Taking, not replacing
things I never need
What I can’t see is my blinding greed
trying to feed on a feast with a full belly
where my eyes search outwards and never inside
because it hates what it sees so again it proceeds
to consume without looking behind.
Look what I have. But look at the world.
No but look at where I am. No look at the road.
I’m starving off this delusion
Because I know it’s not enough
When I had nothing, I searched for something
And when I had everything, it disappeared
so I see things that aren’t there
and I’m back to square one.
Unable to stomach the truth
And see with no vision
I pass the same sign
And still make the same decision
Among my greed, I circle around
like a dog without a leash
without a nose but still a hound
A fat demon with a small mouth
Bound to no bound
Sinking to no ground
Every thought to be found
But no action to free itself.
I lost my home. My friends. My family.
Everything but my appetite.
And when I lost myself,
I asked for a map
You said I could borrow
with a marked location for me to follow.
I knew I was loved and I knew You’d share
so I continued a path all in Your care.
But soon my hunger grew
and I swear that I knew
where the destination would take me
Because it’s the greed
It’s my greed
that let me believe
no map could deceive the path You laid out for me
So I ate my way through just to see if I could
make it on my own so one day
I won’t ask for anymore
and ask from anyone.
but I do wonder
I do wish to know
why I’m still in the middle of nowhere
why I’m back to where I’ve begun
After counting the stars and calling for more help
I sit at a cave of what looks like an empty shell
finally able to look inside.
Oh God, I ate myself.