The room was almost completely quiet. The only two people in it were Jonathan and a woman. He didn’t want to talk for a while, even though he’d been talking to her for his entire life. It was just different now; the air felt heavier and life seemed altered somehow; there was nowhere else to go.
“Was it worth it?” the woman asked.
“It was definitely worth it to watch that son of a bitch die,” Jonathan said angrily.
“Now people will think you’re crazy.”
“Crazy? He got exactly what he deserved.”
“You’re just saying that because you think it was the right thing.”
“It was the right thing. Why are you even here?”
“I’m always here, can’t you realize that? No matter what you do, you can never escape me.”
“I don’t like you; you just get in my way. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here.”
“If you get better you can come home. Wouldn’t you like that?”
“I would like to get away from them, none of them would listen.”
“What about me?”
“You’re different. You’re the only one that’ll listen to me in that house. You’re the only one that knows what I’ve been through.”
“And yet I never did anything like this. I never would, you know.”
“He didn’t do things to you like he did to me.”
“He had no reason to.”
“Yeah, I know. But still, I think everyone will be better off now that he’s no longer here.”
“You should really focus on getting better, you know.”
“I’m perfectly normal.”
“That’s not what she thinks. She thinks if you get better you can come home and everything will be better. But they said if you don’t get better you’ll be locked up. Forever.”
“Well maybe it’s better that way. I deserve it, don’t I? Just like that piece of filth deserved what he got.”
There was a long pause before anyone spoke again.
“You don’t really think that this is the only option, do you?” the woman asked.
“I think it’s what I deserve. I’m not crazy, so there’s no point in me being here.”
“The point is that no one this young should be sent off. You’re insane, don’t you realize that?”
“Shut up. You’ve been with me my entire life and I think that you should just leave.”
“But do you really want that? If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t know what to do half the time. Do you really think I’m so useless to you?”
“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be so damn insane.”
“So you admit that you’re insane?”
“I’m not admitting to anything. If I am insane, it’s because of you. I should just go to prison and be sentenced to death or something.”
“Or you can admit to insanity and stay here, get better and come home.”
“Shut up! Stop trying to swing my decision to your liking. You’re only doing this because you know you wouldn’t survive without me.”
“Maybe, but you’re the one that can really make this decision. So, do you wanna go home or go to prison?”
“I don’t know, okay? I just want someone other than you to realize what he did to me.”
“They will realize, but you also need to realize that you are, in fact, crazy.”
“You know what, screw you. You’re just thinking that speaking to me like I’m crazy will make me realize the truth.”
“What truth?”
“The truth that I’m insane; that I’m here for murdering that man.”
“You had good reason to kill him, you know.”
“Is that really any reason to kill anyone though? Lots of people deserve to die.”
“I know that, but do you really think that killing him was necessary?”
“You know, you’re really confusing. I’m not crazy, okay? You’re just making me think that I am.”
“I’m not making you think anything. Just know that if you weren’t crazy, you wouldn’t be here; you wouldn’t be talking to me.”
“Talking to you proves absolutely nothing.”
“It proves everything.”
“How?”
“You know how.”
“Okay, maybe I do know how. But it’s not fair, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Everything happens for a reason. Like remember when the cat died when you were little and you were mad at the world. Some things just happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“We’re getting off topic here. Should I stay here and get better or should I go to prison?”
“You’re asking me like I should have some sort of magical answer for you. You’re forgetting that you’re the only one that can actually answer all of your questions. There is no way to decide if you’re really crazy or not. If you think you’re not, then you are. But if you think you are, you’re not. Isn’t that crazy?”
“So if I get out of here, I won’t be crazy. I’ll just be some normal guy who did something wrong.”
“Even if you get out, they’ll still think you’re crazy. They’ll be whispering about you behind your back, saying things like ‘that’s the guy that should be locked up forever.’ So either way, you’re practically screwed.”
“I realize that. Maybe I should be locked up. I mean, after all that I did.”
“You are very confusing, you know. One minute you want to be here, another you want to be in prison and another you want to be home. Just decide what you want.”
“Easy for you to say, wherever I go, you have to go. If I decided to hang myself in here, you would have nowhere to go. Maybe I should just do that instead.”
“You know I would still be there with you. No matter what you do, I’ll always be there with you, no matter how hard you tried.”
“Stop; just stop. You’re manipulating me into making me think I’m crazy.”
“I’ve said this before, Jonathan. I’m only here to prove something you already know.”
“And what’s that?”
“You’re crazy; completely and utterly insane.”
“And how does the fact that you’re here prove that?”
“Jonathan, I’m not even here. I’ve never been here.”
“So, what does that have to do anything?”
“I am you; you keep thinking you’re talking to someone else when you’re talking to me, when really you’re talking to yourself.”
“Impossible.”
“Look down.”
“Why?”
“Look at what you’re wearing, Jonathan.”
“So what? That doesn’t prove anything.”
“Yes it does. You belong in here.”
“You know what? You’re right.”