ABD in COVID-19: Balancing graduate school and mothering during a global pandemic

Women who pursue a path of higher education with established families face challenges differently than men in a similar phase of life. Gendered experiences can cause strain on family relationships, and feelings of regret for mothers (Baxter & Britton, 2001). Identity issues for doctoral students emerge for women as they work to balance pressures of creating an “academic” identity clearly distinct from their “mom” identity. This duality in identity includes maintaining home obligations, as well as looking for ways to publish, attend conferences, perform at high levels, and produce research.

Testing in doctoral programs requires extensive studying and serves to demonstrate student comprehension while making an argument or developing research ideas (Ponder, et al., 2004). This is a critical juncture for students and dropout rates range anywhere from 30-40% at ABD, which have negative impacts on both students and universities (Travaglianti et al., 2018). One of my professors previously pointed out, “ABD is where many students in academia drop out of the process...it’s sort of like an abyss.” These struggles and statistics are well documented in the literature pre-pandemic--COVID-19 exacerbated these exact issues for me as a student, and undoubtedly for many others. During the wait for exam results, the words of my professor several years prior came flooding back. The compounding effects of uncertainty and building division over the handling of the pandemic took a significant toll on my family and on me. Perhaps I should apply for my second masters and move on with life, disappearing into the ABD abyss?

In an effort to respect the collective changes caused by COVID-19, my department chair contacted me to see if I would like to reschedule the exam. After careful consideration, I decided to move forward because life was more uncertain than ever and if I put it off, I had feared I would not take it at all. The test arrived on a Monday while the streets of my city were empty, and everything carried an eerie feel. The test was certainly no small feat, and as noted by Brooks, I felt “as smart as I would ever be,” (2011, p. 1) upon completion. While the application for masters and quitting was tempting, I did receive word that I passed the exam and officially moved to the ABD status. COVID-19 has far-reaching, ongoing effects for students and for women, in particular. We will likely never again see another time such as this, and as we move forward it is imperative to consider lived experiences for women in our doctoral programs and academic roles.

Women work to establish their academic identity as students and in higher education jobs they continue to face competing roles. In light of the ongoing COVID-19 environment, just like students, academic programs in higher education can also adjust and adapt. This can be achieved in a variety of ways such as promoting policies and practices that demonstrate sensitivity to work-life balance and competing roles. Departments sensitive to complexities faced by women during COVID-19, especially women juggling their roles as mothers, could facilitate more women entering academia, strengthening diversity in perspectives. Consideration of women’s experiences could include creating small support groups, discussion with women about their competing obligations, and providing flexible opportunities such as on-line teaching which has become more accessible during the pandemic. These gender-specific efforts could produce significant impacts for students and academics under normal circumstances and could have a compounding positive effect in the aftermath of COVID-19.