Funny Sayings

Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!!"

At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

" In a restaurant window: "Eat now, pay waiter."

Sign on a retail store door in Stevens Point, WI:

"PUSH. If it doesn't open, PULL. If it still doesn't open, WE ARE CLOSED."

Sign in school near clock: "Time will pass; will you?"

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."

Sign in a dentist's office: "Patient parking only. All others will be painfully extracted."

Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."

Brochure for mountain cabin rentals: "Lovely honeymoon cabin . . . . sleeps 8"

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: "Do not activate with wet hands."

In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."

In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."

On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

" Seen on a billboard along a highway: "Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked driver's education."

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