to teens:
Develop a close, open, and honest relationship with your child. They are likely to come to you when they are in trouble or are having problems. Listen and talk about the strong need to belong and fit in. Let them know it is normal to want to fit in and that peer pressure is something all children and adults experience at some time. Plan regular and frequent activities the whole family can participate in such as picnics, sports, etc. Children are less likely to give into peer pressure or gangs if parents or caregivers spend quality time with them.
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Stay Involved in Your Child’s Life
Encourage your teen to pursue a wide variety of friendships with positive role models, and to join groups or do activities, which involve interacting with positive role models (i.e. sports, church groups).
Get to know your child’s friends and their parents to determine if they are a positive influence and have similar values. Don’t criticize friends who might be a negative influence. Your child is likely to become defensive and continue to be friends with them. Do discuss specific behaviors and actions, “It seems like every time you are with Tom you get into trouble”.
Know where your child is at all times and who they are with. Supervise them at home.
Help Your Child Develop a Positive Self-Image
Encourage responsibility, individuality, independence, and assertiveness: model, role play, and demonstrate these behaviors. Stress the importance of being one’s own person and doing what one feels is right.
Praise assertiveness and good decisions
Provide appropriate discipline when they give into peer pressure, such as restricting privileges, or not letting your child spend time with the friend(s) with whom they got into trouble.
If you are suspicious that your child may have given into peer pressure, try to figure out the reason and address it. Seek help if they are consistently giving into peer pressure.
Signs of Peer Pressure
Excessive demands for material things their friends have
Disregarding your rules in order to do things with friends
Stealing with friends
Any hint of alcohol or drugs
Seriously misleading you about friends or whereabouts
Doing things to avoid rejection like going along with friends who use poor judgment
Show You Care
Always take time to really listen and be accepting of your child
Give children privacy; teens need space
Develop a strong sense of family unity by spending time together
Talk about sex, drugs and alcohol; if you don't they will be learning about these things from media and peers, which can be uniformed and problematic