What to do following a bereavement
What to do following a bereavement
The following slides, adapted from SeeSaw take you through the key considerations following on from news of a bereavement
What to do following a bereavement (2).pptxThe following sections have been adapted from the Child Bereavement UK ’Schools’ Information Pack’ Bereavement support and information for school, sheet number 5.
Telling staff someone has died
Try to speak with staff first before sharing the news with the children and young people. Face to face is best, but not always possible. If it is not possible, try to follow the communication up with personal contact. Give staff time to absorb the news. Remind staff of supports that are available to them. Staff directly affected will need support and may require to have their class covered.
Telling a class or group someone has died
It is important to take into account the wishes of those that have been bereaved - siblings and family. Schools have a duty of care to all their children and young people and it can sometimes be necessary to say something before the family has been contacted. In this situation, a simple acknowledgment of the death is all that is required.
You should consider telling close friends and classmates first and then having a more general acknowledgment during an assembly.
Check to see if siblings wish to be present for this. If they are not in school, ensure they are given the information and what was said and who it was said to.
Points to consider when breaking the news
Prepare what you want to say in advance. Support should be offered to the person given this task.
Do not be afraid to show emotion and expect it, as it can sometimes catch you unaware.
Start by saying you have some sad news.
Be honest, using simple facts and use the word dead/died.
If permission has been given by the family to share information on the nature or context of death this can be included.
If it is not clear say this. If there are unhelpful rumours, name this.
Talk briefly about the person who has died without eulogising.
Mention any arrangements that have been agreed.
Finish by saying that there will be different emotions and that they are all ok. Also say that not everyone will be sad and that is ok too.
You may want to consider a practical activity such as writing or art to follow this to enable expressions of emotion.
Breaking sad news in an assembly
This may not be appropriate or wanted, you will need to make a judgement based on the individual circumstances. When news is shared in this way, provide some time in class afterwards for children and young people to react and respond to this news. The reactions will be varied. Those most closely affected may wish to gather memories or make a card.
For further guidance on holding a remembrance assembly please see the guidance produced by Child Bereavement UK, within their ‘Schools’ Information Pack’ Bereavement support and information for schools sheet number 5
Telling parents and carers of a death
Once you have obtained permission from the family concerning what is to be shared you should let families know by letter. This can be emailed or sent via Groupcall to families to ensure they have the information quickly. You should provide them with guidance to help them understand and support their children and young people’s needs. (See Common responses to bereavement and loss & Ways of helping a bereaved child or young person)
There are sample letters within the Resources section of this guidance.
Preparing a child or young person to return to school following a bereavement
Adapted from Cruse Bereavement Care
There is no set time for when a child or young person should return to school having experienced a bereavement. This will depend on individual circumstances. If a child or young person has been absent for a long period of time it can increase anxiety and cause difficulties adjusting back to school life.
Points to consider
Appoint a member of staff, preferably a teacher who has a positive relationship with the child or young person, to co-ordinate the child or young person’s return, including talking to the child or young person and the family to make arrangements.
Holding a meeting or visit before the return can enable the school to gather the child or young person’s wishes so that staff and pupils can be informed in advance of any requests.
Separation anxiety may present. This is very common following a bereavement.
Let the child or young person know of the type of support that the school can offer e.g. arrangements for the completion of homework/assignments, an agreement about getting time out of a lesson or class if the child or young person feels they are not coping.
You may wish to consider including friends of the bereaved child or young person in the support plan – re-engaging with friendship will be helpful.
These friends will require access to support should they need it.
Make sure all staff have access to information and plans including supply staff and visiting specialists.
Ensure the staff providing support have access to relevant support and look after themselves.
The video from Child Bereavement UK contains some tips to support a child who is returning to school following a bereavement.
References
Child Bereavement UK www.childbereavementuk.org
Cruse Bereavement Care www.cruse.org.uk
See Saw - Grief Support for children and young people in Oxfordshire https://www.seesaw.org.uk/