PHOTO COURTESY OF CLIPART.COM

Originally published January 22, 2020.

   You know what really grinds my gears?! Baby Yoda!

   Words cannot describe my utter hatred towards this green little ball of flesh that people find endearing, adorable, or even (I cannot even say it without getting sick) amazing.

   You may be wondering, Joon, why do you hate Baby Yoda so much? There is a reason. I have seen him everywhere I go. On social media, television, sculptures, even a song. When I first saw him, I thought he was cute, but I cannot stand his face anymore. 

   Baby Yoda has become a Minion Meme. Those cringy memes on Facebook that say things like “I weigh 27 lbs on the moon. I’m not fat, just on the wrong planet!” Those memes of Baby Yoda going “chicken nuggets” haunt my dreams.

   If you think I am exaggerating for the sake of this article, you could not be further from the truth. This is my raw, unfiltered disdain for this child. 

   And THAT’S what grinds my gears!

   You know what grinds my gears? ANIME DUBS! Ugh, I’m getting disgusted by even thinking about it. 

   Anime dubs are when they remove the original, Japanese vocal track, and replace it with your native language. Which means they get new voice actors….  I don’t even know if their voices can get any more demonic. 

   The real voices make it seem like it’s alive and like a beautiful musical play is happening right in front of you. 

   But the DUBS just put the whole image DOWN THE DRAIN!!!! The dubbing voice actors sound like they have the nastiest cold and couldn’t bother to go to the actual hospital and get it checked out. But it does also sound like a demon-possessed human is being forced to say random things with their ugliest, most disgusting voice. 

   It’s so bad that it literally distracts you from the actual anime and makes you think about your life decisions leading to this moment and pushes you into this void of endless thinking of why you’re listening to this voice that is literally ruining the whole anime you are taking time out of your life and watching. 

   Those people who are producing the dubs should go and get an actual life instead of traumatizing little children from watching their favorite shows. I just want everyone to know, subs are better than dubs. 

   And THAT’S what grinds my gears.

   You know what grinds my gears? P.E. Volleyball

   When you first start P.E. in 6th grade and the volleyball unit comes, they give you a brief explanation on how you pass and the basic rules. 

   This doesn’t do anyone any good. The best it does is teach you to not carry, and it’s not like you actually know what carrying is because the teachers don’t explain it. 

   The nets AREN’T EVEN THE RIGHT HEIGHT and the court boundaries are VERY unclear. So, for people that have played volleyball before and are used to three touches and the CORRECT court, it becomes very difficult to be patient.

   People who think they can play are the absolute worst. They make it over ONCE, setting with their palms or passing with their fingers spread out and their hands apart, then this player takes all the balls that come over and none of the other people even touch the ball. 

   No one knows how to rotate properly so, half the time the team doesn’t even rotate, and when we do rotate, it’s just the next place for students to stand until the class period is over.

   And THAT is what grinds my gears!

   You know what grinds my gears? People that still don't believe climate change is real.

   How much more evidence DO THEY NEED!!! Earth will literally MMEELLTT from rising temperatures and they still won't believe it is real. They'll just say it's because kids these days are always on their phones. Which is not false but still what does that have to do with CLIMATE CHANGE. 

   Australia is literally burning down to the ground. Koalas are being separated from their families! Have you seen the horribly sad pictures? 

   2019 was actually the second warmest year on record, with 2016 being the first. This past decade has been the warmest ever. 

   I bet people who don’t believe global warming is a thing, know it is real, they just don't want to acknowledge it is a real topic. It is scary thinking about climate change at times. Many scientists believe that's how the world is going to end. 

   This is why people should start taking action. By using a reusable straw doesn't mean you are one of the last remaining VSCO girls, but it means you are trying to save the environment. Recycle, reuse, go thrifting, and do other things that are fun and will help make the environment better. 

   And THAT’S what grinds my gears.

    You know what grinds my gears!?  Conversation hearts.

   Conversation hearts. The chalky, dried out candy that comes out once a year, the cheesy  half printed messages that are supposed to read “Text Me,” but you can’t completely see it all so it merges to say “Lick Me.” 

   The horrific candies have a shot to redeem themselves every year, with flavor, consistency, and the messages, but wait, every year they are still TERRIBLE. 

   These little hearts are given as a gift, but to be honest, these are the WORST gift to receive on Valentine’s day because they aren’t even the SLIGHTEST bit good, I’d rather eat three plates of broccoli than eat them. Who even enjoys them? 

   I really hope that any body who gives away conversation hearts as presents, knows that they are making the biggest mistake of their life. 

   If I wanted to eat chalk I would go to the store and buy some. The flavor is not existent, like c’mon there is nothing there to taste. Imagine someone walking up to you and being like, “Oh do you want some?” Like gross, no, seriously?

   And THAT is what grinds my gears!