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Helping a child or young person with additional support needs (ASN)
(Adapted from See Saw ‘HAND-IN-HAND: Supporting children and young people who have a learning difficulty through the experience of bereavement’)Helping a child or young person with additional support needs (ASN)
Children with ASN have the same need as other children - for understanding, support and love - when they experience bereavement and loss. Children need support and to be reassured that powerful emotions are normal and a necessary part of healing.
Do not underestimate their ability to cope with difficult situations.
Communication can often be the main difficulty and relying on verbal communication alone may be very limiting.
All children are unique, therefore there is no set formula that works for all.
It is important to identify and find different ways to reach each individual child.
The challenge can often be to find creative ways to communicate when sometimes words are not appropriate or enough.
There are two specific tasks that should be considered:
How can you provide the child with a language or way to communicate thoughts, feelings and concerns?
How can you provide avenues and activities to encourage their expression?
The Child Bereavement UK video below contains suggestions and advice on supporting a bereaved child who is autistic.
NAIT-Supporting-Autistic-Learners-with-Bereavement-Guidance-2022.pdfNAIT Guidance: Supporting autistic learners with bereavement
NAIT Guidance: Supporting autistic learners with bereavement
The NAIT Guidance document contains key messages developed to support staff working in and with schools to support neurodivergent learners affected by a death in their family or school community.
Not all of the information contained in the document will be relevant for all children and young people. Therefore, it is important to take an individualised approach.
Other important issues to consider when supporting children/young people with ASN
Other important issues to consider when supporting children/young people with ASN
Who should be the key person working with and supporting the child and family?
Who should be the key person working with and supporting the child and family?
This should be a safe and trusted adult known to the child.
What should be talked about?
What should be talked about?
It is important to use the same language and ideas as the family to avoid the child receiving mixed messages and becoming confused.
Where is the child most receptive to new ideas?
Where is the child most receptive to new ideas?
e.g. outside, park, quiet room.
How is new information normally given to the child?
How is new information normally given to the child?
e.g. signs, pictures, verbally and use the same format when talking about death. Ensure that information given is kept brief and factually and literally correct.
How does the child normally need new information ‘backed up’?
How does the child normally need new information ‘backed up’?
e.g. do they need information repeated many times over a long period?
What is the best approach for this child?
What is the best approach for this child?
Remember that every child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. The approach of the adult must be tailored to match the child’s cognitive and developmental level. If you are not sure of their level, aim for a lower level and then increase the complexity of the discussion if you feel that the child has grasped the concepts.
Only proceed at a level and speed that is appropriate to the child.
Only proceed at a level and speed that is appropriate to the child.
Build on the information given, providing small chunks of information at a time to make it easier for the child to absorb. Repeat information as often as needed.
Watch for reactions
Watch for reactions
To show the child's understanding.
Answer simply and honestly
Answer simply and honestly
Answer the child’s questions as they arise. This may mean answering the same question repeatedly. Give enough information to answer the child’s question but without adding a confusing amount of detail.
Follow the child's lead
Follow the child's lead
If they are indicating a need to talk or to have their feelings acknowledged, encourage as appropriate.
Watch for changes in behaviour
Watch for changes in behaviour
May indicate that the child is struggling more than they can say and offer support as needed. Outlets such as musical instruments or sensory materials may support expression.
For some children with additional and complex needs, death may be experienced as an absence or abandonment without an understanding of why.
For some children with additional and complex needs, death may be experienced as an absence or abandonment without an understanding of why.
Visual tools and using examples of simple lifecycles may be useful to support their understanding that death is irreversible.
Where appropriate you may want to consider making a story book about what has happened, what death means and the feelings that can occur.
Where appropriate you may want to consider making a story book about what has happened, what death means and the feelings that can occur.
Making a picture or story book with the child or young person can help them to communicate their feelings or tell their story.
It is important to liaise with other agencies involved with the child or young person.
It is important to liaise with other agencies involved with the child or young person.
Communicating effectively with the other agencies working alongside the child or young person will help to ensure the accuracy and continuity of information.
‘Supporting People with Disabilities Coping with Grief and Loss’
‘Supporting People with Disabilities Coping with Grief and Loss’
This is a helpful resource booklet produced by Scope (to access click here).
It provides information about bereavement, loss and grief for people with
disabilities in a clear and accessible format using key words and pictures.
References
References
Child Bereavement UK - Supporting a bereaved child who is autistic | Child Bereavement UK
See Saw - Grief Support for children and young people in Oxfordshire https://www.seesaw.org.uk/
See Saw - ‘HAND-IN-HAND: Supporting children and young people who have a learning difficulty through the experience of bereavement’ SEESAW SHEETS (glowscotland.org.uk)
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