Meltdowns

What Is a Meltdown?

A) Triggers – What causes it?

When it comes to a meltdown, there is very rarely just one trigger to identify. Meltdowns are caused by overload — as if the person experiencing the meltdown were a bowl of rice that had slowly gotten too full. The grains of rice will eventually start cascading down and falling out of the sides of the bowl, bringing other grains with them, which, up until that point, were stable.

An example may be a child who has been looking forward to something all day, only to find out that it is no longer possible. The excitement and anticipation were already a bit much for the child to handle for such a long period, and now, piled on by the intense disappointment, it has sent them into emotional overload. They may drop to the floor in the same way a child throwing a tantrum in the store does, kicking and screaming.

B) Motivation – What keeps it going?

When a person — adult or child — is melting down, they have zero control. They have no ulterior motives, no hidden agendas, and no goal associated with the meltdown. They are not trying to get something or make something happen. They have simply lost control.

Because the meltdown is a manifestation of a loss of control, the person usually does not retain the same level of control over their motivation, body, or senses as someone experiencing a tantrum might. I have melted down more than once as both a child and an adult — I cannot tell you what anyone may have said to me when I was in meltdown mode, because I could no longer hear. I could not see, I could not feel the ground beneath me. I would not even have been able to remember my name in that moment. It was as if my brain were literally shutting down its input and output pathways to protect itself.

The motivation behind a meltdown is not conscious; it is a physical and mental shutdown. A person experiencing a meltdown may inadvertently injure themselves or others because they lack control or awareness of their actions and their consequences.

C) Resolution – What stops it?

Unlike a tantrum, which can be stopped with self-regulation and willpower, a meltdown cannot be stopped by either external or internal force of will. Usually, a meltdown will only fade after the triggering overload is lessened — lights dimmed, sounds diminished, feeling safe at home or in a familiar setting, with familiar people, or alone, etc.

Sometimes, time is the only remedy for a meltdown, as the body and mind slowly return to themselves after a temporary shutdown.

Think of it like a dam. A broken dam will keep letting water gush through until either all the water pressure is gone or the dam is repaired. Nobody’s going to stand there and stop the water through sheer force of will. Instead, the brain will temporarily shut down certain nonessential functions to divert energy toward repairing the overload, and things like sensory accommodations and familiar surroundings can help speed up this process, much like a temporary barrier could be erected around the hole in the dam while it is being repaired.