Advice and More
Confessions of a Woman in Team Sports
SATIRE
Jia Kumar
There are many unexpected benefits that come along with being an individual who comprises 50% of the female population of the Blue 4 Team Sports gym class section. Here are my top five:
The Locker Rooms Aren’t Crowded
That’s right! With only one other girl in my class and a few sophomores in and out, the girls’ locker room is nice and quiet, and is in fact quite spacious. I usually have a section all to myself, and I can do a multitude of things such as not using a stall, taking a bunch of selfies of my fits, and singing without being judged by anybody. (Side note: Another benefit is that I’m usually the best dressed in my class, in the midst of twenty-something shades of gray sweatpants.)
GPA Boost (The Occasional Free A+)
Whenever we get free time, everyone usually just plays basketball. More often than not, I was not invited to a team, and was just told to be the sub. (Spoiler alert: the sub never gets called in.) I can’t shoot around because I am disturbing their “game,” so there is really nothing that I can do. I get ten free participation points for the class by standing around and doing nothing. Even though I chose to take this class because I like sports, how do free participation points hurt anyone?
A Highly Encouraging Environment
Some of my very talented classmates will score multiple points in a basketball game, and no one would care. Whenever I score points, the crowd goes wild to the point that people on the other team are congratulating me. (And that says a lot, considering that this is the most competitive gym class at Natick High.) A while ago, the whole class applauded me because I mentioned that I had to take a road test. Being a woman, no one expects anything from me so I pretty much get congratulated for doing practically nothing!
Improvement in Athletic Skills
As a 5’4” individual in a room full of men, I have had to develop a new playing style in basketball. Due to the difference in height, one of my opponents will often just stand right in front of me after I stop dribbling, and I would be completely screwed because I honestly can’t reach. Whenever I’m on defense, putting my hands up is ineffective for the same reason. I have had to develop a unique playing style in order to keep up. I have also had to improve my pushup form drastically. I stopped sticking my butt out into the air in order to reduce the chances of someone staring at it (not that it would be my fault).
COVID-19 Protection
This is gym class. Realistically, it has been hard to breathe with a mask on (when the mask mandate was in place), so every now and then, I needed to lower it or take it off for a few seconds. Practically every time my mask came off, my male classmates showed a lot of concern for me by reminding me of the dangers of the COVID-19 pandemic. I couldn’t lower my mask without a stream of “JIA PUT YOUR MASK ON!” Most of them didn’t have their masks on either. The guys in the class felt that controlling me (the one woman, who needs the most protection of course) would be an effective measure to protect us all against COVID-19. It is amazing how my classmates prioritize my safety.
If you want to learn more, I encourage you to swing by the gym last period on Blue days. I will most likely be earning my daily participation points on the sidelines, or the one that everyone is high fiving for no apparent reason. You can say hi to me anytime. (But please don’t come to the girls’ locker room; I don’t want you to hear me sing.)