The Tonaquint intermediate counselors are here for you during this time of change and uncertainty. Don't hesitate to reach out. You can email us or fill in the form below and we will reach out to you.

“Children use structure and routine to feel safe and comfortable—they need a predictable routine to help them navigate the world.” - Dr. Rebecca Schrag Hershberg

• Create a schedule and post it somewhere for your children to see. This does not have to be a rigid schedule, but an estimate of how the day will go.

• Add more time to each section than needed to allow for calm transitions.

• Point out the things that are the same and the things that are different in the new schedule. This tells your children that though it feels like everything is changing some things will stay the same.

• Each day that you stay consistent with the new schedule will become their “new normal”.

Humans are social creatures who require time together to thrive. Even introverts need connections in life. Isolation breeds negative thoughts and negative thoughts can quickly take over and tear down our mental health.

• • Ideas of how to connect with friends -

    1. Schedule times to talk on the phone

    2. Virtual play dates or chats

    3. Group chats

    4. Online games - Game Pigeon is a free app

    5. Write letters and mail them back and forth (like a pen pal)

    6. Journal with each other through Google Docs

    7. Go on walks and greet everyone you pass. Play a game and count one point for all nonverbal reactions (smile, nod) and two points for verbal responses.

Normally teachers chunk the work they give students and spread it out over an entire week. Right now some teachers are having to give large packets which can feel a bit daunting.

• Chunk your child’s work into smaller pieces and create a reasonable goal for each day. For example, work for 15 minutes and then play for 15 minutes. Build up time over the day and extend the amount of time. For some students it is easier to say “When you finish ____ then you can do_____.”

Times of change can cause a child’s frustration tolerance to be lower. A little bump on an assignment can cause a child to spiral down to “I can’t do any of this work” or “this is too hard I’ve never learned this”.

• Remind your child that all you ask is that they do their best. They may not be able to do everything perfectly and that is ok.

• Reach out to your child’s teacher for tips on how to support your child.

• When they are feeling overwhelmed have them take a break and either do something active or do a mindfulness activity. When they feel their body is calm again they can get back to work.

  • 5-6-7 Breathing: Lay down in a comfortable and quiet environment with arms on by your side and legs relaxed. Breathe in & fill your lungs for 5 seconds - hold for 6 seconds - push out through your nose or mouth for 7 seconds. Calming doesn’t come from the amount of air you bring in, but from the amount of air you push out of your lungs.

It is easy to get off your normal sleep cycle when you are home. As tempting as it might be to stay up late watching tv or movies it is important to keep as normal of a routine as possible.

• Keep bedtimes the same as they would be if your children were going to school.

• Having trouble sleeping? Try adding in a stretching routine before bed. Yoga for better sleep

• Online learning has increased the amount of screen time our children are exposed to. This makes it even more important to create screen free activities for our children to do before bedtime.

  • Playing a board game

  • Reading a book

  • Listening to music

Students who are very involved and have a large number of out of school activities may not be used to self-engaging their creativity. It is as if their creative muscle needs to be strengthened. Good news is problem solving stems from creativity. Creativity is the antidote to boredom.

Sam Miller, Teen Counselor & Life Coach has created his “Top 4” ways to spark your teenager’s imagination.

• • Ask your teenager to list the top three things that excite them the most. You can say something like, “Besides watching TV, playing video games, or hanging out on social media, what are the top three things that you would love to do?”

    • When they come up with a list have them get involved with one of them to the best of their ability. It could even be something as simple as researching online and reading up on something new.

  • Ask your teenager to name the top three people they admire most and write down what it is they admire about them. Then have them learn more about that person to see who they are and how they behave in life. This is a great way to help put your teenager in touch with a role model.

  • Ask your teenager to name the top three places they would love to go in the world and why. Once they’ve written them down, have them research it on the web. Tell them to figure out how much it would cost for them to go there and then write a list of things they would want to do.

  • Ask your teenager to name the top three things they want to accomplish in life. Again, have them write it down and ask them how they plan to accomplish it. This will get their creative juices flowing and start them looking forward to life by building a sort of action plan.

    • It may be tempting to solve the boredom problem for your children during this time, however, problem solving is built when we come up with our own solutions.

You may need to give a few options to get their imagination ball rolling. Starting the list with chores can really increase a child’s willingness to come up with their own ideas.

• Audiobooks are a great way to stimulate imagination and can be listened to while on a walk. Free Audible

Integrating the theme into the Home:

With all of the changes that have happened over these few weeks, students might not seem to be as motivated to get their work done as in the past. The lack of motivation can come from several different places. Being able to identify the source will help you craft a meaningful approach to improving your child's motivation. Some of the common circumstances that can affect a person’s motivation are the same that students might be experiencing during this time.

• Change in schedule or too much downtime

• Lack of connection with friends - feeling isolated

• Feeling overwhelmed with their current workload

• Feeling they don’t have the skills necessary to complete their assignments

• Disrupted sleep

• Boredom