Tossed Salad

Hey, Nick, whatcha think of the stories everyone writes about us?

Eh—they're alright, I guess.

Alright? That's all?! I think they're great!

Are you selling cereal, Carrots?

Very funny. Seriously, though—don't you like them?

Sure—I just don't get as jazzed about them as you do. Remember what Hannah told us; it's just Hollywood stuff. When you're a celebrity—an Oscar-winning one, at that—people make up stuff about you.

Yeah, I know. But we get that kind of attention because—well—people actually like us. So we should feel honored. I do.

And we're irresistible.

What?

You forgot the part about how irresistible we are.

Okay, I'll humor you. Who told you that?

Ah, nobody per se, but Celery certainly seems to think so.

Aww—you mean Hannah? I think it's cute that you call her 'Celery'.

Well, she said it's her favorite veggie, so...and it goes well with carrots...If a fox has his Carrots and his Celery, what more does he need?! Crimini! You got me all sappy! Don't call me 'cute'!

Nice try, sweetheart…foxes don't have that rule!

Touche. But so what if we don't?! I just…

Admit it, you love us.

Okay, fine. Do I love you, Carrots? Yes, yes I do. But Celery's just a friend; she's not bad for a human.

I knew it! Wait 'til I tell…!

You wouldn't dare…!

I don't have to; you just did! She's putting this on her site, remember?

Crimini! Let's just talk about her stories, okay?

Okay, you dumb fox.

So—how about that Hannah Hare, huh?

I like her; she's fun.

Maybe so, but...ego trip much?! I mean, Celery named her after herself, for crying out loud!

Hey, play fair! We hang out at her house all the time. Did you ever consider that maybe she wishes she could hang out with us in the city?

You got me there, Carrots.

Good. Besides, she writes about Herb and Sam more than she does about Hannah Hare.

True...and those guys are kinda cool.

Yeah—and she has friends just like them. Lucky her.

It's neat how art imitates life and all that.

That's deep, Slick. I'm impressed.

Yeah? Huh—maybe Herb, Sam, and their respective counterparts are rubbing off on me.

'Respective counterparts'? If Gideon were here, he'd say, 'now there's some five-dollar words, Mr. Wilde!'

You don't say? In that case….Told you so!

I like how she puts music into her stories.

Ouch.

What?

You mean like that one where I'm on death row?!

No, not necessarily...That's not the only one with music in it.

Oh, so you're just going to ignore the fact that she almost offs me?!

I'm sorry—who was the one who said they're just stories?!

Fine, you win. At least the music Celery writes about is better than that Gazelle garbage.

I'm not going to dignify that with a response. About that story...Did you even read it?! There's a happy ending! How could there not be? You're just a harmless hustler, not a felon!

Loveable.

Excuse me?

I'm a harmless, lovable hustler.

If you say so…

Hey!

I'm kidding! Of course you are; don't be such a kit. You're kind of like the Cheshire Cat that way.

Which way?

See, you're spouting riddles already! No, I mean—he's a trickster, but he doesn't really want to hurt anybody.

Huh—that's an interesting idea you've got there, Carrots. Maybe Celery should write a story about it.

She might, if you ask nicely...

Do you think we'll get our own musical someday?

I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that.

Oh, c'mon! It would be fun!

I don't dance, remember? And singing?! No way!

I know you can dance; you just don't want to.

Yeah? What makes you so sure, sly bunny?

You got me there, Slick. But I just...know. I'll bet you can sing, too.

What's that supposed to mean?! Am I secretly your Prince Charming?

No need for the smirk, Slick, because I don't really think it's a secret.

Say what now?!

You know, 'WildeHopps'. I guess you could say that everybunny who's anybunny thinks so.

Oh, so only over-emotional creatures with more fluff than brains?

You take that back!

Make me.

Why you…! Hmm, well...Hannah's dad thinks we're together. He's not exactly the sappy type.

Okay, so we'll invite him to the wedding.

Excuse me?!

What?!

So you do want to get married!

Whoa, easy Carrots! You're making Clawhauser look like Grumpy Cat!

I love you, Nick.

I can't be sure that wasn't the hype talking, but...back at you.

...

But stay with me on this, okay? Musical, not happening. Wedding—we'll get there.

Aww, Nick! But, wait...what if I want our wedding to be a musical?

Then—so help me, Gazelle—I'll do it.

Wow! You really think we could get Gazelle to officiate?

That is NOT what I said…!

What do you mean it's not…? Psych! But a wise fox once said it better...It's called a hustle, sweetheart.

You got that right. I've also said...sly bunny.

Dumb fox.

Hey, Nick, don’t we have something special to tell everybody?

Why don’t you do the honors, Carrots?

Aw, but it would be more fun if we did it together!

Okay—Ack! Not the sad bunny face! I said, ‘okay’! Listen up, folks, we…

Got…

Blueberries. Want some?

NICK!

I’m just joking, Carrots! In case you haven’t noticed, it’s kinda my thing. So, we got hitched.

Yup, April 14^th, 2018. We’ll even show you the certificate.

Celery signed it, she brought along a bunch of her friends...it was a nice shindig.