In this column, find out the comical side of AI as we ask it life's greatest questions.
ASK AI
By Lillie Olson
This AI system responds to a question that you input and takes it down rabbit holes. For entertainment reasons, we ask it random questions and find humor in the output it returns to us. This specific AI tends to lean toward a more brutally emotional take on topics. Some entries will make no sense and have unpredictable responses. The AI grammar will not be edited for authenticity. No offense is meant and no questions are targeted. Enjoy the ride!
AI chatbot questioned: Inferkit Demo
Query: Predict what will happen to the seniors at Grants Pass High School?
AI: The catastrophic events that unfolded in May are far from over.
Just this week, 12 seniors were arrested and charged with a slew of felonies. While the staff now has the mental strength to press on, the families, the community, and the kids themselves are not yet at peace.
"These kids need counseling, I know that from experience. They need help." - quoted by an Inferkit Demo AI source
Response: Don't commit felonies, seniors. We have high hopes for you... most of you; Urban Institute explains how 18 to 24-year-olds are the age range most likely to commit crimes. Don't be a statistic.
Query: Who is Riley?
AI: I've heard from Dan, who started the internet romance I mentioned, that Riley got some feelings of his own back.
Riley is the arrogant CEO of a multi-national corporation. I've never heard of him, but he is the living embodiment of what I didn't like about these men. Unlike the other three gentleman, he seems to take a shine to Riley. He calls her all the time, and he "surprises" her with little gifts. Riley isn't really sure how to take that.
Response: It seems the AI cannot determine Riley's gender. Or perhaps there are two Rileys in this story. However, the AI hints at having a problem with American corporate male figures. Gentlemen do still exist in our world. Just look with an eagle eye.
Query: Why does math exist?
AI: There is no real reason for math.
It's just useful to dumb kids who want to make dumber people.
We're all dumb kids, so we should be.
The Day the Earth Died.
Response: Personally, I might feel attacked, but I am unsure because I graduated from math classes a few years ago. Also, random rabbit hole with the world ending, but there was no add-on after that. Perhaps it's a sign; math will be our end.
Query: How many times will Lillie sneeze this time?
AI: through her nose?
how many times will lillie hold her breath
as she waits for a sneeze
before it makes it through
are we running out of time?
whats the hardest thing about being a girl?
She needs an hour of breathing
two of napping
take a break
she is running
can we take her to the ER
A fever is a sign of a virus, not a medical emergency
if you wait it out
that will be okay
am i gonna need to say "dont call this number ever"
Response: She sounds unstable. How else would one sneeze if not from their nasal canals? How bad do the sneezes have to be to make her run out of life while having an existential crisis about being a woman? There are beliefs out there that a sneeze stops your heart and that is why we say 'bless you.' However, it has been medically studied to show that you cannot die from a sneeze. Healthline says your heart may be delayed but will resume its natural rhythm within a second or two.
Query: Talk to me about hair clips.
AI: Outside of Italy, hair clips were virtually unknown until the 1800s. They were referred to as hames.
As modern technology became more affordable, hair clips were produced in a wide range of shapes and colors and styles.
The name 'hairclip' originates from the earliest 18th century European hair-clipping guides. They were written in the form of needlepoint or pencil embroidery patterns. The earliest Victorian hair clips were decorated with eyelet lace and usually contained some floral pattern.
At the start of the 19th century, the English word 'clip' was first used as a word to describe hair clamps in reference to children's toys and rubber hair bands.
The young Ladies' Binder
As the 1860s began, hair clips had been exported to America, They had arrived in an abundance by way of West Indian seamen. They were called 'ship clips,' 'gull clips' or Hair Clippers' and were used to clip up sailor's hair when on deck. By the late 1860's, there were many popularly known brands such as; marney, Pennington, DeVick, Ruggles, and Thomas & Ballock. Pennington advertised hair clamps "an indispensable aid in hairstyling" and claimed they had been invented "for our hair, to smooth the bonnet, and to shorten the tails."
Response: After some research, the actual origins are not commonly agreed upon. Some say they were born in France, Oyonnax by a man named Christian Potut in 1989 who wanted to make more money by combining combs and clips. Others say hair clips were more traditional and religious symbols used long before the 1900s in ancient Greece, Rome and China. It looks like the AI generator was grabbing abstract details and making a story out of them instead of finding facts. Either way, 'hair clips' have evolved over time, starting from pins and needles and expanding to florals and eventually to our modern version.
https://tegenaccessories.com/blogs/tegen-accessories-blog-posts/claw-clips