It’s important not to ask specific questions of a child or teen once the suspicion of harm/abuse is formed. Only act on the information given or received - don’t go looking for more. 

• Do not ask leading questions or investigate the claims as this may compromise subsequent investigations by qualified people. We do not want a child ‘rehearsing’ their story two or three times if the case is being reported to the authorities.

• You need to listen to a child just enough in order to determine if they are suffering harm. Interviewing a child should always be left to trained people who are skilled in the process. 

• Listen carefully do not counsel. 

• Tell them you believe them and you’re pleased they told you.

• Tell them that in order to help them, you need to tell your upline. 

Tell your upline as soon as you can. Never deal with a disclosure or suspicion of harm on your own and don’t wait another week or two of hearing the story over and over. 

Your immediate upline. Make sure you know who you would tell if this ever happens. When a child or teen tells you anything, you are bound by confidentiality. That means you can tell your upline, you shouldn’t tell your co-volunteers. 

They will speak to the child / teen disclosing and check on their wellbeing.  They will handle it from there. 

Your upline (or another delegated person) will then be the one to talk with that child / teen instead of you if appropriate. Your upline will speak to the child / teen and ask them if they need to speak to someone to call them and not you. 

We may ask you to write a few notes about what was said to you.  You can continue to interact with the child / teen at the program - encourage them to talk about day to day things. Do not engage in further conversation about their allegations. 

Your role from here:

• • To keep the information to yourself. 

  • You should not personally speak to the parents - if a parent asks you questions, ask them if you can involve your upline so they are present at the conversation. 

  • You are not to feel concerned that something you have or haven’t done will escalate and come back on you 

  • You are not to call the authorities on your own or deal with any issues unsupported. 

IF it is a child 12yrs or under:

• Use child appropriate language 

• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Thank you for telling me” 

• “Don’t you worry. We will help you.” 

IF it is a teenager:

• “You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.”

• “You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.”

• “I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.”

You have acted on the initial information by telling someone. Try to get them to talk about something else and continue to advise your upline every time they repeat it. 

Very similar. You let them know you’re glad they told you. Ask just enough questions to get the idea. Do not ask them to show you where they have been harming. Tell them that you cannot keep this to yourself. You have to tell someone. Tell your upline immediately, not in a couple of weeks. They will handle it. Continue to interact with the child / teen, just move them away from conversation about self-harm. 

You are a wonderful volunteer who loves kids and of course you want to help them. Kids / Teens in this situation need specialised care. Even our pastors are not necessarily geared up to deal with certain situations. That’s why we have lines of communication and authority to get the teen the help they need. Bless you volunteers!

Don’t worry - you are called to do your part at Youth and Kids - unless you’re called and trained as a counsellor, that’s not your role. Chase after the one, don’t let them go, but be wise in what you do and remember you have support around you to help you make right decisions. 

We do not allow our Youth volunteers to be talking on the phone with under 18 year olds after 9pm. If the teen keeps calling, let them know that you are not allowed to be talking to teens in the Youth program after 9pm - it’s for their protection and yours. If you’re worried because they are admitting to suicidal thoughts or self-harm, call your upline to let them know you’re concerned and to let you upline know so that they can help you manage boundaries