Rejection

Five minutes before my interview

I received the email I had waited for all weekend.

Now I don’t know

If I can ever accept an offer

From the job I just interviewed for,

Because even if I’m accepted,

The sheet of paper this job occupies in my mind

Will be forever stained with rejection.

“Due to the highly competitive candidate pool

We are not able to accommodate your request

To participate in this internship.”

I want to jump into the highly competitive candidate pool

And drown.

It’s been four hours.

My tear ducts haven’t been hungry today–

They’ve been eternally full.

They follow the cycle of my stomach,

Which fills itself up at least three times a day,

Emptying itself at least once a day.

I’ve cried every other day this semester

And I’m still trying to decide

Whether this warrants

Making today one of those days.

I haven’t felt this kind of pain from rejection

Since three years ago to the day

I guess this is what happens when you lose

What you’ve set your sights on.

Maybe this poem

Will suck all of the disappointment out of me

And enable me to pretend

That from the moment I received it,

I accepted this rejection

As part of God’s plan.