Originally published January 21, 2025

   You know what grinds my gears!? When people run you over in their SOGGY selves. 

   It’s already terrible that everyone’s shoes and clothes are drenched in a combination of sweat, lack of deodorant, rain, and dirt. You smell like a wet dog and I want you at least 10 yards away from me. Sometimes even a wet dog with 10 gallons of cologne.

   Even worse, some of you still SAG THIS SEASON. Your pants are below your knees and it’s dragging  in the rain water and dirt. I genuinely cry at the sight of that, and the janitors probably do too once this species meets the halls.

   Sometimes it’s so bad, the carpet at school  looks like the ones in the carpet cleaning ASMR videos. If not WORSE.

   Honestly, I am going to have a stroke, you’re also spreading your diseases.

   Not only do you run me and my decomposing binder over, YOU’RE COUGHING ALL OVER ME. I think you’re sick because you like to stand and collect the rainwater. GO HOME NOW PLEASE.

   It’s not that hard to be NORMAL and HYGIENIC  or I’m going to have to put you in a locker.

   And THAT is what grinds my gears!

   You know what grinds my gears!? THOSE people who say things related to a guy they like.

   Like, I get that you really do like or– love the guy you like. BUT IF ALL OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE ABOUT, “my man, my man, MY MAN!!!” JUST GET OUT AND STOP TALKING TO ME. 

   I understand that you have strong feelings. but if I had  brought something serious  up, like my personal feelings or  genuine disdain for something– AND YOU START RAMBLING ABOUT THE THIRTY DIFFERENT DISGUSTING HAIRSTYLES IT DID YESTERDAY.

   “Oh I’m sorry… my man would NEVER do that!” Talk about your man one more time and I will send you to meet the pearly gates. CAUSE  I DO NOT CARE WHETHER IT BREATHED IN YOUR PRESENCE. 

   All you do is YAP about the most demented, disgusting, deranged creature in the entire school and you JUST HAVE TO BRING HIM UP EVERY. SINGLE. CONVERSATION!!  I try my best to at least support my friends.. But it’s hard when they like someone who looks like they got hit by a bus three times and plus, a demented turtle looks better than them. 

   If all our freaking conversations are about that creature, I’ll literally not hesitate to slap you till you see stars. 

   And THAT is what grinds my gears.

   You know what grinds my gears!? New Year Resolutions! 

   As friends and family come over to your house for New Years, many want to start the new year right. Creating goals for themselves, to make it their year.

   BUT THEY DON’T LOCK IN OR STICK WITH IT! Like why are you going to make a goal if you’re not committed to it. That’s just stupid. If you’re not going to stick with it, DON’T MAKE ONE! It’s bad enough that you don’t commit to it.

   But sometimes it’s okay to not stick with your goal, BECAUSE IT WASN’T A GOOD GOAL! I know some people who make New Year's resolutions that are horrible like, “I’m going to be more responsible with my money”. But they always buy really dumb things! Or they say, "I'm going to sleep earlier". I want them to try to sleep better, BUT THEY GO TO SLEEP AT ONE IN THE MORNING!

   I understand that things happen and you can’t fully lock in with your goal. But still, it’s important to start the New Year right! Whether it's a small goal or a large goal, TRY TO LOCK IN!

   And THAT is what grinds my gears!

   You know what grinds my gears!?  Seasonal Drinks! 

   You know when you go to a coffee place like Starbucks and see all these festive drinks and decorations. It’s cheerful, and I love it. 

   However, I get triggered by these festive drinks. I get we are trying to celebrate the holidays, but why do we make it so complicated? Like why are people ordering this exotic "Venti iced sugar cookie latte with almond milk and an extra shot of espresso, make sure you line the cup with caramel and add extra sprinkles on top!"

   Like isn't Starbucks just supposed to be coffee, do we really need all of these add-ins? Especially when how lengthy the orders can be, but I feel like it's especially common throughout these ultra-specific holiday drinks. 

I mean can you imagine what the Generation Beta kids are gonna be ordering in 30 years. I mean if it's bad now, I can't even imagine what it would be like then. At that point if you're going to change the drink that much just order something different! Love your drinks Starbucks but let's keep it light on the simplicity, shall we?

   And THAT is what grinds my gears!

   You know what grinds my gears!?  Pathological liars. 

   Why are you going to take the time out of your day to lie to my face when WE BOTH KNOW YOU ARE  LYING. 

   Let's be real for once, your dad isn’t Adam Sandler. It’s so frustrating to be in a conversation with someone who isn’t thinking.  If it’s about your social class, most people don’t really care if you're rich or poor.

   They just want to be friends, and lying isn’t going to change anything besides you losing trust. Oh and that's not it. I just can’t wrap my head around why someone would lie to one up someone! LIKE NO BRENDA YOU ARE NOT COUSINS WITH THE ROCK! 

   After a while you get the hang of it and eventually start “believing” them. And don’t get me started on when they start including you in their stories. 

  People start asking weird questions like “You like to eat styrofoam?” NO,  WHO TOLD YOU THAT? Or “You hung out with ____ and not me?”.It just makes me CRAZY! IF THIS IS YOU, PLEASE (I say kindly)  THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY BEFORE YOU SAY IT. 

   And THAT is what grinds my gears!

   You know what grinds my gears!?  When you have to wait outside school in the winter.

   We all know how it feels when you have to wait outside in the cold, FREEZING weather just to get inside school. Can the school just leave their doors unlocked once buses arrive?

It is so dark, cold, rainy, windy outside that standing out there is like stepping into a nuclear reactor.

   My bus arrives at MBMS at 7:00 am. The doors open at 7:25. I have to wait for over 20 minutes in the piercing cold. It could be 5 FEET of snow outside, and a complete BLIZZARD, and I would still have to wait those 20 minutes.

  “Oh, if you’re cold just go to breakfast then”, well the school is always blasting over the intercom  “YOU CANNOT GO TO BREAKFAST BECAUSE YOU ARE COLD”, so that is out of the question.

   What's worse is when the bell rings at 7:25, and the doors DON’T EVEN OPEN. There are fifty kids waiting to get in the building, and the teachers  are too busy CHATTING in the comfort of their classroom to simply push the door open.

   And THAT is what grinds my gears!

   You know what grinds my gears!? The smells in school.

   I mean have you ever walked into school and smelled it? It is FILLED with so many different colognes and perfumes. I feel like once I step inside I’m getting drowned.  

   AND the EXCESSIVE amount of Axe Body Spray that is in the air! If  you think it smells good, newsflash IT DOESN’T! PLEASE STOP! Just take a shower instead of spraying three gallons of something that smells like may I say FEET! 

    I AM JUST TRYING TO GET TO MY CLASS! I don’t want to be dying of a lack of air because some crusty kid decided to not take a shower and spray his TERRIBLE cologne.  And it smells SO BAD even without the cologne. The smell of those unshowered crusty unclean kids who just worked way too hard at intermurals for no reason might even be worse. 

   CAN WE PLEASE GET SOME FRESH AIR IN HERE? The smell is so intoxicating that it will literally make me want to throw up and just leave school when I come inside.  PLEASE, if you are someone who does any of these things, STOP!! It is not that hard to just take a shower and not spray ten million gallons of perfume and cologne.  

    And THAT is what grinds my gears!