Ready Player Bun

Ready Player Bun

When you’re friends with the mayor, you get lots of perks: private audiences, exclusive access to L&P after-hours, and all the advice you could ever want. Well...to be fair, only if that mayor is Herb H. Horse. But if you are his friend, it’s true: you get all that, plus he lets you test out all the technological pilots that come his way. (Fun fact: he may be a bookworm at heart, but he likes tinkering with gadgets, too.) That’s how I discovered MAGIC.

Sort of.

MAGIC stands for Multi-media Auto-Generated Interactive Computing. It’s a virtual reality game that allows you to go anywhere and do...basically whatever you can imagine. You can even disguise your facial expressions, your voice... And, yes, in MAGIC, ‘anyone can be anything’...literally. Sir Horse and I like being ourselves, but I think ours is the unpopular opinion. After all, if you’re an elephant, your avatar can be a mouse. If you’re a mouse, it can be a rhino. If you’re a rhino, you can be a gazelle. Not the Gazelle, but you can dress like her. It’ll cost you, though.

In MAGIC, you win coins by playing games—either PVP (player vs. player combat—ugh) or old-school board games or trivia. I prefer the latter, but even then, if I’m feeling lazy, I’ll pick the one thing I know I’ll do well in—pop culture trivia.

When I first got into MAGIC, I was pretty overwhelmed by the offerings, so I only used it as a chat room. Sir Horse had only given a select few a chance to try it, but he didn’t release the list of early adopters—not even to one another. But he used it occasionally, so we’d squeeze more quality time into our schedules by meeting that way. Thanks to the Multi-Use Sensory Extensions (MUSEs—I appreciate that acronym), it was like being in the same room with him. That was nice, since I felt alone in a strange universe that was both there and not there. Once I got used to MAGIC, I figured out I could use it for ‘me-time’. From there, I realized I’d much rather mess around in the Art Studio or redecorate my house than play games.

Oh, I almost forgot: players can select a virtual dwelling and “live” in any one of thousands of environments. Some mirror Zootopian neighborhoods, but others are based on classic movies, history...you name it. I “moved” to Outback Island as soon as I got here. I’ve never been to the real one, even in all those years with Johnny. He preferred to visit me while touring the city. Anyway—I play just enough games to keep my accessory budget in the black.

Basically, this place is paradise. Or it would be, except for… “Hello, my dear, dear doe.” Cody. He’s my next-door neighbor here, a white Bengal tiger with blazing blue eyes, a booming, genteel, Outback-accented voice, and the sweetest smile...plus a propensity for bad poetry. I don’t mean to be mean, he’s great, but he keeps trying to court me, and—in case you haven’t heard—I’m in love with Lory.

I know I should let Cody down easy, but I don’t have the heart to tell him—especially because, besides Sir Horse, he’s my only friend here. Speaking of, I’ve asked Sir Horse what to do, and he says to be honest. That’s great advice, but it’s easier said than done when you counted on living out your days loving a kind, compassionate koala and making beautiful music together (in more ways than one). I never thought I’d fall in love again, and now that I have, I don’t want to mess it up. But, on the other paw, I know how it feels not to be loved the way you deserve by the one you care about. So no way am I crushing Cody’s dreams, either.

“Cody Lawrence, how many times do I have to tell you to knock first?!” I’m teasing, because MAGIC doesn’t have doors; you just teleport where you want to go. But it’s polite to send a text or video message first. Still, I did tell Cody he’s always welcome, so…

“I’m sorry, darling. I was just wondering if you wanted to play ‘Showbiz Jeopawrdy! with me today.”

“You just want to beat me at the Shakesbeare clues,” I say.

“True,” he admits, “but you’re bound to best me at everything else.” Also true. Cody loves him some Shakesbeare (Sir Horse would be impressed), but he barely knows anything about the current crop of stars. I glance at the coin count in the corner of my display; it’s disappointingly low.

“Let’s do it,” I grin.

Several hours (and seven thousand coins!) later, we’re back at my place. “Sometimes I still can’t believe you know so much about Shakesbeare. It’s disturbing.” Cody roars with laughter. “Shakesbeare was a genius, darling,” he purrs. “It pays to know his work.” I guess so...Five-thousand coins isn’t a bad haul.

“But pop culture is more fun.”

“For you, maybe, but it’s too transient for me. I need something that lasts.” His words linger in the silence between us as his bold blue eyes take on a sultry simmer and bore into my soul. Shakesbeare is off the table now...he’s talking about us. Like it or not, I know what I have to do.

“Cody, listen. I like you, but I’m not in the market for a relationship right now. I have someone who’s very important to me, and...I’m in love with him.”

The light in Cody’s eyes dims, his posture sags, and he lets out a long sigh. “Alright, then. I’ll see you around, I suppose. Be happy, my dear.” He gives me a sad smile and disappears. I feel terrible. Restless, I log out of MAGIC and call it a night.

The next morning, I log back in and begin a new routine—researching L.A. Weinger, the creator of MAGIC. Weinger is something of an enigma—at least that’s what Sir Horse said when he was showing me the ropes. Back then, there was so much to explore that I didn’t give Weinger much thought, but I figured he (or she) must be fascinating in order to have dreamed all this up.

I start with the obvious—Zoogle. There’s lots of results, but most of them are just speculation. For example, nobody knows what species Weinger is. There are a lot of theories out there, but, based on the name alone, most mammals think he’s either a bird (though which breed is anyone’s guess), or some kind of canine.

Word is Weinger doesn’t welcome being photographed. The page I’m looking at now has an artist’s rendering of a long, skinny brown dog with floppy ears and a pointed snout. What the heck?! Do those even exist?! If so, I’ve certainly never seen one before. My money’s on bird.

The rest of the info is pretty consistent: Weinger created MAGIC on a whim. He went to school to study acting, but couldn’t quite fit in. He wanted to be able to be himself and still be free to experiment with acting, but couldn’t find a happy medium. So, he created one. But then he met a new acting teacher, went back to studying, and his career took off. He’s been at it ever since, and he’s never even played his own game.

I had decided to call Weinger a ‘he’ just to save time, but with a day of searching behind me, I was no closer to an answer than I’d been before. After I logged out and settled into bed, I wondered, absently, what Cody would say about this. Too bad I couldn’t ask him.

I tossed and turned all night, worrying that I’d burned that bridge. Yet by the time I got up the next morning—bleary-eyed but determined—I believed I was onto something. Cody had surprised me with his Shakesbeare knowledge...What other random stuff did he know? If nothing else, I could make sure we’d still be on good terms; that in and of itself would be rewarding.

Back in MAGIC, the first thing I did was text Cody:

It’s me. I never meant to hurt your feelings. You deserve better. Please come over. You don’t even have to knock. :)

Cody was there in an instant.“There’s my hare. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize, darling. You did the right thing.”

“Thanks.” I smiled. “Since you’re here, can you help me solve a mystery?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Do you know anything about L.A. Weinger?” Cody smiled. And—call me crazy—but I got the feeling his smile didn’t belong to him.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I know he’s a bird, and that he’s utterly obsessed with a leporine on wheels.” My eyebrows almost touched my ears. That was oddly specific. I was so caught off-guard that I couldn’t help the nervous giggle that escaped me.

“You sure get around!” I quipped.

“No, not much, really. I only go where I want to be.” It was as though that sentence was spoken in slow motion; word-by-word, all of the distinguishing traits of Cody’s voice faded away, until all that remained was the cadence, joined by a tone, timbre, and tenderness that I’d come to know as surely as my own name.

“Lory…?!”

“You found me.” This was accompanied by the endearingly cautious chuckle I knew so well.

“But that means you’re also…!”

“Lawrence Arthur Weinger, acting student-turned-tech prodigy. I probably would have kept at it, spinning my wheels--”he chuckled again “--if I hadn’t met...”

“Caws,” I whispered in awe.

“Right again...darling.” I gasped. So—all that was for me?! All this time?!

“You remembered!” I beamed. After a moment, I started to laugh.

“So many times, I’ve said to myself, ‘Lory would hate it here…!”

“Mostly I do. I added too many bells and whistles. Like that PVP garbage. But I’m glad others enjoy it. I’m here to communicate and express myself. When I realized you were part of the trial, I wanted to let you know that I care about you; I haven’t said that enough yet.”

I had to catch my breath. “Lory...All you ever have to do to impress me is be kind, be careful, be yourself. And you have.”

“What’s to ‘be careful’ about?”

“Don’t overwhelm yourself. If a disguise is what you needed to be confident around me at first, that’s okay. But I hope you’re more comfortable now.”

“I am.”

“Good. Because I have a fourth thing to add to that list.”

“Really…?” he asked, and suddenly, I saw it—the intensity in those eyes couldn’t belong to anyone but Lory.

“Yep. Be at my apartment in an hour.”

When Lory arrived at my door, I had to resist throwing myself at him. “I’m so happy to see you! I mean, really see you…!” Lust rushed through me as I looked him up and down. He simpered.

“Likewise. I was in the neighborhood, so I flew here to save time.” Wow! He was in a hurry to see me!

We settled onto my couch, and Lory gazed into my eyes again. “So...You’ve likely guessed that Lory Birdton is my stage name. But it’s my preferred one, and what all my friends call me. Like, for instance, Keith Rooney—or Keith Roo, for short—who helped me design MAGIC. We’re delighted by a lot of the same things, so it was a joy to work with him.”

“That sounds like fun. But where did you get all the pop culture trivia from?” If Keith is that much like Lory, there’s no way he’s into it.

“For those, I enlisted the help of someone you might know,” Lory told me, smiling. “Benjamin Clawhauser?” My eyes went wide.

“Ben?! Oh my gosh! That’s why all the Gazelle questions are worth extra points!” When his eyes twinkled in response, I was transfixed…then, suddenly reminded of something.

“What about Cody?”

“Well...As I mentioned, it wasn’t my intention to deceive you; I just wanted to buy some time. Once I knew how you felt, I was thrilled—but it was clear that Cody would feel just the opposite. So that’s where good acting came in.” He winked; I swooned a little.

“But...Cody was the one who introduced me to all my favorite spots—Outback Island, trivia, even the Art Studio.” I paused just as an epiphany hit me. “You were trying to woo me, weren’t you?”

“Yes.” he grinned. “And what a grand Shakesbearian word for you to choose.” His second statement would have been adorable as all-get-out—if he hadn’t said it in his Hans Condor imitation.

I winced. “Listen—I don’t mean to disrespect anyone, but...Keep the tricks to a minimum today, please?”

“I’ll try,” Lory said.

“Thank you. I’d also like to point out that, in order to woo someone, they can’t love you already.”

“Semantics,” shrugged Lory. “Besides, I was only showing you things I knew you’d like. I wasn’t counting on you finding out—not that you aren’t brilliant, but you understand me well enough to know I wouldn’t show up there.”

“But Cody would.” Lory nodded.

“Because he could. I know you have a fondness for tall, cuddly types with charisma. Add the right accent, and you’d have a soft spot for him.”

“All excellent points,” I admitted, blushing. “I bet you didn’t even use the voice-changer.”

“Oh, but I did. I had to distort it a bit, because you have a keen ear...Just now, you recognized my tone almost immediately." I nodded, still reeling.

“But...Cody had blue eyes...”

“Well, all white Bengal tigers have them, for one thing. But, if they’d been brown, you might have suspected something. Not to mention...”

“What?!”

“Brown eyes mesmerize you. They’re your weakness. You fall pretty hard for them.”

My poor Lory was so unsure of his own charm that his biggest competition was...himself. The whole thing struck a nerve, so of course I laughed a little. “Lory—your tricks are wonderful, fun, and profoundly moving, but I love you. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced it was love at first sight, before I even knew what you’re all about.”

“That’s very kind of you, darling.” My heart melted, even as I held my ground.

“That’s the truth,” I said firmly. But he was right about one thing: I couldn’t hold his gaze for more than a second or two without feeling a visceral reaction—warm fuzzies from my ears to my feet. I sighed, sensing that swoon would soon return. “I love you, Lory.” I might have fallen from my chair if he hadn’t wrapped me in his wings and kissed me...and, sure enough, a swoon swept over me like a tsunami.

“Well, now what?” Lory asked as he lay back on the couch. I giggled, because the phrase was so typically Lory.

“What do you mean?”

“I want to spend more time with you, but we’re both married to our schedules.” He had a point; even without obligations, we still stick, steadfast, to our own routines.

“Let’s see...We can make time to see each other every week...or every other, if you’re busy.” I offered.

“Done.” Wow! Unable to contain myself, I did a little dance in my seat. Then I saw that sparkle in his eyes, and desire lightened my heart and flowed, heavy and heady, into my belly.

“MAGIC!” he exclaimed, euphoric.

“What about it?” I asked, still in a dreamy daze.

“We can move in together there!” I was ecstatic.

“That’s the best idea I’ve ever heard! Then we can have the best of both worlds! But...promise me you’ll use it more?”

“I promise.”

In one fell swoop (how can anyone—especially a bird—fall and swoop at the same time?!) Lory held my paw as he knelt on the floor in front of me. “Hannah Snowshoe Hare, will you do me the honor of moving in with me in MAGIC?” I couldn’t stop smiling.

“You’re being theatrical again...”

“I’m an actor. It’s what I do!” I tsked when he snuck a little Hans Condor in there, but I was too excited to be annoyed.

“Yes, of course I’ll move in with you at MAGIC,” I told him. “But I’d like my Lory to ask me first—no tricks.”

“Will you? Please?!” he pleaded; I was hypnotized by those eyes of his.

“Yes, I will.” It was my turn to kiss him this time.

We stayed up all night talking and making some magic of our own—by which I mean sneaking kisses and cuddles—and fell asleep on my couch in the wee hours of the morning. We hadn’t moved all day.

When we woke up, we went straight for MAGIC. I put it in multi-player mode, we put on our MUSEs, and in a few clicks, had our houses right up against each other. I moved the knicknacks on my left wall to a table across the room, stuck the shelves back in my inventory, and…

“Is your wall clear yet, darlin’?”

“All clear, darling.” We laughed.

“Open the menu to delete your wall,” I said. “We’ll do it together on three, okay?”

“You bet!”

“One...”

“Two...”

Three!”

That’s how we went from having two lovely little MAGIC houses to having one marvelous and grand MAGIC house. I know, I know...I caught Lory’s theatrics. But I couldn’t help it. He’s shared his own spellbinding magic with me...online and off.