Hot Cross Bun

Hot Cross Bun

Chapter One

Judy Wilde-Hopps paced the living room of the apartment she shared with her foxy husband, Nick, who watched her with interest. “Why so fidgety, Fluff?” Judy didn’t reply immediately, as she was inwardly cursing the evolutionary shift that enabled a bunny to procreate with a fox.

“Look at me! I’m a blueberry!” Judy had made the mistake of trying to squeeze into her pre-pregnancy police uniform; the absence of work in the final stretch had made her stir-crazy. Nick smirked slightly.

“If this were October, you could be Violet Beauregard for Halloween.” Judy just glared at her guy; she didn’t have the energy to berate him for his usual wisecracks, so she kept talking, hoping like heck that the venting would help.

“And it’s so stuffy in here! I haven’t been this hot since...”

“That day you busted me for tax evasion and threw my line back at me. That’s when I thought, ‘woah, this bunny is bodacious!’” Judy’s ears perked up at the praise, and, paws on hips, she simmered down enough to smile.

“Seriously?!”

“You know you love me,” answered Nick with a wink.

Invigorated by the tod’s attention, Judy shrugged and stated, “well, they say you are what you eat!...And I have been craving blueberries lately.” She’d been so lost in thought that she almost didn’t notice Nick suddenly re-enter the room with a carton of the coveted fruit, chomping pawfuls as he went. “Hey!”

“Oh, you want these?” He sighed, feigning disappointment. “I wasn’t going to share, but...okay.” He patted the place next to him on the couch, inviting her to sit. She did—and rewarded herself with a pawful of berry bliss for her efforts.

“You know, Slick, if the ‘you are what you eat’ thing is true, you’re more of a blueberry than I am! But, actually”—she giggled around another bite-- “you look more like a carrot…!” The fox’s eyes widened in surprise before he straightened up and replied,

“Do not hate me because I am beautiful.” They both burst out laughing; the sheer ridiculousness of the conversation had been exactly what Judy needed.

Chapter Two

Dr, Gracie Dee Grisleigh had been recommended to the Wilde-Hopps by Sam Lapin. Sam had described the good doctor with two important distinctions: she was an IPS, or Interspecies Procreation Specialist...and “a riot”.

When Judy went to her first prenatal appointment, she brought Nick along for moral support. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to give the physician wholesome family vibes; first impressions are key. Judy knew that just because the latter didn’t matter much to her and Nick when they met didn’t mean the concept couldn’t count for something.

And did it ever.

The bear had burst into their exam room on a fluffy white cloud full of sunshine and smiles. When Judy greeted her with a slightly shy, “hi, Dr. Grisleigh,” the divine ursine chuckled.

“None of this ‘Dr. Grisleigh’ business, honey. Y’all just call me Gracie Dee.”

“I’m Judy, and this is my husband Nick.”

“Enchanted, I’m sure.” Nick took the sow’s paw and kissed it, deciding that if she was free to fly her drama flag, so was he.

“Oh, you got yourself a real catch here, Ms. Judy! Pleased to meet ya, Nicky honey.” That was how, right then and there, the Wilde-Hopps decided they’d stick with the bear.

Gracie Dee had prescribed Judy something called Sound & Round--a prenatal vitamin designed specifically for mothers expecting interspecies kits. She said that the supplement was meant to keep one’s “lady parts” safe from the stronger claws and teeth that might appear based on a partner’s characteristics.

Gracie also told them that there was a 50% chance the litter would consist of purebred rabbits and foxes. As for the other half--some couples with stats similar to the Wildes had kits that were a mixture of both. The prospective parents were fascinated by this, even as Nick observed with a shrug: “Doesn’t matter what their features are. With our DNA, they’ll be outrageously good-looking.”

Chapter Three

So far all of Judy’s appointments had gone smoothly. In fact, she was down to her last one, due to welcome the Wilde kits very soon. But on the day of said appointment, Judy flatly refused to get out of bed. “I can’t go out looking like this!”

“C’mon,” coaxed Nick. “That’s not the go-getter Carrots I know.” Judy groaned.

“She’s been benched until further notice.”

“Aw, cheer up, Fluff...You’re almost to the finish line.” The rabbit rolled her eyes.

“If you trade places with me and go into labor, then you can use the sports metaphors.” Nick chuckled, muttering under his breath.

“You started it...”

“Okay, Hopps, level with me. What’s it gonna take to get you to Gracie’s on time, eh? More blueberries? A foot massage?” A thought came to him, and he winced, but—ever the negotiator--his voice didn’t falter. “If I volunteer to be solely responsible for diaper duty the whole first year, will you get up?” Judy struggled into a sitting position, and Nick’s teeth clenched as nerves got the best of him. Then she deftly jumped out of the bed, and his jaw hit the floor.

“I may think and act differently than most of my family, but I’m still a bunny. We’re pros when it comes to procreation, pregnancy, and multi-tasking; we don’t even bat an eyelash.” She brushed past him and added with a smile, “By the way...It’s called a hustle, sweetheart.”

“Good!” Nick called after her, “Because I was about to pick you up and plop you into Finnick’s stroller. Bet you’d have a great time explaining that one to Gracie, huh?”

As it turned out, even with their competitive chemistry compelling them to get going on time, they ended up five minutes late. But Gracie—mama bear to a passel of cubs herself—understood that the road to parenthood had its ups and downs. “How y’all doin’ today?” she asked gently, her eyes filled with genuine concern.

“Sorry we’re late. It’s just that my Hot Cross Bun here picked today to pull a hustle over on me.” Judy rolled her eyes again, and Gracie gave a little gasp.

“I don’t like gettin’ up in folkses business more than I hafta—I mean, this sow’s no shrink—but what on earth did you just call your wife, Mr. Wilde?! It sure didn’t soun’ good.”

This time, both Judy and Nick were in on the joke. “‘Hot Cross Bun’. As in, she’s a sexy rabbit who’s bound to have at least one fox in the breadbox’!” Gracie laughed uproariously—as she often did.

“Woo! Oh, that’s good. ‘Cause she’s one fly bunny! And ‘breadbox ‘stead of breadbasket…!” She gave another snort of laughter, then sniffed back a tear. “You two are gonna rock that parenting thing. Y’all are tons of fun!”

Chapter Four

“I’m still in awe of the way you faked me out, Carrots.” Nick smiled at her as they sat chatting in their apartment. Gracie had advised Judy to take it easy these last few days, and Nick was right there with her, because he loved her—plus, having an excuse to loaf around wasn’t bad, either.

“I know I’ve put you through the wringer, Slick. I’d gotten so sick and tired of being sick and tired that when I started feeling better that day, I just had to...!” She winked at him, her gaze sultry.

“Had to what? Get my goat?” Judy cracked up.

“Nick!” With a shrug, she added, “You said it, not me.”

“Well, hey—I am the G.O.A.T. Always have been, and I fully intend to continue my ‘Greatest Of All Time’ streak by excelling at fatherhood.”

“You will, Nick.” Judy spoke softly, suddenly overcome by emotion at the thought. By now she knew that no mammal is perfect, but her husband’s humor, charm, courage, and heart helped him come pretty darn close.

“And you, sweetheart, will make a marvelous mother.” After a minute or two, genuine smile he wore morphed into something closer to a smirk as he added, “...Who will finance the clothespins that I will invariably need to survive diaper duty.” Judy laughed.

“I was joking, Slick. I wouldn’t do that to you. We’re partners.” He should have been glad to receive that reprieve, but all he could do was revel in the affection her eyes held for him. As a thousand love-filled, lust-tinged thoughts raced through his mind, one stood out: The fact that this brave, beautiful bunny with boundless generosity was going to be the mother of his kits never ceased to amaze him.

“See? You know you love me.” Raising her paw to his lips, he kissed it. Judy giggled.

“Do I know that? Yes, yes I do...ooh!”

An expression of profound pain crossed Judy’s features, and Nick was out of his seat faster than you could say, “This is not a drill…!”

Chapter Five

A few hours later, almost two years to the day of their wedding anniversary, Nick Wilde and Judy Wilde-Hopps became parents to a litter of four cuddly kits. Mom and babies were doing great, getting to know each other while Nick napped in a corner of their hospital room. Gracie had been the attending physician; after giving her patients a clean bill of health, she indulged in a few minutes of social time. “These guys and gals have gotta be the sweetest I have ever seen!” Even when whispering, the sow’s excitement was evident. “An’ trus’ me, I’ve seen lotsa little ‘uns in my time!” She smiled and went on, with reverence in her tone, “Congratulations, Judy! What are y’all gonna name these precious furballs?”

“We’re still on the fence,” Judy admitted, “But we’ve narrowed it down...” She was interrupted by a startling snore, after which Nick began to stir, then came fully awake and bolted from his chair, beaming at the sight of his wife and kits. As he gazed at the group—two boys and two girls—he grinned, “I’ve made my choices, Judy. This one,” he declared, locking eyes with a tiny tod, “is Nathan Benjamin—we’ll call him ‘Nate’. And this one will be Beatrix Juniper.” He bonded with the small but bright-eyed bunny by holding out a careful claw, which she grasped gently. “Can we call her ‘Junie?’” Their mother was ecstatic.

“Of course we can!” Clarity came to Judy in that moment.

“This is Oliver Oscar,” she announced, snuggling up to her bunny son. “And this,” she proclaimed, caressing the coat of her vixen daughter, “is Nicole Lillian.” Nick couldn’t have been happier with those two names, especially when the Judy looked lovingly into his eyes and added,

“She’s named after you.”

That was the first of many adventures that the Wilde-Hopps family would share.