OCTOBER 2022

(L)OSTON

Matt Schultz

Us Boston sports fans have been blessed with over two decades of winning, happiness, and flat out dominance in all of the four major sports. In the Brady era, the Patriots won six super bowls, appeared in nine, made thirteen conference championships, and won the division eighteen times. The Red Sox have won four World Series titles since 2000. The Bruins have made the playoffs about 73% of the time since the beginning of the millennium with a Stanley Cup in 2011. And the Celtics have made numerous playoff appearances along with three finals appearances since 2000 and a championship in 2008. All of this success and we still complain about how we haven’t seen a championship parade since 2019. But these obnoxious calls for winning aren’t going to be answered in the near and distant future. We are greedy, unappreciative fans and inexperienced losers who are about to fall into the ditch of losing. 

Ce(L)tics

All of the Celtics success in the recent 2021-22 season came to a crashing halt on June 16th. Steph Curry’s 34 points were too much for the worn out Celtics squad as they only mustered 90 points in the season finale. All series, the Celtics were out-rebounded (by a small forward), out-shot, out-played, and out-coached, which led to the hideous sight of Draymond Green hoisting the Larry O’Brian trophy on our parquet. Even after the demoralizing defeat, the Celtics still had a promising young roster and hope for the next season. But just like their fans, the front office got greedy. They began to pursue other options. 

Rumors of Kevin Durant wanting out of Brooklyn swirled around the league and specifically pleased the front office of Boston. Brad Stevens willingly (and stupidly) made it public that they were willing to give up star shooting guard Jaylen Brown in a deal to acquire Durant. Brown has been the go-to second option behind Jayson Tatum and was arguably the best and most consistent player in the playoffs. To publicly share this information is undoubtedly the worst thing an organization can do, and all of them do it. I still can’t comprehend why teams tell everyone that they are willing to get rid of a player, especially someone like Jaylen Brown who was drafted and home-grown. They don’t seem to understand that this information is hurtful to their players and forces their morale to plummet. And the Celtics made all this fuss just to not get Durant anyway. They risked their future for a 34-year-old KD with a patchy hairline. Does Durant have a perfectly shaped high-top fade like Jaylen Brown does? That’s what I thought. 

Even though the front office’s relationship with Brown began to deteriorate, they made up for it in some ways by making the summer signing of sharpshooter Danillo Gallinari to provide scoring off the bench. But 46 days after signing Gallinari, he graphically tore his ACL while playing for his home country (Italy) in the FIBA World Cup Qualifier against Georgia (the country, not the state). 

Another decision made by the front office came back to bite them this summer. The Celtics’ young starting center Robert Williams III tore his meniscus at the end of the regular season. Normal protocol for this injury requires a three to six month recovery process, but as the Celtics front office realized that the 21-22 season was “the year”, they set Williams’ recovery timeline for 4-6 weeks. Fishy, right? This rushed recovery forced Williams to undergo arthroscopic knee surgery in September. He is now projected to sit the first 8-12 weeks working to rehab the knee that his own team rushed back into action. Oh yeah, and we didn’t even win the championship.

When you thought it couldn’t get worse, it definitely could. Ime Udoka proved all of the early critics wrong by leading the Celtics to a deep finals run. As a young coach and former player, Udoka seemed to be the next long lasting head coach for Boston. And it felt this way up until September 22nd when the Celtics released a statement which basically said they are suspending the head coach who brought a team that couldn’t win a game to save their lives in the beginning of the season all the way to the finals because he cheated on his already attractive girlfriend Nia Long. Things looked so good on the coaching standpoint, maybe too good that they had to get ruined. Both sides are at fault for this. For the front office, why suspend a promising head coach for the entire season when you have the best roster you have had in a while? And for Ime, why couldn’t you stick to Nia Long?

The Boston Red Sux

Chaim Bloom seemed to have made little to no effort this past offseason to maintain the winning team he had assembled in 2021. He let Kyle Schwarber walk and traded slugger Hunter Renfroe to the Brewers in exchange for a washed up Jackie Bradley Jr. In the 2022 regular season, Schwarber hit 46 bombs for the Phillies and Renfroe blasted 29 for the Brew’ Crew. Both of those totals would have ranked first on the Red Sox roster. 

There seems to be a trend with the Sox where they are good for one year and take a year off the next season. In 2013, the Sox won the World series but in 2014, they came in last place in the division. After their 2018 World Series championship, they came in third in the AL East, 19 games behind first place. And after making it to the ALCS last year, they have once again placed last in the AL East. Now I’m not saying the Red Sox haven’t been good in this millennium, but there is a trend of “First to Worst” happening in front of our eyes and it isn’t justified. 

As a big market team, the Red Sox have plenty of money each off season to spend on big-market superstars. However, the front office thinks the best approach is to “dink and doink” by signing great “utility” players to fill in the holes on the roster. This approach has failed repeatedly and it showed this year. They made skimpy offers for first baseman Freddy Freeman, shortstop Carlos Correa, and pitchers Carlos Ródon and Robbie Ray. Instead, they signed Trevor Story to a six year deal who ended up spending around half the season on the injured list, an eighth of it hitting home runs, and the rest striking out. Bloom also added the SPECTACULAR James Paxton (didn’t pitch in one game) and a 42 year old Rich Hill who loved throwing 89 mile per hour meatballs to the AL East all season. 

Not to mention, the Red Sox “praised” farm system didn’t show up besides for Triston Casas’s late year heroics. Bobby Dalbec is complete garbage, Brayan Bello (the so-called next Pedro Martinez) went 2-8, Jarren Duran spent the year traveling back and forth to Worcester, and Kutter Crawford posted a splendid 5.47 ERA. 

With much work to do this off-season, the Sox must start by signing their two superstars: Xander Bogaerts and Rafael Devers. They have reportedly made very soft offers to both of them, and Bogaerts and Devers aren’t too happy about it. They have both proven themselves and deserve to get the bag. If Chaim Bloom and the front office decide to save their money for a couple utility players who bat .230 each year, I will no longer be watching the Red Sox. 

At least we have the Patriots, right?

Wrong. After their mediocre 2-3 start to the season with their only wins coming against the NVP (Nickelodeon Valuable Player) Mitch Trubisky and a hospital ridden Detroit Lions team, New England has much to prove going forward. 

I would hope that I am not the only one that believes that Mac Jones is not the future. Ever since he was drafted, the fan base has portrayed him as the next Tom Brady, even though he is nowhere near that status. If you think about it, Jones only seemed like a franchise quarterback last year because as fans, we were coming off the 2020 season where we had to watch a washed up Cam Newton throw more interceptions than touchdowns. 

Jones passes look like wobbly huck ups instead of ultra-calculated missiles. And while he is accurate, the speed of his ball heavily hurts his efficiency as it allows defensive players to adjust and make plays on the ball. Jones was drafted into the league as a smart quarterback with precision on each pass, but it seems like on every single drive, he makes a head-scratching decision. With Josh McDaniels gone, the playbook has opened up and now he isn’t being forced to throw check downs every play. Jones is just flat out inconsistent, something that he cannot be if he wants to take his play to the next level. 

And while I just praised the offensive coaching staff for opening up the playbook, they aren’t really worthy of any compliments. Not to their fault however, as Joe Judge and Matt Patricia were thrown into offensive roles when they have been strictly defensive coaches in their careers. It is quite unfortunate that Bill Belichick still thinks that this team doesn’t need a true offensive mastermind, because they do. This team does not have Tom Brady anymore. This team does not have the greatest player of all time to make them look good. This team has a truckload of inexperienced players who need to learn a more modern system instead of being placed under the dictatorship of Bill Belichick’s recycled staff from when the team was once dominant. 

I also think it would be a wonderful idea to make use of the two tight ends that the Patriots signed for a combined $87,500,000. Through five games, they have combined for 16 catches, 153 yards, and 0 touchdowns. If I were to run an NFL team, I think I might center my offense around the players that we spent over FIFTY PERCENT of our free agency money on. Or maybe not, what do I know?

Unfortunately, there is a clear downward trend in New England sports. While us fans may not know how to react to this situation, I only have two tips before we sink into this dark hole of constant loss. Please, get used to losing, it is only going to get worse. And finally, appreciate each and every positive play, no matter the sport, because they are starting to become rare in New England.

Why Premier League Broadcasts Are About To Be Better Than Ever Before

Sam Posner

5. “Captain Fantastic,” 2019

The first entry on our list comes from only three years ago, and it served as the perfect exclamation point on a game that had truly captivated its audience. Manchester City had dominated the season up to that point, and a win would all but guarantee them the league title. However, on that particular day, City’s potent attack had been stymied by a Leicester City back line that would not give in. As the game approached its final moments, City fans prayed for a miracle, and those prayers would soon be answered. City captain Vincent Kompany, known more for his defensive prowess than offensive abilities, carried the ball through midfield and unleashed a powerful strike from about 30 yards out. The ball swerved unpredictably through the air, past Kasper Schmeichel (the Leicester City keeper) and into the back of the net, sending the Manchester City supporters into jubilee. As Kompany wheeled away in celebration, Drury punctuated the goal as only he could. “Captain Fantastic!!!!”, he exclaimed, referencing City manager Guardiola’s nickname for his player. “A wild celebration, for a goal from his wildest dreams… a fitting goal for a champion”, he continued. Drury’s assertion would come true, as City would go on to win the game that night, and the title six days later.

4. “Russia’s Party,” 2018

The next entry comes from the most recent World Cup, held in Russia, and Drury’s commentating would define the very ethos of the tournament. The Russian national team was good, but not great; they had made it to the knockout stage on the strength of some brilliant individual performances from Artem Dyzuba and Denis Cheryshev. Awaiting them in the round of 16 was Spain, arguably the greatest footballing nation of the 21st century so far. Spain had won the European Championships in 2008 and 2012, as well as the 2010 World Cup, and still had many of the stalwarts of those championship teams. As such, they were heavily favored to advance. However, after 90 minutes of regulation and 30 minutes of extra time, the two sides were deadlocked at one goal apiece, and the game would be decided by a penalty shootout. In the last round, Spanish striker Iago Aspas stepped up, needing to convert to extend the shootout. His effort was saved by Russian keeper Igor Akinfeev, and the home crowd erupted into bedlam, leading Drury to declare, “This is Russia’s party, and the party goes on! Crank up the music, charge a glass, this nation is going to dance all night!”. Although Russia would lose in the next round, that moment will live forever in the hearts of those who lived it, both in person and on television.

3. “Leicester’s Number Nine,” 2016

Though not the most defining moment of Leicester City’s title-winning 2015–16 season, entry number three certainly displayed Drury’s poetic prowess in a historic moment. Leicester hosted Manchester United for a game that would serve as the Foxes’ toughest test so far in a season where they had defied expectations. Simultaneously, Leicester striker Jamie Vardy took the pitch chasing not only a win, but history as well. Vardy had scored in his previous ten Premier League matches in a row, tying the record, and he would stand alone as the sole owner of the record if he could put one past United’s hulking goalkeeper David de Gea. In the 22nd minute, Vardy got his chance. Left-back Christian Fuchs played an intelligent ball in behind the United back line, putting Vardy one-on-one with de Gea. Vardy made no mistake, slotting home, and as he pulled away, Drury told the fans just how poetic the moment was. “Leicester’s number nine [Vardy’s number] beats ten [the amount of United outfield players] and scores 11 in a row!”, he proclaimed. Truly a fitting call, for a historic moment.

2. “Goal, Bafana Bafana,” 2010

Speaking of historic moments, this entry certainly provided a fitting backdrop to one. South Africa had been selected to host the 2010 World Cup, meaning that their national team automatically qualified for the tournament. This would be only their third World Cup, after years of poor performance as well as bans over their government’s horrific apartheid practices. Additionally, this would be the first ever World Cup held on African soil, adding pressure to the home side to represent not only their country, but their continent as well. The team, affectionately nicknamed “Bafana Bafana” by their fans, (roughly translating to “The Boys” in English) was determined to make up for lost time, and show what they could do on their home turf. They faced Mexico in their first game, and to the soundtrack of the home fans blasting their vuvuzelas, winger Siphiwe Tshabalala blasted a shot into the top corner to open the scoring. As Tshabalala and his teammates performed a celebratory Macarena, Drury bellowed the words that would introduce him to the soccer world: “Goal, Bafana Bafana! Goal for South Africa, goal for all Africa! Jabulile [referencing the South African fans], rejoice!”. South Africa would go on to draw that match, but unfortunately, they would not advance out of the group stage. The tournament may not have been a success for Bafana Bafana, but, for one moment, they stood atop the footballing world.

1. “Greek God in Rome,” 2018

This list has been full of artful commentary, but this one truly takes the cake. Barcelona, one of the most formidable sides in all of the world, visited the Stadio Olimpico in Rome to face AS Roma in the second leg of a Champions League quarterfinal matchup. Barcelona initially led 4-1 after the first leg, but Roma were able to claw back to within one goal, leading fans to wonder whether there might just be a chance. They wouldn’t have to wonder for long. In the 82nd minute, Roma forward Cengiz Under whipped in a corner, which was headed in by Greek center-half Kostas Manolas to complete the comeback and fire Roma through to the semi-finals of Europe’s premier club competition. As Roma celebrated, Barcelona players, coaches, and fans alike sat stunned at what they had just witnessed. As the scenes unfolded, Drury cried, “Roma have risen from their ruins! Manolas, the Greek God in Rome! The unthinkable unfolds before our eyes! This was not meant to happen, this could not happen, this is happening! Barcelona, extraordinarily, [are] eight minutes from elimination… It's a Greek from Mount Olympus, who has come to the Seven Hills of Rome and pulled off a miracle!”. Roma’s European journey would come to an end two games later against Liverpool, but thanks to Peter Drury, this dramatic comeback has been etched into the history books.