Week 3: Coping with Change

Change is hard because it can be uncomfortable. Some experts believe that reframing your thinking and interpreting the change as an opportunity to learn and grow may help overcome the stress of change. This class will also cover the effects of chronic stress on the brain and focus on how to cope with change as a way to help lower the risk of anxiety and depression.

The Window of Tolerance describes the best state of ‘arousal’ or stimulation in which we are able to function and thrive in everyday life. When we exist within this window, we are able to learn effectively, play, and relate well to ourselves and others. When you are within their window of tolerance, the brain is generally functioning well and can effectively process stimuli. You are likely to be able to reflect, think rationally, and make decisions calmly without feeling either overwhelmed or withdrawn.

During times of stress, we move outside of our window and we can become hyper-aroused or hypo-aroused.  Hyper-arousal, (i.e., fight or flight response), is often characterized by hypervigilance, feelings of anxiety and/or panic, and racing thoughts.  It can present as difficulties concentrating, irritability, anger and angry outbursts, panic, constant anxiety, easily scared or startled, self-destructive behavior, etc. Hypo-arousal, or a freeze response, may cause feelings of emotional numbness, exhaustion, depression, emptiness, disconnection, flat affect or paralysis.

In either of these states outside of the window of tolerance, an individual may become unable to process stimuli effectively. The prefrontal cortex “shuts down”, affecting the ability to think rationally and may lead to feelings of dysregulation, which can impair metabolic, physiological or psychological processes.  Those who have a narrow window of tolerance may often feel as if their emotions are intense and difficult to manage. The wider we are able to make our window of tolerance the better we are able to handle intense emotions or situations without feeling like our ability to function has been significantly impacted.

We all have different ‘windows’, due to factors such as: significant childhood experiences, our social determinants of health (the conditions in the environments where people are born, live, learn, work, play), the systems we live in, our neurobiology, coping skills and social support. People are generally more able to remain within the window when they feel safe and supported.

Having the resources, a support system and a community to manage stress lays the foundation to cope better when unexpected and undesired life changes happen. These resources can be coping skills you already practice, connecting with your social network, and services you have access to (therapy, coaching, etc.). Applying these resources also helps to widen your window of tolerance. 

Here are some ways you can cope with change that feels stressful: 

1. Find your people, create/build a support system, and/or confide with people close to you. Connecting and being vulnerable about your struggles and challenges is an important way to process your thoughts around the change.

2. Prioritize activities that feel beneficial for you. What are your values? What would provide more meaning to your life?  The activities you do frequently for your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs are often pushed to the side when you feel stressed. However, they are critical to reducing the likelihood and impact of stress. Introducing and being consistent with activities that make you feel good may help to reduce stress and also provide a sense of structure in the midst of change.

3. Creating more change. This might seem counter-intuitive, but introducing a change you chose and wanted can lead you to feeling more in control of your situation and give you a sense of agency in your life. The change could be something as large as moving to a new city to as small as starting a new hobby.

4. Find something familiar. For example, rewatching a television series you love, or even eating your favorite comfort food can ease the stress during change and transitions. Grounding yourself in something familiar can make yourself feel happy and improve your overall mood.

5. Evaluate Your Level of Control. Sometimes it’s all too easy to become fixated on events over which we have no power.  But rather than focus on blaming others or moving the unmovable, resilient people set their sights on what they can control. To evaluate your level of control over a situation, you can ask yourself, “What can I take responsibility for in this situation?” When you look for opportunities to empower yourself and work towards change that is possible, you’re less likely to feel stuck in difficult situations.

One of the best ways to cope with change is to use your thoughts.  By identifying positive outcomes of the change, you can better adapt.  You can do this in different ways.

Change your thoughts about change: 

Reframing your perception of the change can help you manage the change. The mind can often ruminate on negative feelings and get stuck in thoughts that increase stress. Reframing your thoughts around the change that is causing stress can reduce the stress or even shift it into being motivating. Talking to someone or journaling can help you to increase your awareness of your current perceptions and reframe them. Another tool to reframe your perception is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) from a mental health professional, which can help you to explore and change your thoughts and feelings towards stressful situations.

Check Your Thought Patterns:

 In times of change, it’s normal for your mind to see everything in black or white, or you assume the worst will occur. You can take some “time in” to self-reflect and nudge your thinking by examining your thought patterns – e.g., ask yourself “Is this a rational thought?.” If you find your mind racing, you can try to slow down the brain by practicing relaxation techniques, such as tai chi, yoga and deep breathing; these can help you feel more in control of your brain and how you evaluate a major change. You can also generate more positive thoughts if you take the time to recall and remind yourself about transitions and challenges you successfully navigated in the past. Make a list of ways you’ve been resilient in your life, and consider what traits and actions might be able to see you through the current challenge. Then focus on your strengths to feel more empowered to meet whatever change and stressors are ahead of you.