Everyday Ways to Show Kindness

Hailie's article explores how kindness can be shown and the ways it can benefit others and ourselves.

Everyday Ways to show kindness

By Hailie Zintzun

It is known in all places, in all varieties of life and culture. It has been present since the ancient times of humanity. It is the one constant. It will never be forgotten or go out of style. Kindness is able to reach across all boundaries, all invisible walls that divide the beings of the world. While it can be simple to recognize kindness and to appreciate it, there is far more difficulty regarding the practice in these modern times. Showing kindness, being the one to distribute it, has become a complex feat despite its nature. Surely, it should be easy enough-- as kindness requires little time, expense, or worry; yet with social isolation, communication barriers, and peer-pressure expectations rising in the past few years, kindness has fallen slightly to the wayside. Instead of being the common practice it was meant to be, it is now a specialty, something reserved for the right occasion. There are many ways to express kindness and perhaps, by doing so more often, the world could be just a little brighter than what it has grown into.

Photo Credit:World Youth Alliance

Kindness has the ability to be conducted through a variety of means. It can be shown through a small compliment or a grand gesture, with many words or none at all. For those who wish to provide kindness in a way that can be used every day, the action of holding open the door for others or offering your help to coworkers or peers who seem to be struggling can be the answer. If one’s financial standing allows, paying for the next person in a drive-thru or donating to a local charity can be a good way to anonymously spread kindness in one’s community. One of the most underrated forms of kindness is being there for someone. Having a shoulder to cry on or a person to talk to is important for managing stress and alleviating loneliness. As Select Health states, “A lot of the time, we only listen to respond. Being there to listen intently to a friend or family member can relieve stress, pressure and anxiety.” Often, people have a tendency to fall back into their own internal world, not giving a thought to their surroundings. By doing this, the people around us can feel left out or ignored. While it may seem unnecessary, making the people around oneself feel acknowledged and seen can be a very impactful form of kindness. In a case where one is unsure or wary of how to kindly express themselves, they can rely on commonplace manners or a compliment. Even the most infinitesimal gestures of kindness can make a large impact on someone. Something as simple as a smile can be enough to brighten a person’s day. It is not always easy to have a cheerful disposition, but if one aims for this, they may find that they improve not only the mood of the people around them, but their own, as well!

There are several proven benefits of kindness. Kindness can help produce hormones that can create a happier, more at-ease sense of being. According to the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, “Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the ‘love hormone’ which aids in lowering blood pressure and overall heart health. Oxytocin also increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is extra helpful when we’re anxious or shy in a social situation.” Kindness not only improves upon our mental state of being but our physical, as well. Certain people, after experiencing kindness, have reported that they have less physical pain and fewer aching sensations. In some cases, the average lifespan of an individual can be more likely to be longer after receiving, witnessing, or participating in kind actions. Kindness is able to make one feel more energized and strong, with feelings of depression and low self-worth being significantly decreased. A study that took place at the University of Ohio found that kindness has a generally positive effect. Participants had generally elevated symptoms of depression or anxiety and were asked to either perform an act of kindness, partake in social activities, or participate in a short intervention based on cognitive reappraisal therapy. The American Psychiatric Association states, “All three interventions were found to reduce symptoms, lessen distress, and improve life satisfaction. The acts of kindness, however, showed greater benefits for social connection than either of the other two interventions.” By making kindness a priority in one’s life, one can only imagine how these benefits could be regularly applied. It is certainly never bad for one to be actively trying to show and spread kindness to others, but it is essential to remember that kindness towards oneself is just as important.

Photo Credit: SimplyTalk Counseling

For some, being able to hold positive feelings for oneself can be a difficult feat. It is not unusual for a person to be overly critical of their own actions, thoughts, or behavior. In situations where one finds themselves having these negative notions, it is good to take a breath and try to give some slack. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, it is helpful to treat oneself like they would a close friend. Try to ask yourself: Would I say this to my good friend? What would I do to help them feel better? Dissociating with one’s own ideas of oneself can reveal that a person is holding themself to an unreasonable standard or being too judgmental of their actions. While it can be beneficial to reflect and try to do or be better in the future, it should not be to the extent where it is seriously damaging one’s own self-esteem or preventing them from moving forward. In the opinion of TED Conferences, the famous organization responsible for ‘TED Talks’, “When you are self-compassionate, you’re actually doing something very specific for yourself— you’re noticing difficult thoughts, showing up for them, and creating a sense of psychological safety for yourself.” Some ways to combat negative self-associations are to try taking a break to do an activity one is fond of or confident in. This may aid in the release of endorphins and boost feelings of self-worth. No matter what one may choose to call it, having a good relationship with oneself can be a wonderful, positive experience that is worth the self-care and work.

There are some situations where a person may hold themselves back from being kind. Social expectations, peer pressure, and the reclusive common behavior of people in this day and age have caused kindness to be something to be slightly frightened of, as it has been taken away from a place of normalcy. Even when one is not as affected by these factors, anxiety or self-doubt can play a part in keeping an individual away from a kind act. However, it should be noted that kindness costs nothing, and it is often more appreciated than it is frowned upon. The many benefits for both mental and physical health that stem from this sort of compassion are astonishing and should not be taken lightly. Even when it may seem the contrary, for most, there is a natural human desire to receive and present compassion. It is not as important that kindness be shown in a big way as it is to show kindness every day. After all, nothing but good can come from being a little more caring and compassionate to yourself and those around you.

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