Fraternal Friction: A Study of Sibling Rivalry

Sample 5 is titled ‘Fraternal Friction: A Study of Sibling Rivalry’. This essay features a hypothesis demonstrating some independence of thought, supported by a sustained argument, and with some detail in the level of critical analysis and evaluations to draw valid conclusions. The essay also presents evidence of thorough research showing data collected from appropriate primary and secondary sources which were integrated into the discussion, although there is also an over-reliance on secondary sources which detract from the candidate’s ability to demonstrate critical analysis via the concepts of music. Nonetheless, the candidate does provide some evidence of sophisticated analysis, but it is not consistent in the essay submission.

Marking guideline annotations

C1 – establishment of an hypothesis and application of the skills of critical analysis and evaluation

The student does provide a hypothesis, but it lacks clarity on the aspect of music and/or specific works which will be examined to show "how Fanny was a successful female composer... acknowledged for her sophisticated musical output." It is clear that this hypothesis will allow some independence of thought in the submission, but the loss of clarity in the hypothesis impacts the student’s ability to apply critical analysis skills consistently in the essay.

C2 – organisation, development and expression of ideas in a sustained argument supported by relevant musical examples and quotations

The essay has elements of organisation, development and expression of ideas in a sustained argument supported by relevant musical examples and quotations. However, there are missing details in the organisation, development and expression of ideas that detract from the overall success.

C3 – understanding of the concepts of music and the relationships between them within the relevant context

The student does refer to the concepts of music, and there is evidence of some sophisticated understanding of the concepts and the relationships between them. However, the understanding is negatively impacted by relying on secondary sources throughout the essay which detracts from the student’s ability to focus on the concepts of music.

C4 – research and data collection skills from primary and secondary sources

There is evidence of thorough research and data collection from primary and secondary sources. However, at times there are missed opportunities to use primary/secondary evidence to support claims in the essay.