Chapter 3: Verbal and Nonverbal Messages

Author: Kara Coker


You have probably noticed that there can be a disconnect between what people say and how they behave at work. Perhaps at the end of a team project, your coworker says, ”It was good working with you.” However, your coworker says it in a way that makes you feel it was not genuine. Maybe you ask your supervisor how her day is going. She answers without looking at you, “Fine.” Maybe the response doesn’t ring true to you. She seems anything but fine. The conflict between verbal and nonverbal communication that we observe can begin to be resolved as we begin to understand the nuances of both.


This chapter focuses on the verbal and nonverbal nature of communication. Although verbal and nonverbal messages differ in many ways, the two forms of communication work together in most instances. Some communication is verbal (written and spoken), and other messages are nonverbal (meaning conveyed from symbols other than words). As we navigate our personal and professional lives, becoming adept at verbal and nonverbal communication can steer us toward success. Learning about the characteristics and function of sending and receiving verbal and nonverbal messages involves interpreting and knowing ourselves and others. In this chapter, we will discuss how to evaluate the verbal and nonverbal communication of others to increase our knowledge in how to respond. This chapter also guides us through the verbal and nonverbal processes of navigating performance appraisals and difficult conversations in the workplace, including disagreements. Understanding how to align our verbal and nonverbal messages is an essential skill for success at work.


Verbal Communication at Work

Let’s begin our study with how we can use spoken and written words more effectively in the workplace. Verbal communication includes both spoken and written words. It is important to consider that verbal communication can affect you both personally and professionally. Your communication is a reflection upon your company, as well.


In other words, what you say, how you say it, and how you reinforce your messages with nonverbal communication all influence how well you will be understood and how others perceive you. Let’s dive into some tips on effective ways to structure your verbal communication at work.


Communication should be clear, concise, and consistent.


  1. Strive for Clarity. Identifying your key ideas, the main message you want to embed in your audience’s mind, is an important part of communicating clearly. To create messages with clarity:

  • Think about your central idea. What is the key message or take-away you want your audience to hear and understand?

  • Spend time thinking about your listeners and the knowledge they may or may not have about the content you will be sharing. When in doubt, be prepared to provide context and a quick recap to bridge any knowledge gaps.

  • As you write out your key points, avoid jargon and other language that could confuse others or distract them from your central idea. Jargon includes industry or group specific language known only to others with a similar background or expertise. Technical language or high levels of detail may seem important to you, but they can be a barrier to listener engagement.


Developing key messages before you communicate will help maintain focus on what you want to say and communicate your content with clarity (Impey, 2020).


2. Keep it concise. Aim for short, direct sentences. Saying less forces you to focus, and the more focused you are, the higher the chances of getting your message across. Be sure to define exactly what you want people to understand and what, if anything, you are asking them to do. Saying less has another advantage. Whether you’re communicating by email, over the phone, or in person, saying too much can hurt your efforts. Try these tips for concise communication:

  • Take out the filler.Take the time to review messages for conciseness. Is every bit needed to get your point across, or have unnecessary words snuck in? In particular, watch for overuse of filler words like “very” and “really”.

  • Keep it simple. Fancy words will only confuse your audience—or worse, alienate them. Stick to language that is familiar and accessible.

  • Formatting is your friend. The longer the update, the more likely it is that important details will be lost. Use formatting in written communication (such as bullet points, headings, or bold emphasis) to highlight vital information. You can bold important dates, calls to action, and key decisions so it’s nearly impossible to miss them (Impey, 2020).

3. Be consistent. Consistency in communication usually means two things: repetition and frequency.

  • Don’t be afraid to repeat your key message. It is easier for people to remember a point when they have seen or heard it multiple times.

  • Make sure to communicate on a regular basis. Depending on the project or situation, this may involve setting a communication schedule to provide updates. It can also simply mean being proactive and responsive when communicating by email, over the phone, or in meetings (Impey, 2020).

In addition to being clear, concise, and consistent, your communication should be prompt. How do you feel when you are trying to watch a video and it buffers, even for a brief moment? Similarly, when people are waiting to hear from you, frustration and mistrust can build. Prompt communication builds trust and confidence with your employer, your customers, and your coworkers.


Scenario 3.1: You receive an email or a request from a coworker. You don’t know how to respond, so you delay. The sender might now view you as irresponsible, inconsistent, uncaring, or disengaged. A better course of action would be to respond by letting the sender know that you will get back to them with an answer by a certain time. Then set a reminder for yourself and make sure that you do just that.


Responding Verbally

Much like we should carefully consider and plan the verbal messages we create, it is equally important to craft appropriate verbal responses. Here are some general guidelines for creating verbal responses.


Check for understanding. If you receive unclear communication, do not wonder quietly about it; seek clarification to avoid possible misunderstandings. As previously discussed, communication is transactional. You could start by saying, “I think we might have a misunderstanding. Let’s see if we can get to the bottom of it. I would really like to be on the same page.” The sender will most likely appreciate that you are asking for clarity.


Advocate for yourself. You are your own best advocate. If you are receiving communication that is inappropriate or insulting, you should confidently advocate for yourself.


Responding When You Disagree

As humans communicate and attempt to navigate this two-way street, there will be disagreements. The important thing is how you handle those disagreements.


Here are some tips to professionally address disagreements:


  1. Address disagreements immediately and openly. Don’t ignore even slight disagreements. Resentment can build and harmony can be disrupted if you do.

  1. Set clear expectations. Establishing norms can help. For example, as you are working through the disagreement, perhaps an expectation could be that you will not interrupt each other.

  1. Build active listening skills. When you disagree, it is easy to stop listening and shut out the other person. Listening with an open mind can go a long way in solving a disagreement.

  2. Use neutral terms. Speak in a calm, agreeable manner. Use “I” and “we” language instead of “you”. For example, “I feel…” instead of, “You made me feel…” or “We should work on finding a solution…” rather than “You need to fix this.”

  3. Recognize and respect personal differences. Sometimes there will be personality conflicts. Evaluate your position on any possible personality conflicts, and be realistic about the root causes of the disagreement. You might be opposed to the idea just because of the person who has the idea, for example. Become an expert on your own behavior. Evaluate your motives, strengths, and weaknesses, and take those into consideration when you are dealing with a disagreement (Luligowski, 2021).


Now that we have covered strategies for communicating clearly using our spoken and written words, it is time to uncover how we communicate using nonverbal messages. Some may think meaning is created in the verbal component of messages and that nonverbal messages may not matter as much. However, nonverbal communication plays a crucial part in our interactions with others, and can be more impactful than the words we use (Adler, Rodman, & DuPré, 2015).