Cambodia
First, go through the slides to learn about the genocide in Cambodia committed by the Khmer Rouge.
Next, listen to the excerpts from the book "First They Killed My Father" about Luong Ung's real experiences living in Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge. While you listen, try to put yourself in her shoes: what would you do? How would you feel?
Transcript of the video:
Author’s Note:
From 1975 to 1979 through execution, starvation, disease, and forced labor—the Khmer Rouge systematically killed an estimated two million Cambodians, almost a fourth of the country’s population.
This is a story of survival: my own and my family’s. Though these events constitute my experience, my story mirrors that of millions of Cambodians. If you had been living in Cambodia during this period, this would be your story too.
April 1975 The Ung Family
Already at 6 A.M., people in Phnom Penh are rushing and bumping into each other on dusty, narrow side streets. Waiters and waitresses in black-and-white uniforms swing open shop doors as the aroma of noodle soup greets waiting customers. Street vendors push food carts piled with steaming dumplings, smoked beef teriyaki sticks, and roasted peanuts along the sidewalks and begin to set up for another day of business…The wide boulevards sing with the buzz of motorcycle engines, squeaky bicycles, and, for those wealthy enough to afford them, small cars.
April 17, 1975 – Takeover
It is afternoon and I am playing hopscotch with my friends on the street in front of our apartment. Usually on a Thursday I would be in school, but for some reason Pa has kept us all home today. I stop playing when I hear the thunder of engines in the distance…Green, gray, black, these cargo trucks sway back and forth on bald tires, spitting out dirt and engine smoke as they roll on. In the back of these trucks, men wearing faded black long pants and long-sleeve black shirts, with red sashes cinched tightly around their waists and red scarves tied around their foreheads, stand body to body. They raise their fists to the sky and cheer …
I run up to my apartment to find Pa sitting on our balcony observing the excitement below. Climbing onto his lap I ask him, “Pa, who are those men and why is everybody cheering them?”…
“They’re not nice people. Look at their shoes—they wear sandals made from car tires.” At five, I am oblivious to the events of war, yet I know Pa to be brilliant, and therefore he must be right…
“Pa, why the shoes? Why are they bad?”
“It shows that these people are destroyers of things…”
When I [go inside the apartment], I am confused to find my whole family packing.
“What’s going on? Where’s everybody going?”
“We have to leave the house soon, so hurry, go and eat your lunch!” Ma is running in every direction as she continues to pack up our house.
April 1975 – Evacuation
As we move farther and farther away from the city, the high-rise apartments disappear and thatched-roof huts take their place. The buildings in the city are tall and close together, but the huts are low-lying and widely dispersed in the middle of the rice fields. As our truck moves slowly in the crowd of people, the wide, paved boulevard gives way to windy, dusty roads that are no more than wagon trails. Tall elephant grass and prickly, brown brush have replaced Phnom Penh’s blooming flowers and tall trees. A queasy feeling grips me as I watch the villages pass by. As far as the eye can see, there are people marching in the road while huts stand empty and rice fields are left unattended…
April 1975 – Seven-Day Walk
“Pa, will we go home soon? The soldiers said we can return home after three days.” I tug at Pa’s pants. It is afternoon and we are not even slowing down yet…
Bending down, Pa looks me in the eyes and says softly…“The Khmer Rouge lied. They have won the war, and we cannot go back. You must stop thinking we can go back. You have to forget Phnom Penh.” Pa has never spoken so bluntly to me before, and slowly the reality of what he says sinks in. My body trembles with fear and disbelief... He reaches out and takes me into his arms as my eyes water and my lips tremble.
As Pa continues to talk, I slide out of his arms and into Keav’s. Pa tries to make my brothers understand the history of politics in Cambodia. Led by Prince Sihanouk, Cambodia, then a French colony, became an independent nation in 1953. Through the 1950s and 1960s, Cambodia prospered and was self-sufficient. However, many people were not happy with Prince Sihanouk’s government… A secret Communist faction—the Khmer Rouge—launched an armed struggle against the Cambodian government.
The war in Vietnam [had also] spread to Cambodia when the United States bombed Cambodia’s borders to try and destroy the North Vietnamese bases. The bombings destroyed many villages and killed many people, allowing the Khmer Rouge to gain support from the peasants and farmers. In 1970, Prince Sihanouk was overthrown by his top general…and was easily defeated by the Khmer Rouge...
All I know is that...I can never tell another soul that I miss home, that I want to go back to the way things were.
November 1975 Ro Leap
Seven months after the Khmer Rouge forcefully evacuated us from our home in Phnom Penh we arrive in the village of Ro Leap. It is late in the afternoon. The clouds separate in the sky and the sun shines beams of white light on our new home …
The chief finally makes his appearance to the crowd of new people. He is as tall as Pa, with an angular body and cropped gray hair that sits straight on his head like dense jungle bushes…The black pajama pants hang looser on his body than those on the two soldiers who follow behind him…
“In this village, we live by strict rules and regulations set for us by the Angkar. We expect you to follow every rule. One of our rules applies to how we dress. As you see, we wear the same clothes. Everyone wears his or her hair in the same style. By wearing the same thing, we rid ourselves of the corrupt Western creation of vanity… You are no different from anyone else here and from now on will dress in black trousers and shirts.”
April 1976 – New Year’s
The population in the village is growing smaller by the day. Many people have died, mostly from starvation, some from eating poisonous food, others killed by soldiers. Our family is slowly starving to death and yet, each day, the government reduces our food ration…We have eaten everything that is edible, from rotten leaves on the ground to roots we dig up. Rats, turtles, and snakes caught in our traps are not wasted as we cook and eat their brains, tails, hides, and blood. When no animals are caught, we roam the fields for grasshoppers, beetles, and crickets.
December 1976 – Pa
“They know [who I am and how I supported the Prince],” I overhear Pa whisper to Ma late one night. Lying on my back next to Chou and Kim, I pretend to be asleep. “The soldiers have taken away many of our neighbors. Nobody ever talks of the disappearances. We have to make preparations for the worst…”Pa says.
The next evening while sitting with Kim outside on the steps of our hut, I think how the world is still somehow beautiful even when I feel no joy at being alive within it. It is still dark and the shimmering sunset of red, gold, and purple over the horizon makes the sky look magical…When I focus my eyes back on the earth, I see two men in black walking towards us with their rifles casually hanging on their backs…
“What can I do for you?” Pa says.
“We need your help. Our ox wagon is stuck in the mud a few kilometers away. We need you to help us drag it out...”
Opposite the soldiers, Pa straightens his shoulders, and for the first time since the Khmer Rouge takeover, he stands tall. Thrusting out his chin and holding his head high, he tells the soldiers he is ready to go…
Pa always knew he couldn’t hide forever… My mind races and fills my head with images of death and executions. I have heard many stories about how the soldiers kill prisoners and then dump their bodies into large graves. How they torture their captives, behead them, or crack their skulls with axes so as not to waste their precious ammunition. I cannot stop thinking of Pa and whether or not he [will die] with dignity…
May 1977 Leaving Home
Though I am sad and many days wish I am dead, my heart continues to beat with life. My eyes well up at the thought of Pa…[but] I know Pa does not want me to give up, and as hard as it is to endure life here day to day, there is nothing for me to do but go on.
Strange things are going on in the village as entire families disappear overnight. Kim says the Khmer Rouge terror has taken a new toll. The soldiers are executing the entire families of those whom they’ve taken away, including young children. The Angkar fears the survivors and children of the men they have killed will rise up one day and take their revenge…
When she returns from work one evening Ma hurriedly gathers Kim, Chou, Geak, and me together, saying she has something to tell us.
Her voice shakes when she speaks, “You three have to leave and go far away. Geak is four and too young to go. She will stay with me.” Her words stab my heart like a thousand daggers. “You three will each go in different directions…Walk until you come to a work camp. Tell them you are orphans and they will take you in…”
Though it goes against Ma’s warnings, Chou and I cannot separate ourselves so we head off in the same direction. With no food or water, we walk in silence all through the morning as the sun beats down on us… The only sound comes from our feet and the pebbles that roll away from our toes…It is afternoon when we finally see a camp.
“We are orphans and have been living with different families, but they no longer want us,” [I tell the camp supervisor]. My heart races with guilt as the lies spill out of my mouth...
“All right, come in,” [she says].
This is a girls’ camp for those who are considered too weak to work in the rice fields. We are considered useless because we cannot help out the war effort directly. Yet from morning till night we work in scorching sun, growing food for the army. From sunrise to sunset, we plant crops and vegetables in the garden, stopping only for dinner and lunch. Each night we fall into an exhausted sleep, wedged closely together on a wooden bamboo plank with fifty other girls, the other fifty in another hut.
August 1977 – Child Soldiers
The months pass and the government continues to increase our food ration, allowing me to grow a little stronger. It has been three months since we left Ro Leap and last saw Kim, Ma, and Geak…
[My supervisor] tells me she has some ‘good news’. “You are the youngest girl here, but you work harder than everyone else. The Angkar needs people like you,” she says and smiles… [You are going to a camp where] you will be trained as a soldier so you can soon help fight the war…” Her face beams with pride when she finishes.
At the break of dawn, I pack my clothes and my food bowl. Chou stands beside me with her head down. I do not want to leave Chou behind, but I cannot refuse the reassignment…Though my heart aches, I do not look back…
May 1978– The Last Gathering
Once again rations have been reduced and many people are becoming sick. My stomach and feet swell as my bones protrude everywhere else. In the morning I find myself short of breath just walking to the rice fields. I have lost so much weight it feels as if my joints are rubbing against each other, making my body ache…
“Met Bong,” I wheeze out the words, “may I have a permission slip to go the infirmary? My stomach hurts very much.”
[My supervisor] sighs with impatience. “You are so weak. You must learn to be strong,” she shouts at me…”Go to the infirmary and recover, then come back…”
By mid-morning I arrive at the infirmary, an abandoned concrete warehouse with moldy, crumbling walls and open spaces for rooms. There is no electricity so it is dark, except for an area that is illuminated by sunlight pouring in through the glassless windows…The two hundred or so patients are lined up on straw mats or cots on the floor, their cries echoing off the cold stone walls…
Far in the corner of the room, I see hands waving excitedly in the air. I stare at the faces of Ma, Geak, and Meng. Chou and Kim run towards me, smiling broadly. Everyone in our family but Khouy is here! I cannot believe my eyes…
Ma tells me that she and Geak came here five days ago with stomach pains. Like me, all the siblings traveled separately and were lucky to find each other here…
I stay in the infirmary for as long as I can, and with the…food and rest from work, my body gradually grows stronger. After one week, the infirmary becomes overcrowded and the nurses force us to leave… Expanding my lungs with air, I straighten my shoulders and march away firmly, wondering when I will see [my family] again.
November 1978 – The Walls Crumble
Another six months has passed since our family reunion at the infirmary…We no longer work in the fields but spend the hours learning to fight in combat as rumors spread that [the Vietnamese] have invaded our borders…
Early one morning, I wake up with dread and panic…I have to see Ma. It is dangerous to travel without permission, but I do not care…I walk in the hot sun without food or water…
When I enter [Ro Leap] village, I run to Ma’s hut. “Ma,” I call out frantically, “Ma! Geak!”
“They are not here,” a voice answers. A young woman stands in the doorway of the next hut…”They left yesterday…They went with [Khmer Rouge] soldiers.”
We both know what it means when the soldiers come to the village and take someone with them. Part of me cannot believe what the woman says, but the other knows it is true…I cannot be strong anymore. My wall crumbles and collapses on top of me. Tears run uncontrollably down my face. My chest compresses, my insides gnaw at me, eating away at my sanity…Tears pour from me as I drag my body away from the village…
January 1979 – The Youn [Vietnamese] Invasion
That night none of us can sleep as we listen to explosions of mortars and rockets in the distance. Though we are afraid, Met Bong tells us the Khmer soldiers will keep [the Vietnamese] away from us. After a few hours of shelling, all is quiet again. Then without warning, a mortar explodes near our base, blazing the sky white like lightning. Fear runs up my spine and shoots into my heart. I scream and cover my ears with my hands just as another mortar whistles and hits our hut. The straw walls and roof burst into flame. Screaming and wailing, the girls try to escape before fire consumes the hut…
All around me the people move like a herd of cows in a stampede, yelling and crying out family members’ names…Not knowing what to do, I walk out of the traffic and climb onto a big rock on the side of the road. Hugging my knees to my chest, I cry as the traffic rushes on ahead of me, leaving me behind…
I sit there hugging myself when I feel a hand grab my shoulder. It’s Kim. He’s alive! Chou is with him, holding tight to his hand…
“Come, we have to leave quickly!” Kim yells and grabs my hand as we head back onto the road and into the traffic…
Every day we walk with the crowd, occasionally stopping in deserted villages to rummage for food. It is many days before we see the first sign of a possible end destination. My heart pounds so loudly I am sure others can hear it as my feet come to a complete stop.
[Three Vietnamese soldiers] walk towards us and raise their hands in greeting…All eyes focus on them when they come nearer. People gasp when, in the next moment, one…smiles and says in broken Khmer…”There is a refugee camp ahead in Pursat City…” The crowd smiles gratefully. I cannot believe it. The [Vietnamese] did not shoot us. They did not take the children and slice open their stomachs. They even told us where Pursat City is. At last, after three days on the road, we have a destination!
The [Vietnamese] are all around, weaving through the labyrinth of homes and patrolling the area with rifles on their shoulders and grenades attached to their belts…In the midst of the crowd, I overhear the Khmer men discussing how the [Vietnamese] are there to protect us. They say the [Vietnamese] marched into Cambodia only three weeks ago…and defeated the Khmer Rouge, sending Pol Pot and his men running into the jungles. During his entire regime, Pol Pot had been provoking the [Vietnamese] attacks by sending his men to their borders and massacring Vietnamese villages. Pol Pot viewed the [Vietnamese] as the archenemy of the Khmer people and feared [they] would annex our land if we did not attack them first. But Pol Pot’s small, ill-equipped army could not win against the well-trained, well-equipped [Vietnamese]. The men say the [Vietnamese] have liberated Cambodia and saved us all from the murderous Pol Pot.
February 1979 – Khmer Rouge Attack
There is an area [in camp] where the newly arriving displaced people stay, and where people congregate to try and find each other. Every time someone new arrives at the base, Kim asks if they know or have ever heard of our brothers. Always, they give him the same sad answer…
I am [doing chores] when one of the children runs over and tells me Kim is coming with some man. I cannot dare to hope. Chou and I look at each other, our eyes full of fear, praying the man is our brother. I see Kim’s figure as he approaches us. Meng walks beside Kim. I do not know whether to cry or run to him. I am filled with so much happiness. He is alive. We are a family…
Meng takes us to the area where all the new arrivals live. Their dark green tents are set up in the middle of a group of trees…Shortly after we arrive at their tents, Khouy returns too. I watch as he saunters slowly towards us…When he sees us, his face softens and he smiles broadly. Walking over, he greets Kim, Chou, and me. While talking to Meng, he leaves his hand resting on my head—the way Pa used to do…
We are together again. Seeing my eyes close slowly, Meng takes me to his cloth hammock. I climb in and suddenly feel very tired…By the fire, I hear Kim’s voice quivering as he tells them about Pa, Ma, and Geak. They whisper to each other, as if trying to shield Chou and me from news we already know. I shut my eyes, not wanting to see Meng and Khouy’s faces as they receive the news. The remainder of our family is together again. With my brothers around me, I feel safe and relaxed.