Week 17: Finding Happiness

Let’s face it.  We spend a lot of time worrying. Will the money last? Will our health hold up? Are we making the most of the time we have left? These are all natural concerns, especially as we grow older. But here’s something worth remembering: while worry can take up space in our lives, it rarely gives anything back.

So today, we will shift our attention toward something more nourishing, happiness. We’re going to talk about what happiness really is, how your brain helps (or sometimes gets in the way), and what the research tells us about living a happier life. And yes, there are practical, simple ways to cultivate joy. You don’t have to move to a mountaintop or buy a yacht. You just have to tune into what really matters.

When we talk about happiness, we often confuse it with pleasure. The two are related, but they are not the same. And understanding the difference between them can help us make more thoughtful choices about how we live and what we pursue.

Let’s start with pleasure. Pleasure is that quick rush of good feeling you get when something enjoyable happens. Eating a slice of chocolate cake, buying something new, winning a game, or even getting a compliment.  All of these things can feel great at the moment. That’s because they activate a powerful part of your brain’s reward system. Specifically, they cause the release of dopamine, which gives you that burst of excitement or satisfaction.

But pleasure is  temporary. It fades quickly. And often, when we rely on it too much, we find ourselves needing more and more to get the same effect. This is the cycle that drives addiction—not just to substances, but even to things like shopping, social media, or food. Our brain chases the next burst of dopamine, and we can wind up feeling drained or dissatisfied in the long run.

Now let’s contrast that with happiness. Happiness isn’t just about how you feel in one moment. It’s a state of being. A sense of deep well-being, contentment, and meaning that carries through the ups and downs of life. It’s not just about what’s happening to you, but about how you see and experience the world.

Scientists sometimes call this kind of happiness “subjective well-being.” It includes emotional satisfaction, a sense of purpose, and feeling that your life matters.

So how does the brain support this more lasting happiness? While dopamine plays a role, it’s not the star of the show. Serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins all help regulate mood, promote emotional stability, and create the feeling of connection with others. These brain chemicals don’t spike and crash like dopamine—they work more gently, creating a steady hum of peace, purpose, and connection.

To give you a broader framework, let’s return to Aristotle, the Greek philosopher who gave us a helpful way to think about the two sides of happiness:

·         Hedonic happiness arises from pleasure: engaging in enjoyable activities and indulgences.

·         Eudaimonic happiness stems from meaning: living by your values, helping others, and contributing to a greater cause.

Pleasure is like a spark. It lights up fast and bright. Happiness is more like a warm fire.  It takes time to build, but it lasts through the night.

A good life includes moments of pleasure.  But if we want to feel truly satisfied, we have to go deeper. We need connection, purpose, and a sense that we’re part of something meaningful. That’s the heart of real happiness.

Let’s take a moment to look more closely at pleasure, and why it sometimes leads us in the wrong direction.

Pleasure, as we’ve said, is driven by dopamine. When something feels good, dopamine floods your brain and says, “Let’s do that again!” In moderation, that’s helpful. It encourages us to seek enjoyable experiences and rewards. But over time, if we keep chasing that same dopamine rush, our brains begin to adjust.

This process is called tolerance. The first bite of dessert might thrill you. The fifth? Not so much. You need more to get the same effect. This is why some people find themselves endlessly scrolling on their phones, shopping for things they don’t need, or turning to habits that once felt indulgent but now feel empty. The reward system gets hijacked.

When we rely too heavily on these kinds of pleasure—especially the kind that comes from external sources—it can leave us feeling unsatisfied, restless, or even trapped in patterns that don’t serve us. What once brought joy now just maintains a sense of “normal.”

Happiness doesn’t work like that. It isn’t addictive. It grows from within, from connection, kindness, growth, and purpose. And the good news? It doesn’t require more, more, more. In fact, it often asks for less: less chasing, less noise, less clutter.

This is why understanding the difference between pleasure and happiness matters. It helps us see where our habits are leading us, and how to gently shift toward choices that truly nourish the soul. 

If you’ve ever thought, “I used to be happier. What changed?”—you’re not alone. As we age, our circumstances shift. Things that once brought us joy might not feel the same anymore. This doesn’t mean happiness is out of reach, it just means we may need to rethink where we’re looking.  There are times when happiness may be hard to find:

We’ve talked a lot about happiness and what it means, but what does science say? What really makes a happy life?

One of the most fascinating answers comes from a study that’s been running for over 80 years: the Harvard Study of Adult Development. It’s one of the longest and most detailed studies on happiness and health ever conducted.

Back in 1938, researchers at Harvard Medical School began following two very different groups of men. One group was Harvard sophomores—young, privileged, and full of potential. The other group were boys from some of the poorest neighborhoods in Boston, many from broken or struggling families. Over the years, these men were studied carefully. Researchers tracked their physical health, mental well-being, work lives, marriages, friendships, and even how they handled stress.

What made this study unique wasn’t just how long it lasted, but how deeply personal it became. The participants shared letters, memories, struggles, and triumphs. Generations of researchers stayed in touch, even as these men aged, retired, and passed on. Today, the study continues through the children—and even grandchildren—of the original participants.

So, what did they learn? They discovered a very simple concept: Good relationships make us happier and healthier. 

Participants who reported feeling closely connected to others in midlife were more likely to live longer, avoid chronic illness, recover faster from hardship, and stay mentally sharp into old age. On the other hand, those who were isolated or lacked deep friendships were more likely to suffer from depression, cognitive decline, and earlier health problems.

Harvard psychiatrist Dr. George Vaillant, who led the study for over three decades also  found that even if someone had made mistakes, or experienced hardships in their youth, it was love and connection in later life that made the biggest difference.

Even more interesting? A strong marriage didn’t automatically protect someone from loneliness. In fact, people who had close friendships outside of their romantic relationship, such as friends they could turn to in tough times, laugh with, and share their stories, were among the happiest and most emotionally resilient.

Research also suggests that it is  never too late to change the trajectory. Even participants who were lonely or troubled early years experienced great happiness later in life when they found new relationships, reconnected with family, or chose to nurture their emotional lives.

It would probably not surprise you that your  experience of happiness, whether it’s joy, contentment, gratitude, or even peace, is tied to tiny electrical signals traveling through your brain.  Specifically, this is the brain’s reward system, which we have discussed many times this semester.

The central player in that system is the  small region deep in the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which is responsible  for that joyful, often euphoric feeling we get when something positive happens.  The nucleus accumbens  works as part of a larger circuit that includes:

• The ventral tegmental area (VTA), which sends dopamine to the reward system.

• The prefrontal cortex, which helps us focus, reflect, and form meaning from our experiences

• And the amygdala, which helps process emotions like fear, joy, and anxiety.

When we feel happy, it’s often because these areas are in balance and communicating well.

Interestingly, while the brain is capable of intense joy, it’s also built for survival, which means it tends to focus more on threats than pleasures. That’s why good news often fades fast, while negative thoughts can stick around. But with practice, we can retrain our brains to notice the good more often, creating stronger pathways to happiness. That’s part of what we’ll explore in our section on daily habits.

This shift in thinking  can change your brain.   Brain scans have shown that the brains of people who regularly express gratitude, connect with others, or practice mindfulness actually look different. Their emotional centers are more regulated, and they tend to bounce back from stress more quickly.

While the brain controls much of how we feel, it relies on chemicals called neurotransmitters and hormones to carry out the job. Think of these as your body's emotional messengers—circulating through your brain and body to influence mood, energy, motivation, and connection.  Each of these has been discussed previously in our class.  They include:

Dopamine – The Reward Chemical

Dopamine is released when we experience something rewarding, such as finishing a task, receiving praise, or enjoying a delicious meal. It motivates us to repeat enjoyable behaviors. But it can also lead to chasing short-term thrills, so we need to use it wisely.  

Serotonin – The Mood Stabilizer

Serotonin is linked to long-term happiness, calm, and emotional balance. It helps regulate mood, sleep, and even digestion. Low serotonin levels are often associated with depression.  

 Endorphins – The Natural Painkillers

Endorphins help us manage stress and pain. They’re released during physical activity, laughter, and even when eating spicy food.  

 Oxytocin – The Bonding Hormone

Oxytocin is all about connection. It’s released during social bonding and  plays a key role in trust and empathy. 

Together, these chemicals form a kind of emotional toolkit. It is incredibly easy to release these happy hormones.  Engaging in outdoor activities, physical movement, social interactions, and enjoying small pleasures can benefit your brain. 

We have seen that happiness is involved in boosting your happy chemicals.  And there are activities that you can do today to boost your happiness.  They include: 

Get Outside in the Sunlight: Even 15–30 minutes of sunlight can boost serotonin and endorphins. Try a walk, garden time, or sitting on the porch.

Move Your Body: Exercise helps raise dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Choose activities you enjoy—walks, stretching, dancing—especially in nature or with friends.

Laugh (Especially with Friends): Laughter reduces stress and boosts mood. Watch something funny or call someone who brings out your giggles.

Cuddle with a Pet (or a Person): Physical touch increases oxytocin, helping you feel close and connected. Even petting an animal can help.

Cook and Eat with Others: Sharing food (especially nutritious options) triggers dopamine and oxytocin. It's also a great way to connect.

Try Meditation or Deep Breathing: Quiet time helps balance brain chemicals, reduce stress, and encourage mindfulness.

Listen to Music: Music can calm your nervous system and lift your spirit. Songs that bring you joy often release dopamine.

Prioritize Sleep: Your brain restores balance during rest. A good night’s sleep supports every happy hormone.

Science shows that we can train our brains to think more positively, even later in life. Like any habit, happiness strengthens with practice.  In past lessons, we have described ways to make us happier.  Here are some of them:

• Keep a gratitude journal: Write down three good things that happened each day and why they happened.

• Send a kind note*: Reach out to someone with a kind word, compliment, or thank-you.

• Practice mindfulness: Spend a few minutes focusing on the present, either through breathing or stillness.

• Perform a random act of kindness: Smile at a stranger, help someone, or give a small gift.

•  Exercise:  Physical activity supports not just the body but also a positive and resilient brain.

So, what does all this mean for us, especially now, in this stage of life? It means that happiness is still within reach, not because life is perfect, but because we have the power to focus on what truly matters. When we let go of the constant chase for pleasure and turn instead toward meaning, connection, and self-compassion, we begin to build the kind of happiness that lasts. That doesn’t mean giving up joy or fun—it means making space for the things that fill you, not just distract you. So, take time to reflect on what gives your life meaning. Nourish your relationships. Be present for small moments. And above all, know this: happiness isn’t something we find once and for all: it’s something we practice, every day, with intention and care.

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