Ki Tisa

The "spiritual self-development helix" in the lives of Abraham, Jacob, Joseph and Moses (in this week's portion):

Sometimes we feel we have 'completed a circle' in our life (or perhaps we don't realize it until much later). One can imagine a cycle of events, and a vertical axis representing spiritual growth.

To introduce the idea, see the diagram:

"spiritual self-development helix": We proceed in life, events unfold, we undergo an inner process, and suddenly we find ourselves back to our starting point, but at a higher level - 'completing a circle' that is actually a spiritual helix, often involvlng self-development, fixing some flaw. This is the journey of our great ancestors as described in the Torah.

The story of Abraham in the very beginning seems to portray him as passive at first - he is taken by his father on a journey towards Canaan. However his father remains in Harran on the way, and God tells Abraham to make the journey. Abraham does God's bidding (a combination of passive and active) and arrives in Cna'an. The first thing he does at his own initiative, not at God's direct behest, is that - in a story placed immediately after that of his arrival - he leaves, due to a famine; they go to Egypt and Sarah is kidnapped with intent to rape. The story is very strange (read it in Genesis) and it almost seems as though Abraham passively acceded to the current culture and mores in Egypt and it seems as though he did not somehow take Sara's honor into consideration sufficiently.

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Later he developed much more active involvement, even waging war to save his nephew Lot. We do not judge a spiritual giant such as Abraham, I would certainly have failed a 100 times more and 100 times as big, and Abraham was not as powerful at the time of the story of his wife as he was when he waged war to save Lot so we cannot assume he could militarily defeat the Pharaoh, in fact part of his power resulted from that event. However the Torah sets out the details of all the great personages including those which indicated their weaknesses which needed 'fixing', which is why the Torah is called that, Torah = "Teaching".

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However the Torah takes great pains to spell out in exhaustive detail the last major action Abraham takes, making the great effort of arranging an especially-honorable burial for Sarah, a long drawn out story with many details. This is Abraham's journey in a self-development helix, and seeing it in this perspective helps us understand why the burial story is so long and detailed, and why Abraham went to such great lengths, and interceded with the local hegemon in a possibly-fraught situation, to secure that so-very-special burial spot for her, and then insiting later - some time before his death - that he too be buried there, at her side.All can be seen as a recognition tha the needed to 'fix' something, and did so at great self-sacrifice, completing his spiritual self-development helix.

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Jacob: At the beginning of his story, his birth, he is holding Esav his brother by the heel, very strange, aggressive, very physical, not what one expects a spart of the path to spiritual achievement, but many years later he has a mystical encounter - seemingly physical but actually not - that takes this to the appropriate level, he performs exactly the same actions as in the birth-story - holding the representative of Esav, not letting go until he receives a blessing, and receiving a name as a result, all exactly as in the birth-story-version, but now (according to Tradution, and in line with a very subtle careful reading of the story) in a spiritual struggle only symbolically portrayed as physical. See: https://www.facebook.com/.../permalink/10158072985642116/

Joseph: The introduction of his life story is about him telling tales about his brothers and seemingly self-promoting via describing his dreams. His helix is completed at the end of the story when he makes tremendious efforts to prevent this father from learning what his brothers had done to him (kidnapped him and sold him as a slave to Egypt, and brought terrible grief to Jacob). This was Joseph's spiritual self-development helix. See: https://www.facebook.com/.../permalink/10166620510795151/

Our hero Moses in this week's portion: he made an inner journey from the time of the burning bush/sneh to the end of his life: he starts off at the fire which does not consume, God's presence revealed, and hides his face in fear, and develops to the point where - at the end of our week's portion - the shining comes from HIM ('koran or panav'), from the face he had previously hidden, and from which others must now hide in fear.

What was the process leading to this helix?

Initially Moses's humility was expressed in reticence to do Hashem's bidding, because he perceived taking the mission as negating his humility; this made God 'angry' (like a parent simulates anger as a pedagogic device to teach a child), meaning Moses still had yet to learn TRUE humility. Later Moses indeed develops to the point where he is not concerned with his own wishes and preferences - for example his wish to conform his actions to his desire for humility - but rather is ready to do whatever Hashem needs from him, including becoming a leader and telling people what to do and not to, which was a great suffering for such a humble person, but this is true humility, expressed in accepting his lot of being a leader since this was God's Will. .

Later, at the time of the Golden Calf, Moses was ready to give up everything – including his very life - by defending Israel at a time of God's 'wrath' and the promise of greatness for his children. He spoke with great chutzpah to God, saying "ok, if that what you intend to do (destroying the Jewish People , I can't stop you but) erase me from the Book (the Torah) which you are writing (I don;t want to appear in it if that's what you will do)"- and God rejoiced at this, God loved him all the more, because he understood his mission - to defend the Jewish People at all cost - and by being willing to eliminate himself entirely in this way he was finally expressing true humility - speaking with seeming chutzpah to God and being ready to sacrifice what he most wanted, the pursuit of a 'humble life', all in order to save others.

As a result, God now speaks to Moses not from a burning bush, with Moses hiding his face but rather - in God's own words - "face to face" (the word face appears many times in this story), and the face of Moses now reflects this.

[Moses had made an inner journey from the time of the sneh סנה ('burning bush') where he hid from the fire (representing the light of the revelation God's presence) to this point where due to the fearsome light shining from him he must wear a מסוה a veil [note the similarity in the letters/shapes in these two Hebrew words].

Moses has come around full circle, from humility to higher-level humility, thus completing a 'spiritual self-development helix'.

May we be blessed to successfully go through our own spiritual growth journey, and to refine not only our less-than-good traits, but sometimes even more challenging – to know how to correctly channel the good ones too.

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Appendix: Another Humble Helix

At the beginning, Moses (Moshe Rabenu = M"R) said of himself to H(ashem)': "lo ish dvarim anochi'. But it is certainly an interesting and intended irony that later on:

• M”R ends up saying the "aseret hadvarim" (Note: He said it at the request of the Bney Yisrael instead of them hearing it directly from Gd, ie he was the messenger for that too, and at their request, not as he feared re sneh that they wouldn;t listen to him!).

• M"R speaks over the whole sefer dvarim, which has its name from that (ie the whole sefer mishneh torah is named 'sefer dvarim' due to "eleh hadvarim asher dibber moshe").

The idea is that H' needed M"R to be an ish dvarim. and didn't anymore need his (extra)ordinary humility. M"R was needed as a leader who could cajole, chastise, remind, exhort, warn.... including right before his death, so that the Bney Yisrael not go astray after his death.

Initially M"R's humility was expressed in reticence to do H's bidding because he perceived it as negating his humility, but later M"R develops to the point where he is not concerned with his own wishes and preferences - for example to conform to his humility - but rather is ready to do whatever H needs from him, a true humility, expressed in accepting his lot of being a leader.

This is another helix where M"R comes around full circle (from dvarim to dvarim, from humility to humility), at a higher level.

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Karan or panav: helix etc

my FB post for Ki Tisa, spiritual helix, the shining

At first Moses hides his face in fear from the light of God, and now at the end of this week's portion we are told how others must hide from him, because of their fear due to light shining now from that same face which he had hidden in fear. .

Moses had made an inner journey from the time of the sneh סנה ('burning bush') where he hid from the fire (representing the light of the revelation God's presence) to this point where due to the fearsome light shining from him he must wear a מסוה a veil [note the similarity in the letters/shapes in these two Hebrew words]. .

Initially Moses's humility was expressed in reticence to do Hashem's bidding, because he perceived taking the mission as negating his humility; this made God 'angry', meaning Moses still had yet to learn TRUE humility. Later Moses indeed develops to the point where he is not concerned with his own wishes and preferences - for example his wish to conform his actions to his desire for humility - but rather is ready to do whatever Hashem needs from him, which is a true humility, expressed in accepting his lot of being a leader since this was God's Will.

. [ And even more, Moses internalizes that his role is to be defender of his people, even to the point of challenging God, as he did after the sin of the Golden Calf, and later, when he said "if so (if you God will erase the Jewish People), please erase me from your book (rather than making me the ancestor of a new nation instead of them)" (Note: Not just was he not erased, but these books are now called "the five books of Moses"!). Moses understands that this is real humility, erasing himself and what he wanted and how he wanted to be and how he would prefer to defer to God, in order to carry out the mission God wants of him.

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So God now speaks to Moses]

God now speaks to Moses not from a burning bush, with Moses hiding hs face but - in God's own words - "face to face", and the face of Moses now reflects this.

Moses has come around full circle, from humility to humility, but at a higher level, thus executing a 'spiritual helix'.

Moses was ready to give up everything – including his very life, by defending Israel at a time of God's 'wrath' and the promise of greatness for his children - but became fully humble only when he was ready to sacrifice what he most wanted, the pursuit of a 'humble life'.

May we be blessed to successfully go through our own spiritual growth journey, and to refine not only our less-than-good traits, but sometimes even more challenging – to know how to correctly channel the good ones too.

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At first Moses hides his face in fear from the light of God, and now at the end of this week's portion we are told how others must hide from him, because of their fear due to light shining now from that same face which he had hidden in fear. .

Moses had made an inner journey from the time of the sneh סנה ('burning bush') where he hid from the fire (representing the light of the revelation God's presence) to this point where due to the fearsome light shining from him he must wear a מסוה a veil [note the similarity in the letters/shapes in these two Hebrew words]. .

Initially Moses's humility was expressed in reticence to do Hashem's bidding, because he perceived taking the mission as negating his humility; this made God 'angry', meaning Moses still had yet to learn TRUE humility. Later Moses indeed develops to the point where he is not concerned with his own wishes and preferences - for example his wish to conform his actions to his desire for humility - but rather is ready to do whatever Hashem needs from him, which is a true humility, expressed in accepting his lot of being a leader since this was God's Will. ....... not from a burning bush, with Moses hiding hs face but - in God's own words - "face to face", and the face of Moses now reflects this.

Moses has come around full circle, from humility to humility, but at a higher level, thus executing a 'spiritual helix'.

Moses was ready to give up everything – including his very life, by defending Israel at a time of God's 'wrath' and the promise of greatness for his children - but became fully humble only when he was ready to sacrifice what he most wanted, the pursuit of a 'humble life'.

May we be blessed to successfully go through our own spiritual growth journey, and to refine not only our less-than-good traits, but sometimes even more challenging – to know how to correctly channel the good ones too.

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