WHAT IS RAPE?

Rape is sex without consent. This means that rape isn’t just people being physically forced into a sexual act, it also includes pressure that makes someone feel like they had no choice but to have sex.

Most rape victims know their attacker, sometimes it is even the person they’re in a relationship with.

Anyone of any gender or sexual orientation can be a victim of rape and / or sexual assault. The most important bit to remember is that being pressured or forced to have sex or to do something sexual when you don’t want to is a crime. If you have been raped, or sexually assaulted, remember that it’s not your fault, you aren’t to blame and there are people who can help you.

HOW TO RECOGNISE RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT

What is rape?

It is rape when someone is pressured or forced to have sex when they don’t want to. If you’re going to have sex or do some kind of sexual activity, it’s important that both of you give consent every time – even if it’s with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Some people think that if the person who was raped was drunk or on drugs then it is their fault and they were ‘asking for it’. This isn’t true. It is never the victim’s fault.

The legal definition of rape is when a male puts his penis into the vagina, mouth or anus of another person when that person doesn’t want him to. It can happen to boys and girls and is a serious crime.

If somebody puts objects or other parts of the body (other than a penis) such as a finger, into someone’s vagina or anus, when that person didn’t want it to happen, this is known as ‘assault by penetration’.

What is sexual assault?

Sexual assault is when someone is forced or pressured to take part in sexual activity that they don’t feel comfortable with. This can include things like:

• Being touched in a sexual way that makes you uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not)

• Being pressured to send naked pictures of yourself

• Being made to sexually stimulate yourself or others using hands or fingers (known as masturbation).

This is a crime that can be committed by both men and women against men or women.

Rape, sexual assault and assault by penetration can have serious consequences for everyone involved. If you have been a victim of any of these, it’s really important that you tell someone about what happened so they can help you.

CONSEQUENCES OF RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT

Consequences for the victim

Being raped or sexually assaulted can have a deeply negative and long-lasting impact on people’s emotional, physical and mental health.

Someone who has been raped or sexually assaulted might feel:

• Shocked and upset, or they may struggle to understand what has happened

• Embarrassed, or worried about what people will think

• Guilty – although it’s important to remember that it is never the victim’s fault

• Scared or frightened

They may also develop low self esteem, or a sense of low self worth.

Potential health consequences can include:

• Unwanted pregnancies

• Sexually transmitted infections

• Physical damage or internal injury

• Mental health problems, depression and self-harm.

Consequences for somebody who has pressured someone else into sex

Getting into trouble with the Police. If somebody has sex, or does anything sexual with someone without gaining consent, they are committing a crime. Both rape and sexual assault have the possibility of a prison sentence, with the maximum punishment for rape being life in prison.

Having sex without consent or sexually assaulting another person could lead to their details being put on the Sex Offenders’ register.

Criminal convictions could seriously limit what someone wants to do in the future, such as doing certain jobs, and travelling abroad to certain countries.

Getting a bad reputation. How would you react if you knew somebody was a rapist, or an abuser? Would you want to spend time with them? The social consequences of being labelled an abuser or rapist should not be underestimated and can be severe

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT

What should I do if I’m feeling pressured into sex or other things I’m not comfortable with?

People should never feel pressured into sex or doing any kind of sexual activity they don’t want to do. Everyone has their own limit. It’s totally normal to kiss and do other stuff with someone but not want to have full sex.

Even if it’s your partner and you’ve had sex with them before, it doesn’t mean you should have to do it again.

If you need help coping with pressure to do things you aren’t comfortable with, help is available. Click here for details of organisations who can help.

Who should I talk to if I’ve been sexually assaulted or raped?

First understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent the assault. The fault lies entirely with the person who raped or sexually assaulted you.

It is important you tell someone you trust as soon as possible so you can get the support you need. This could be, for example, a friend, parent, teacher, or school nurse. You could also speak to the police. For details of organisations who can to help you click here.

If you’ve been raped and you’re not out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender you might be worried about getting help for fear that you might be outed in the process. It’s really important that you seek help as soon as you can. Any information you provide to the police or other organisations about your sexual orientation or gender identity will be treated confidentially. There are organisations who can provide specific advice and who understand what you’re going through.

What should I do if I’m worried about a friend?

If your friend has been forced or pressured to have sex when they didn’t want to, that is rape and a crime. You can help them understand that what happened wasn’t their fault and there was nothing they could have done to prevent it. Let them know there are people who can help them and provide support and guidance. You can speak to any of these organisations here to get more support and if you ever feel that your friend is in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

What should I do if I think I’ve pressured someone into sex?

If your partner doesn’t want to have sex, it’s very important that you accept that and don’t try to change their mind. You can contact Respect Phoneline here for support and advice if you feel that you may have pressured your partner into sex or sexual activity.

I’m a lesbian and my girlfriend forced me to have sex. Does that mean I wasn’t raped?

If a woman has sex or does something sexual with another woman who didn’t want to and didn’t give consent, this is ‘sexual assault’. It might have a different name, but the crime and the consequences for both the victim and the perpetrator are still very serious.

I’m a boy and my girlfriend keeps pressuring me to have sex even when I ask her to stop. Is this rape?

If a woman has sex or does something sexual when the man didn’t want her to and didn’t give consent, it is still ‘sexual assault’. It’s not OK and is still a serious crime with consequences.

If you or someone you know is having any issues involving Relationships or Consent please speak to any member of staff or the safeguarding team immediately.

Students have direct access to Relationships and Consent information, support and advice on our Student Services Site (please show the site to your learners and share the links)