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This lesson explores how grief impacts the brain, particularly in emotional regulation, memory, and decision-making. It examines the neurological changes during mourning and how prolonged grief can affect cognitive function. Practical tips for managing grief include seeking professional support, connecting with support groups, practicing mindfulness, staying active, and allowing oneself time to heal.
Learning Objectives
By the end of this lesson, you will be able to:
Define grief and understand the different types of grief.
Identify the emotional, cognitive, physical, and behavioral symptoms of grief.
Explain how grief affects the brain and impacts emotions, memory, and decisions.
Apply practical tips for managing grief.
(American Psychiatric Association [APA], 2022)
Grief is a complex emotional, cognitive, physical, and social response to the loss of someone or something meaningful. Most often associated with the death of a loved one, grief can also arise from other major life changes, such as divorce, job loss, serious illness, or even collective loss (e.g., natural disasters or pandemics) (American Psychiatric Association [APA], 2022).
Grief is not a mental illness, but a natural and necessary process of adapting to loss. It affects each person differently and can change over time.
(O’Connor, 2020), (Sandberg & Grant, 2017), (APA, 2022)
Acute Grief
This is the initial, intense reaction to loss. It includes feelings of sadness, shock, anger, numbness, and yearning.
Usually occurs in the first days, weeks, or months after a loss.
Over time, these emotions tend to lessen as the bereaved begins to adjust.
Prolonged Grief (Complicated Grief / PGD)
Grief that lasts longer than 6–12 months, impairs daily functioning, and is characterized by intense longing or preoccupation with the deceased.
Now recognized in the DSM-5-TR as Prolonged Grief Disorder.
Can resemble depression or PTSD but has its own diagnostic criteria.
Anticipatory Grief
Occurs before a loss, often when a loved one is terminally ill or aging.
Emotions may include sadness, guilt, helplessness, and anxiety as the individual prepares emotionally for the impending loss.
Disenfranchised Grief
Grief that is not socially acknowledged or supported (e.g., miscarriage, loss of a pet, or the death of an ex-spouse).
Collective Grief
Shared by a group or society, often in response to mass trauma or public tragedies (e.g., school shootings, natural disasters).
Grief can manifest in four domains: emotional, cognitive, physical, and behavioral. These symptoms vary widely in intensity and duration.
Emotional Symptoms:
Sadness, longing, or emptiness
Guilt, anger, or regret
Anxiety or fear
Numbness or emotional detachment
Cognitive Symptoms:
Difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly
Confusion or disorientation ("grief fog")
Intrusive thoughts or persistent focus on the loss
Memory problems
Physical Symptoms:
Fatigue or low energy
Sleep disturbances (insomnia or oversleeping)
Changes in appetite or weight
Headaches or bodily pain
Behavioral and Social Symptoms:
Withdrawal from others
Avoiding reminders of the loss
Hypervigilance or restlessness
Ritualistic behaviors (e.g., visiting grave sites frequently)
While these responses are normal in acute grief, persistent or intensifying symptoms that disrupt daily life may indicate the need for additional support.
(Lazar et al., 2005), (O’Connor et al., 2024), (Sandberg & Grant, 2017), (Picard & McEwen, 2018), (O’Connor, 2020),
Grief is not only emotional. Grief is a neurobiological process that profoundly affects various brain regions and cognitive functions. These effects are particularly evident in areas responsible for emotional regulation, memory, and decision-making—the three areas most impacted during mourning. Let's take a closer look at how grief changes the brain in these critical areas and how prolonged grief may further impair cognitive function.
This image shows how different parts of the brain change activity during grief.
Some regions (like the prefrontal cortex) show decreased activity, similar to depression, affecting emotion control and focus.
Others (like the posterior cingulate cortex and cerebellum) show increased activity, similar to sadness.
Grief also has unique patterns: the amygdala and ventral striatum become more active, reflecting emotional pain and longing, while areas like the ventromedial prefrontal cortex show reduced activity, affecting emotional awareness.
Overall, grief activates brain circuits linked to sadness, depression, and attachment, making it a uniquely powerful emotional experience.
1. Emotional Regulation and the Amygdala
The amygdala, often referred to as the brain's "emotional alarm system," plays a central role in emotional processing, particularly in responses to fear, sadness, and social rejection. During grief, the amygdala becomes hyperactive, which can significantly influence how emotions are experienced and managed.
How Grief Affects Emotional Regulation:
Increased sensitivity: The heightened activity of the amygdala during grief makes individuals more emotionally reactive. This can result in overwhelming emotions such as sadness, anger, or anxiety. Grievers may find themselves triggered by seemingly minor reminders or events.
Difficulty regulating emotions: Grieving individuals may struggle with emotional impulsivity—either reacting too intensely to emotions or withdrawing entirely to avoid them. The prefrontal cortex (PFC), which helps modulate the amygdala's activity, becomes less effective under stress, making it difficult to process emotions in a balanced way.
Prolonged Grief and Emotional Regulation:
Chronic emotional instability: In cases of prolonged grief, the continued overactivation of the amygdala can make it harder to return to baseline emotional regulation, leading to constant emotional dysregulation. This can also trigger more intense fight-or-flight responses, making emotional recovery slower.
Depression and anxiety: Extended periods of unresolved grief are linked to the development of mood disorders, including depression and anxiety, due to the ongoing dysregulation of emotional responses.
After suppressing grief for decades, Anderson reached out earlier this year to psychotherapist and author Francis Weller to ask for help. In this very personal conversation Anderson reveals some of what he’s learned about the strategies he developed as a child to shield himself from grief and why those strategies are now working against him.
2. Memory and the Hippocampus
The hippocampus is crucial for the formation and retrieval of memories and plays a key role in processing temporal context—our ability to make sense of time and experience past, present, and future events.
How Grief Affects Memory:
Impaired memory and concentration: During grief, especially in its acute phase, many individuals experience what’s commonly referred to as “grief fog”—a feeling of mental dullness or forgetfulness. This is due to the shrinkage of the hippocampus, which is influenced by chronic exposure to cortisol, the stress hormone.
Disrupted time perception: Grieving individuals may experience time distortion, feeling as if time has slowed down or stood still. This can happen because the hippocampus is not effectively encoding new experiences, and individuals may become hyper-focused on the past or the memories of the deceased.
Prolonged Grief and Memory Function:
Long-term cognitive decline: In the case of prolonged grief, the chronic stress response can lead to long-term hippocampal atrophy. This means the brain struggles to form new memories and experiences as easily, and short-term memory can be heavily affected. Additionally, persistent grief may impair the ability to recall important daily events or make future-oriented plans, which can affect general life functioning.
Difficulty finding meaning: Prolonged grief often results in rumination—repeatedly thinking about the loss—and this can lead to trouble integrating the loss into one’s life narrative, making it harder to move forward.
3. Decision-Making and the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC)
The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the brain region responsible for higher-order functions, including decision-making, impulse control, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. The PFC helps us make thoughtful decisions rather than impulsive or reactionary ones.
How Grief Affects Decision-Making:
Impaired decision-making: When grieving, especially in the acute stages, the prefrontal cortex becomes less effective. This is partly due to chronic stress, which can make it difficult to think clearly or consider the consequences of actions. Grievers often feel mentally "foggy" and unable to focus on long-term goals or immediate tasks.
Reduced executive function: Grief can impair the working memory that’s necessary for making decisions, leading individuals to make choices they later regret or struggle to make decisions at all. This is a common response to the overactivation of the amygdala combined with the decreased function of the PFC during mourning.
Prolonged Grief and Decision-Making:
Chronic decision paralysis: In cases of prolonged grief, the ongoing effects of cognitive depletion from disrupted PFC activity can cause paralysis by analysis—a state where the person is unable to make even simple decisions. This can lead to feelings of being stuck, where the individual is unable to move forward or find solutions to life’s challenges.
Increased vulnerability to risky decisions: Alternatively, prolonged grief can lead to impulsivity, where people make hasty decisions or act out of character because the brain's regulatory systems are impaired. This can increase the likelihood of poor judgment and behaviors such as substance use or social withdrawal.
Learn more about the various states of the grieving process and how men and women grieve and heal differently. Natasha Josefowitz, PhD, bestselling author and professor of management will use poems from her award-winning book, Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without (November 2013), to illustrate the emotional aftermath of loss and the changes that must take place in order for people to heal.
(Mindful Synergi, 2023)
The neurological changes during mourning, particularly in emotional regulation, memory, and decision-making, underscore why grief feels like such an exhausting and disorienting experience. As grief takes a toll on the brain, individuals may find themselves losing their sense of self or experiencing life as a foggy blur.
Prolonged Grief and Cognitive Function:
Continued stress from prolonged grief can cause chronic dysregulation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to persistent high cortisol and further hippocampal damage, impairing memory and emotional processing.
Impaired emotional regulation can lead to social withdrawal, difficulty in maintaining relationships, and depression, as the person struggles to maintain equilibrium.
The decreased ability to make decisions and the impaired memory may also affect life satisfaction, making it harder to engage with the world in a meaningful way. Without support, these cognitive declines can lead to long-term emotional and mental health consequences.
This diagram shows how our sense of self and memory processing shape grief outcomes.
When identity is merged with the deceased, memories become negative and loss-focused, leading to maladaptive coping and prolonged grief.
When identity remains more independent, memories are balanced and specific, supporting adaptive coping and healthy adjustment.
Factors like attachment style, rumination, and emotional flexibility influence which path a person follows.
Watch this short video where Dr. Andrew Huberman and Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor share science-backed tools to help the body and mind navigate each wave of grief. Their insights reveal how neuroscience can guide healing and emotional resilience.
(O'Connor, 2020), (Kabat-Zinn, 2013), (Duman, 2014), (Neff, 2011)
Grief is an intensely personal experience that affects people in different ways. While it is natural to feel overwhelmed or lost during this time, there are various practical strategies that can help individuals manage their grief and support their mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Below are some effective strategies, along with explanations of how each one helps with the grieving process:
1. Seeking Professional Support (Therapists, Counselors, or Psychologists)
Why It Matters:
Grief therapy provides a safe space for individuals to express their emotions and navigate the complex feelings that come with loss. Grief counselors and psychologists are trained to help individuals process grief in a healthy way, avoid complicated grief (a type of grief that becomes prolonged and impairs daily functioning), and gain coping skills.
How It Helps:
Expert guidance: Professional support offers guidance on how to manage overwhelming emotions such as anger, guilt, or sadness. Grief counselors are also trained to recognize when grief may develop into a more serious condition, such as depression or anxiety, and they can help address these challenges.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Techniques like CBT can help grieving individuals reframe negative thought patterns that arise from loss, such as rumination (constantly rethinking the same painful memories) or self-blame.
Support for complicated grief: In cases of prolonged grief, therapy can help individuals develop more adaptive ways of integrating the loss into their lives, fostering acceptance, and building emotional resilience.
What happens when you don’t process your grief? What happens when you avoid dealing with loss? People say that time heals, but I would argue that it doesn’t unless you allow yourself to work through your pain little by little.
Grief counselor answers your questions about grief and loss. Learn coping strategies, manage emotions, and find support on your healing journey.
2. Connecting with Support Groups (Online or In-Person)
Why It Matters:
Grief can feel isolating, and people may feel like no one else understands what they’re going through. Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can be a powerful source of emotional support.
How It Helps:
Shared experience: Support groups provide a sense of community and remind individuals that they are not alone in their grief. Hearing others’ stories can help individuals realize that their feelings are normal and that they will not be judged for their emotions.
Emotional validation: In these settings, participants often express their emotions openly and without fear of criticism, which helps in processing unexpressed emotions that may be buried.
Practical tips: Group members often share practical coping strategies they’ve found useful, which may help others in the group feel more empowered.
Encouragement and accountability: Support groups offer encouragement to move forward, and in some cases, members may become accountability partners, checking in to make sure everyone is taking steps toward emotional healing.
This diagram explains how grief support groups help people heal and find meaning after loss.
It begins with a foundation of activities—having emotional support, stability in daily life, and a safe environment. These allow participants to engage in group experiences, where they share both positive moments (like teamwork and encouragement) and negative ones (like emotional difficulty or management issues). From these interactions, people gain benefits such as self-expression, learning, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Through these shared experiences, participants begin structuring meaning in their lives. They move through stages of facing grief—understanding their loss, accepting change, and finding strength—and self-discovery, where they redefine their goals, values, and sense of identity.
Finally, this process leads to reflection on life (accepting oneself and life’s changes) and social connectedness (wanting to help others and contribute to society). Overall, it shows how group support transforms grief into personal growth, connection, and a new sense of meaning.
3. Practicing Mindfulness and Meditation
Why It Matters:
Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for emotional regulation and stress management. They help individuals focus on the present moment, rather than being consumed by past memories or future anxieties related to the loss.
How It Helps:
Reduction in emotional reactivity: Practicing mindfulness helps to create a sense of calm amidst the intense emotional surges that often accompany grief. By focusing on the present moment, individuals are able to disengage from the cycle of negative thinking (e.g., "I will never be happy again").
Improved emotional regulation: Mindfulness practices activate regions of the brain (like the prefrontal cortex) that help regulate emotions, making it easier to respond to grief with more emotional balance. This is crucial for people who feel like their emotions are out of control.
Reduction in physical symptoms of grief: Meditation can lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), improving sleep, digestion, and general physical health, which often suffer during periods of grief.
Promoting self-compassion: Loving-kindness meditation, in particular, helps develop self-compassion—an important quality for people who may feel guilty or blame themselves for the death or their emotional responses.
Injustice of any kind is exhausting for the body and mind, and it affects all of us differently. Learn to process it in a way that allows for healing with this meditation by Rachel Ricketts.
4. Staying Active and Engaging in Physical Exercise
Why It Matters:
Physical activity helps combat the mental fog and fatigue that often accompany grief. Regular exercise provides an opportunity to engage the body, release tension, and support brain health. It also helps manage the physical symptoms of grief, such as insomnia, appetite changes, and stress.
How It Helps:
Endorphin release: Physical activity leads to the release of endorphins, the brain’s natural “feel-good” chemicals. These chemicals help elevate mood and can act as a natural counterbalance to depressive symptoms.
Better sleep: Exercise has a direct link to better sleep quality by regulating circadian rhythms. Since grief often leads to sleep disturbances, staying active during the day can promote restful sleep during the night, which in turn helps with emotional processing.
Reduces anxiety: Regular movement helps decrease levels of anxiety and tension, which are common during grief. As the body becomes more physically resilient, so does the mind. It provides a natural, healthy outlet for frustration or anger.
Rebuilding routine: When people are grieving, it’s easy to lose motivation or abandon routines. Exercise creates a new, healthy routine, providing structure and helping individuals focus on a future-oriented goal (e.g., building stamina or improving fitness).
The text below the movements explains the intention:
Common Goal: The goal of Mourning Movement and Grief Yoga is to allow grief to move through the body instead of staying "locked within."
Healing: It suggests that if you are struggling with grief, movement can be a form of healing.
Self-Compassion: It emphasizes that each step, from taking a deep breath to following a practice, is an act of self-compassion.
5. Allowing Oneself Time to Heal (Self-Compassion and Patience)
Why It Matters:
Grief is a process that cannot be rushed. Time is an essential component of healing. Allowing oneself the space to grieve fully, without judgment or shame, is critical for long-term emotional recovery.
How It Helps:
Acknowledging grief: People often want to “move on” quickly, but grief requires time and attention. When individuals are patient with themselves, they allow the grief to unfold naturally, rather than suppressing it.
Self-compassion: Being kind and gentle with oneself during grief is essential for emotional health. This means avoiding self-criticism (e.g., "I shouldn’t feel this way") and instead, allowing for emotional ups and downs without shame.
Normalization of the grief process: Time allows for integration of the loss into one’s life story, enabling the person to build a new identity and find new meaning post-loss. It’s also a time when individuals can reconnect with their values, such as love, family, or spirituality, which can be sources of resilience.
Healing happens in waves: Grief does not follow a linear path. It’s important to give oneself permission to have bad days while still holding onto hope for the future. This acceptance allows individuals to move through grief without resisting it.
Join me to explore the transformative realm of self-compassion and healing. How often do we extend kindness to ourselves? Our exploration focuses on nurturing self-compassion, especially during times of traumatic grief. It's a skill that offers solace to our minds and bodies.
Each of these practical tips offers different avenues of support for those grieving a loss. Whether it's the comfort of professional guidance, the sense of companionship in support groups, the calming power of mindfulness, the physical benefits of exercise, or simply the patience to allow time for healing, all of these strategies support emotional resilience during one of life's most challenging experiences.
These tips also serve to counteract the cognitive and emotional disruptions that grief causes in the brain, such as emotional dysregulation, memory fog, and poor decision-making. They help individuals restore balance in their lives, promoting healing, growth, and ultimately, the ability to move forward with meaning and purpose.
Grief is a universal human experience — but it affects the brain in unique ways. Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor explains what neuroscience reveals about loss, resilience, and how we can truly support those who are grieving. Please take a moment to watch — it’s a 30-minute video, but incredibly informative and worth your time.
Grief is a natural emotional response to loss, impacting not just emotions but also cognitive, physical, and social well-being. It can be acute, prolonged, anticipatory, disenfranchised, or collective, each with unique symptoms. Grief alters brain functions, particularly in areas responsible for emotional regulation, memory, and decision-making. For example, the amygdala becomes overactive, increasing emotional sensitivity, while the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus can be weakened, leading to cognitive fog, memory issues, and difficulty making decisions.
To manage grief, individuals can seek professional support, connect with support groups, practice mindfulness, stay active, and allow themselves time to heal. These strategies support emotional resilience and help counteract the brain's cognitive and emotional disruptions caused by grief, promoting recovery and healing.
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR).
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Duman, R. S. (2014). Role of neurotrophic factors in the pathophysiology and treatment of mood disorders. Neuropsychopharmacology, 39(1), 107–126.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness (Revised ed.). Delta.
Lazar, S. W., Kerr, C. E., Wasserman, R. H., et al. (2005). Meditation experience is associated with increased cortical thickness. NeuroReport, 16(17), 1893–1897.
Mindful Synergi. (2023). The biochemistry of grief: How loss changes the body. Retrieved from https://www.mindfulsynergi.com/the-biochemistry-of-grief
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.
O’Connor, M.-F. (2020). The grieving brain: The surprising science of how we learn from love and loss. HarperOne.
O’Connor, M.-F., Seeley, W., & Eisenberger, N. (2024). Amygdala connectivity and grief responses: A longitudinal neuroimaging study. Biological Psychiatry, 95(4), 281–290.
Picard, M., & McEwen, B. S. (2018). Psychological stress and mitochondria: A systematic review. Psychosomatic Medicine, 80(2), 141–153.
Sandberg, S., & Grant, A. (2017). Option B: Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy. KNOPF New York.