Bullying
What is bullying?
Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.
Bullying is a common experience for many children and teens. Direct bullying seems to increase through the elementary school years, peak in the middle school/junior high school years, and decline during the high school years. Although direct physical assault seems to decrease with age, verbal abuse appears to remain constant.
Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse.
Being bullied or bullying is not just part of growing up! Bullying is a learned behavior that can be prevented. Bullying occurs in several forms such as hitting, treats, and insults, spreading rumors, or leaving a person out of an activity or group.
Cyber bullying occurs when the bully uses the internet or a cell phone to threaten, harass or embarrass people.
Being bullied can cause academic problems, social isolation, and mental health problems. Bullies are at higher risk for academic problems, violence, and crime. If your child is a bystander encourage him/her to report the bullying to school staff. Many of our schools offer bully prevention programs. Inquire at your child’s school about the bullying programs that are offered at school.
The difference between bullying and normal conflict:
Normal Conflict
Happens occasionally
Accidental
Not serious
Equal emotional reaction
Not seeking power or attention
Not trying to get something
Shows remorse takes responsibility
Effort to solve the problem
Bullying
Happens repeatedly
Done on purpose
Serious threat of physical or emotional harm
Strong emotional reaction on part of the victim
Seeking power or control
Trying to gain material things or power
No remorse blames victim
No effort to solve the problem
What if I think my child is a bully?
If you suspect your child is bullying others, it's important to seek help for him or her as soon as possible. Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties. Talk to your child's pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor, or family physician. If the bullying continues, a comprehensive evaluation by a mental health professional should be arranged. The evaluation can help you and your child understand what is causing the bullying, and help you develop a plan to stop the destructive behavior.
What if I think my child is being bullied?
Victims of bullies often fear school and consider it to be an unsafe and unhappy place. Victims will often stay home 'sick' rather than go to school or travel on the school bus. Victims experience real suffering that can interfere with their social and emotional development, as well as their school performance.
If you suspect your child may be the victim of bullying ask him or her to tell you what's going on. It's important to respond in a positive and accepting manner. Ask your child what he or she thinks should be done. What's already been tried? What worked and what didn't? Help your child practice what to say to the bully so he or she will be prepared the next time.
Other specific suggestions include the following:
Know the school policies that protect students from harassment, bullying, and physical violence. All students have the right to a safe and secure learning environment. Get copies of these policies and procedures.
Seek help from your child's teacher, the school counselor, and school administrators.
Notify the police if your child is assaulted.
If your child becomes withdrawn, depressed, reluctant to go to school, or if you see a decline in school performance, additional consultation or intervention may be required.