Taking, not replacing

things I never need

What I can’t see is my blinding greed

trying to feed on a feast with a full belly

where my eyes search outwards and never inside

because it hates what it sees so again it proceeds

to consume without looking behind.

Look what I have. But look at the world.

No but look at where I am. No look at the road.

I’m starving off this delusion

Because I know it’s not enough

When I had nothing, I searched for something

And when I had everything, it disappeared

so I see things that aren’t there

and I’m back to square one.

Unable to stomach the truth

And see with no vision

I pass the same sign

And still make the same decision

Among my greed, I circle around

like a dog without a leash

without a nose but still a hound

A fat demon with a small mouth

Bound to no bound

Sinking to no ground

Every thought to be found

But no action to free itself.

I lost my home. My friends. My family.

Everything but my appetite.

And when I lost myself,

I asked for a map

You said I could borrow

with a marked location for me to follow.

I knew I was loved and I knew You’d share

so I continued a path all in Your care.

But soon my hunger grew

and I swear that I knew

where the destination would take me

Because it’s the greed

It’s my greed

that let me believe

no map could deceive the path You laid out for me

So I ate my way through just to see if I could

make it on my own so one day

I won’t ask for anymore

and ask from anyone.

but I do wonder

I do wish to know

why I’m still in the middle of nowhere

why I’m back to where I’ve begun

After counting the stars and calling for more help

I sit at a cave of what looks like an empty shell

finally able to look inside.

Oh God, I ate myself.